Accused of sexual harrasment

[Lillibelle]

I know someone who,,whilst partaking in office horseplay,lightly tapped the backside of a colleague..it was a step too far.The incident was reported,the person was sacked.....The person sacked is a woman.

[madari]

Sorry if this sounds very harsh on a sunday evening but the fact of the matter is simple,Once the ugly head of discrimination is raised,either racial or sexual the company has a liability on their hands and there is only one way this is heading........I know the answer but i will let you to Guess??

[Pusillanimous]

The problem is that while companies know they have to take harassment seriously, they often don't know the best way to do this, so anyone accused of harassment is found to be guilty. Companies don't always realise that it is on occassion appropriate to take no action (

 

Disagree. It is not a given that any actuon will be taken at all, or that they will take it seriously, other than going through the routine of being seen to investigate. It is appropriate they are investigating. However, no point getting stressed out.

[madari]

I fully agree as regards `....no point in getting stressed out`....but like i said in my post ...I know where this is heading.....good luck!!

[madari]

Do we have an update...???

[stu007]

Hi

 

Something else I picked up on is that you used a Mobile Phone.

 

What is the Companies Policy on Mobile Phone use in the Workplace?

[meg&mog]

Hi Robbie

 

I would like to wish you luck and hope everything goes well for you,i have a 11 year old son with Autism and only the other day i was discussing with the school how i worry he could end up in a position like this due to his limited knowledge of social boundaries......please dont be offended or patronised by my comments i am not suggesting you dont know right from wrong or that any and all wrong doing you may have done has a excuse i can just understand why you have found yourself here......i sincerley hope everything works out with your job and your wife and wish you all the best for the future

 

Meg & Mog

[o0robbie0o]

I wouldn't expect Aspergers to be a mitigating factor. It does not (I am Autistic and have friends with Aspergers who would never dream of doing such a thing) excuse behaviour like this.

 

I've had someone do a similar thing to me and I was really upset with the way they treated me. They claimed it was a joke. I could not see in any way how it was a joke.

 

You really cant compare your behavioural difficulties to someone elses like That. Read your post again and think about it. I have aspergers and i would never compare my behaviour to others with the same condition like that. So im guessing things that people find odd about you is ok as its in your aspergers rule book?

[Emmzzi]

Hi Robbie, hope you are doing ok. How is everything going? Have work made their decision?

[o0robbie0o]

So. I waited for 3 weeks with no reply. Awful time. Picked myself up, foubd a better job, went directly to hr and told them i would resign if they gave me a basic reference . They agreed, and i left. Speaking to a colleague on the way out i was told the woman was blabing on about how it was my fault that she wasnt allowed to slap anybodies ass anymore. I know alot of work colleagues went for an interview with HR and told them exactly what i had said. I can imagine i would hve got a warning but..after the woman and her mother had gossiped avout it and told everybody in the building...i didnt feel ok to return.

So its not so black and white really, whixh is provably why they took so long to contact me. I was also told that i had to keep telling people i was sick and in no way try to make contact with anyone at work..or even step foot in the Building. If i did, they wouldnt give me a reference and would be forced to inform my new employer about tye whole situation. So...blackmail...hr style! Was a real pain trying to collect my posessions yesterday. Was spoken to like dirt..i guess im guilty with out trail

[altobelli]

Hi Robbie, I'm glad you were able to find another job. I'm sorry about what happened, and I think from your last post its clear what really went on, crying 'harassment' as a way of exerting power with the expected knee-jerk reaction.

 

Its unfortunately typical of the way this type of thing tends to be handled, a lot of stress caused all round, reputations damaged, and no benefit whatsoever in terms of promoting equality.

 

But I hope the new job goes well and I'd just try and put the other place behind you.

[o0robbie0o]

Hey, thanks very much. It was actually her mother who hasnt liked me since i started who took it further. I wont say where she is from but she is extremely old fashioned and very catholic. Her 32 year old daughter, turned out not to care either way, shame really.

[o0robbie0o]

Ill definately learn to keep my distance from collegues in future, thanks for your help

[Emmzzi]

Not a bad result Robbie. Can't believe she is moaning about having to stop slapping!!! Anyway good luck in the new place, I hope it has a more professional atmosphere for you!

[honeybee13]

Hello again Robbie.

 

Thank you for letting us know the outcome, it's always good to know. I wish you well in the new job and hope it works out for you.

 

My best, HB

[Nystagmite]

You really cant compare your behavioural difficulties to someone elses like That. Read your post again and think about it. I have aspergers and i would never compare my behaviour to others with the same condition like that. So im guessing things that people find odd about you is ok as its in your aspergers rule book?

 

eh? I am simply stating that you can't use it as an excuse to do something like this. You should be intelligent enough to know right from wrong.

[altobelli]

Although bearing in mind that the other person involved wasn't bothered, it is debatable whether the OP did anything wrong.

[bonnygirl]

As an older person ie past retirement age still working, I have found that some women especially the younger ones today can be very nasty. However this was a mother under the illusion that she was protecting her daughter a 32 year old woman. A mother that does not want to let go of protecting her offspring, can you imagine what a mother in law she would made. God help the husband if she is married!!

[Pusillanimous]

I wont say where she is from but she is extremely old fashioned and very catholic. .

 

 

You do not have any evidence it was this woman's mother who made the originating complaint. Not everybody thinks that taking photos up a woman's skirt is amusing horseplay. If you knew this other woman was "old fashioned and very catholic" then you should have done it in private and not in front of someone who is likely to be offended. You are in denial that your actions were offensive. Blaiming it on the other woman's nationality or race means you are not getting it.

[Lillibelle]

I'm catholic,,and I'm 'old fashioned' enough to think your actions were less than acceptable (No I'm NOT old).Justify it and rewrite history as you see fit but please learn from it.Sexual innuendo,banter etc just isn't right in the workplace,those you count as friends will also become your enemy when disciplinary action is taken.It's called 'covering your own back'

[altobelli]

Robbie, I disgree with the last two posts. I'm also Catholic, and find nothing offensive about your actions. In a diverse workplace it is important not to foist one's religious or moral beliefs upon others. Banter is a positive part of a united and happy workforce, and there is no harm in innuendo between mature adults. If someone is genuinely offended by behaviour, or genuinely feels that the atmosphere in the workplace is oppressive, then they should by all means raise the issue. But they should do so informally -this is much better than going down the formal grievance route, as can be seen from the result of your case, where nobody really benefitted. Will the mother who complained about you be complaining to HR about the manager who is unhappy at not being able to go around 'slapping asses'? Somehow I doubt it.

 

You have nothing to be ashamed of, and the only thing to learn is that matters of this nature are almost invariably mishandled. You can go into your new, better, job without any stain on your character.