Squarebob v A&L

[alice-rose]

and if he only knew.............

 

we're even MUCH nicer than that in real life !

 

I think he has a particular 'thing' about one of the ladies

named Mimi..... he was so obsessed with her - he was even

signing his posts Mimi ! ! !

[MimiJane]

He'll just have to join the long queue Alice ... (I wish)

[alice-rose]

p.s. Mimi

 

What do you think Squarebob is wearing when he sits at the computer ?

[alice-rose]

got to go....

taxi service required again

back out

to the pictures now

 

feel like I've only been back

2 minutes...

 

see y'all when i get back !

 

hugs to all you lovely peeps !

alice x

[MimiJane]

Alice don't All sorts of awful thoughts going through my head ... grass skirts, Anne Summers, painted nails ...

[j.barton1]

I for one will miss him, why does he have to go??

[squarebob]

HAVE YOU NOT HEARD.

 

ALL BANK CLAIMS TO BE SUSPENDED UNTIL THE OUTCOME OF A PENDING TRIAL BETWEEN THE OFT AND 7 BANKS IS KNOWN.

 

Barnacle Bill (Squarebob's Auntie)

[squarebob]

Ladies Despair Not.

 

We, Squarebob's friends and family will act as a relay between Squarebob on Alloa Vera and your good selves on the Mainland.

 

Coquille St-Jaques MB

[alice-rose]

did you know

 

the Queen received

 

a SPONGE

 

for one of her wedding presents :p :p

 

 

was this one of your relatives,

and is he still in service ?

and are there now lots of little sponges ?

 

butlersponges, maidofhonoursponges,

and was he a

don juan

or did he do one ? shortly after the wedding 8-)

 

alice down the rabbit-hole

x

[squarebob]

I asked Mummy if she remembered some of those who went to the Queen's wedding, she only remembers a few has most of them have gone 'orf'.

 

There was Mr & Mrs Dundee from Scotland and Mr & Mrs Crusty Top Sponge and their little sponge fingers from Andover. Mr & Mrs Lemon Sponge came over from China and Mrs Upside Down Cake came over from Australia.

Also there were the Misses, Coffee and Caramel Sponge from Austria and the Misses, Orange, Lemon, Pineapple & Coffee Feather Cake all the way from Palm Springs. There were the Dowagers, Strawberry, Chocolate & Ginger Swiss-Rolls from Switzerland and good old Uncle Bavaria was there as well as Uncle Plum Duff of the Orkneys. There were the Maids of Honour too many to mention as well as Sally Lunn and Madeleine accompanied by Queenie and her Fairy Cakes. There was the Parkins from Yorkshire and Mr & Mrs Oat Cake from Staffordshire. There was also an Auntie and Uncle Battenburg that came over from Germany and of course not forgetting, Millie Fueilles who popped over for the day from France.

There was even a stuffed Monkey on the table. And everone had a 'jolly good time'.

 

'Choux Pastry'

[alice-rose]

Well I must say Mister Squarebob

 

you have the most amazing relatives.

 

and

Shoe pastry ?

what does that taste like ?

are the laces

made of licquorice ?

[squarebob]

Madame Aleece,

 

Ze Squarebob as a very vareed familee becos is fasser was 'Rover' who came to 'Dovair' fromm ze 'East' or maaybe ze 'West'. E as is fasser's bludd in im, this is vy he is so speshial. Heas a sparkle in is eye for'Mimi and Kitty', peraps, zey join us ere, you alzo Aleece, the more laydees ze bettair as Squarebob e needs lots of, ow yu say.....

TLC bon.

 

'Gateaux Lisette'

Alloa Vera. 27.7.07.

[alice-rose]

aHHHHHH

So zer sqwerrpegs famileee were romance zjhypsies ?

[squarebob]

Cherie

Very Romance Zjhypsies. M*** ow yu forenners can spel.

 

I go see oncle ned now.

Bon Nuit

xxx

[alice-rose]

ned

as in neddie ?

 

as in

horsie neddie

 

as in

gee up neddie

 

as in

horsey horsey

don't you stop

 

as in

Whoaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

(that means stop in horse language)

 

zu meannn zu avv an oncle oooo is an 'orse ?

[squarebob]

Madame

I am Bill Oddball from the Office of Foreign Affairs.

We have to monitor these sites to make sure that 'Fair Play' is taking place and everyone is 'Playing on a Level Field'. I think that in your case this is not so. Poor animals cannot speak for themselves, except of course Mr Ed, but nobody seems to be able to get hold of him these days. therefore Madam I must ask you to take care of what you say about our animal friends. There is a a lady on this forum who sent a shiver of 'Fear', yes 'Fear' through the fox population when she admitted on this very forum that she had a 'Stuffed Fox' in her house. This is a very serious matter and we are doing our level best to find who and where she is. Maybe this poor creature can be returned to his family.

 

Yours Sincerely

B.O. of the F.A.

[alice-rose]

Bonnn Swarrrr Monsieurr Odd ball

 

I sort yoo only av de problem wiv de man boobbzzz

I am truuly shockered zat you advertise your problem on a

publique forrum

we ladeeezzz are not used to zisss kind of talk

 

and vy do you vont to votch Fairies at Play ?

 

zerrr are no moooor playing fields.. let alone level....

 

zose horsebuilders av built on every scraps of land

 

I sink you are mekkin it upp

saying zerr is a ladie on 'ere wiz a stuff fox.

oooo wud avvv such a zing ?

 

and why do yoo avvv B.O.

zerr is no neeed for such a zing zeeeze days

[squarebob]

Madam,

I Jest not she hides under the name of a Kat!

Be assured, we will find her, and Justice will be Served upon her.

 

And Madam, I will also not tolerate this misuse of our language, as I said before 'We must all play on a level field'.

 

Do you live in Slough by any chance?

 

B.O. of the F.A.

[alice-rose]

SQUAREBOB WHERE ARE YOU ???

 

No word from you in almost a week !

 

We need you on here to keep our spirits up.

We miss your constant supply of good natured fun

 

and delightful pearls of wisdom

 

 

Please don't tell us you've gone back to live

in ye olde yellow pineapple

deep in yonder blue pacific

amidst lots of other sponges

 

where they read the bikini times

lay paths for unmarried women

and sip cocktails all day long

in shorts that are way too small for them ! shrunk in the wash

ps.

will you be ironing the red wellies and string vest ?

 

 

pps.

have you defected / disinfected / deflected to another place ?

 

nightie night

 

 

alice in sootyland

xx

[alice-rose]

maybe the sponge has become waterlogged

 

with all this rain we've been having.....

 

 

hopefully the sun should dry him out

 

and make him all light and bouncey again.

 

 

out came the sunshine

dried up all the rain

incey wincey spongebob

came on the forum again

 

 

 

alice in Zedddddddland Zedddd Zedddinggg oh the soot....

 

night night

xx

[alice-rose]

did the hot pants go down well today with the ladeeeeezzzz

 

and is there now -

 

a long and winding road

i mean path

that leads to your door

 

alice xx

[squarebob]

Hello Alice in Sootyland,

 

You call yours Charles, I call mine Henry, have two of them, sucked up more muck between them then Wragge's 'Hot Air' balloon. One's red, the other is blue, and the blue on has been banished to the shed as the cleaner dropped it on her foot, result, 1 broken foot, 1 year plus out of work, still not right now, plus she has put on weight through inactivity and as her love life has gone down the tube, she is charging me for that also! 'Women'

 

I shall be doing a 'Survey' on a seperate thread later on just for the 'Gals'.

 

Today: Went to the gym to pump up the tyres and put a glow on my cheeks. Duly arrive at The ******* Home for Unmarried Mothers. Took all my gear out of the car and rang the bell. Matron told me to use the back door, so off I slinked. Well to cut a long story short, what I thought was just a couple of hours work, turned out to be a lot more. The Matron had told me she only wanted patches put on the 'Wayward' path to straighten it out. Seem she needs a 'Whole New Straight Path To Eternity'. So I've picked and scraped my way down this path of ruin and have promised to return tomorrow and Sunday, where Matron has assured me that there will be no shortage of helpers. My digits are sore, my back is aching, but I'm really looking forward to getting stuck in over the next few days.

 

Reynard xxx

[alice-rose]

crikey !

 

sounds like sid james

meets hattie jacques

 

Oooooohhhhhhhhhhh Matron

 

carry on up the khyber...

 

I'm off to watch

The royle family, just started now...

 

back later

 

carry on alice

 

xxx

[squarebob]

Sorry Alice,

I really am K nackered and so off to bed I go, dreaming of my 'Labours of 'Ercules tomorrow, and Sunday.......and Monday.......and maybee Tuesday as well.

Reynard, xxxx (nice name that, suits my new position.)

[alice-rose]

Reynard ???

 

new position ???

 

alice in wonderment

xx