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o0robbie0o

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Everything posted by o0robbie0o

  1. hi, i need some urgent advice. I was due to let my flat this friday, signed the agreement, ready to move in with my partner. we have now split and i've been told by the estate agents i cannot back out. This will leave my homeless for the short term. Does anyone know what i can do about this? I know ill be inconveniencing the new tenants but there is really nothing i can do.
  2. Ill definately learn to keep my distance from collegues in future, thanks for your help
  3. Hey, thanks very much. It was actually her mother who hasnt liked me since i started who took it further. I wont say where she is from but she is extremely old fashioned and very catholic. Her 32 year old daughter, turned out not to care either way, shame really.
  4. So. I waited for 3 weeks with no reply. Awful time. Picked myself up, foubd a better job, went directly to hr and told them i would resign if they gave me a basic reference . They agreed, and i left. Speaking to a colleague on the way out i was told the woman was blabing on about how it was my fault that she wasnt allowed to slap anybodies ass anymore. I know alot of work colleagues went for an interview with HR and told them exactly what i had said. I can imagine i would hve got a warning but..after the woman and her mother had gossiped avout it and told everybody in the building...i didnt feel ok to return. So its not so black and white really, whixh is provably why they took so long to contact me. I was also told that i had to keep telling people i was sick and in no way try to make contact with anyone at work..or even step foot in the Building. If i did, they wouldnt give me a reference and would be forced to inform my new employer about tye whole situation. So...blackmail...hr style! Was a real pain trying to collect my posessions yesterday. Was spoken to like dirt..i guess im guilty with out trail
  5. You really cant compare your behavioural difficulties to someone elses like That. Read your post again and think about it. I have aspergers and i would never compare my behaviour to others with the same condition like that. So im guessing things that people find odd about you is ok as its in your aspergers rule book?
  6. yes. but paying for solicitor = not paying rent it makes me feel sick thinking that someone would not feel safe at work because of me.
  7. Ok great, so i guess my only option then is to admit sexual harassment, appologise and try to convince them i wont do it again.
  8. i know she wasnt happy with the news. i wasnt expecting her to be. Yes i agree, the sexualized culture in my workplace is not good. there is very little i can do to change it. Yes i know it was a stupid thing to do, and no i dont want to lose my career just so others can learn from it
  9. Yes, the womans manager often joins in the banter. My manager often joins in on banter to but not to the extent. We are a catering department in a very big building so you can imagine we differ from other departments.
  10. I havent had my interview yet but have been told by HR that its very serious. Yes i agree, the impact on the victim is important. But, if the victim didnt intend on making a complaint as she did not see herself as a victim ot harassed then how can an observer feel harassed? would it be the same as if i stumbled on and watched someone being mugged. Could i sue the mugger for harassment?
  11. actually this kind of response scares me a bit. When you talk about ' never had to sack more than one person' ..to me that person probably has a wife or kids, a mortgage, bills that need paying, a career he's worked hard for, a life he is trying to live. To you, its just an object in the way of you doing your job
  12. well thats what im scared of. My whole entire career being used as an example to kick the department into the shape they want it to be
  13. can i just ask emmzzi - if dismissed for sexual harassment, needing to infrom any future employer of this would make it near impossible to continue with my career or infact obtain any type of job at all. Whos going to hire someone who was dismissed for sexual harassment in their previous job. Also i think i wouldnt be entitled to Job seekers allowance or any type of benefit due to the nature of my dismissal. This would force a productive member of society into someone who wouldnt be able to support himself or his family financially. I've never ben out of work from a young age. The prospect of being unemployable seems like a fate worse than death. Would HR consider the implications of dismissing someone or would they just think 'out of sight, out of mind'?
  14. myself and my team have almost doubled our departments turnover in the year and a half ive been there. We work very hard, we dont take breaks (another HR nightmare) and yes we have fun. If we didnt, we'd go mad. How would you go about setting new boundaries to replace the onces that have been there for years. Surely you wouldnt be able to dismiss everyone who didnt tow the line
  15. Im not her manager. She works in a different department and has a different manager. Im not really a manager, i have a higher chef grade but all in all..it doesnt make a difference in terms of salary, respect or anything else. I just get more responsibility. And absolutely no way, her behaviour was completely normal, ive know her for 4 years and i know how she is. there was no tension or difference in her
  16. thanks. Im not really clinging to that..its just a simple fact. Im sorry to say but it is. And its accepted, not in HR as they really arent in touch with the rest of us down below but ..yep. Im not making it up. I think i get my ass slapped 3 times a day! i dont ask for it, i dont enjoy it, im not offended by it as i know its done in jest. Maybe i shouldnt mention it as i guess, it would possibly sound like an HR nightmare judging by your opinion. I havent worked in a place like that before but i guess it cant be the only one.
  17. thanks for the posts. I have received the decription of the accusation. I am accused of placing a mobile phone on the floor next to a female work colleague. My purpose in doing so was to take a photograph or pretend to take a photograph and in doing so my actions impacted in her privacy and dignty. Most likely the recipients mother and her line mamger made the complaint. This happened on a friday and i was conversing normally with the daughter on monday, tuesday and wednesday. She was in no way scared, intimidated, upset or angry with me during those days. I did intend to take a picture of myself and her looking down. so, this is the picture i have which i will show them during the meeting. both of us are looking down at the camera. This is the cultre of our workplace which is accepted by herself and everybody else who works there. when i started it was a bit odd to see everybody like this but its easy to fall into it, especially for me. I didnt intend to upset anyone at all. How could i possibly benefit from that. I do understand that my actions were wrong but were certainly not harassment. I think if i do get dismissed i would have to get used to the lynch mob mentality that one or two posters exhibited here. Anyway, i am seeking advice from a private doctor on my condition and how i can control it better. It has affected my career very badly but still, i dont feel right using it as an excuse.
  18. Hi everybody, thanks for your replies. Bit of a rough night. I told my wife and shes left to stay with friends. theres alot of stigma attached to those words i think. I havent read through all the post yet but thanks for posting. Just a quick note. The purpose of the joke was to make fun of the situation on the tube. the actual picture was mostly of me looking down and of the woman also looking down and smiling. The reason someone would take offence to this is if they took it out of context. Its the same as talking to one of my African work colleagues about a subject containg the word 'black' Somebody walks past at that moment and thinks i'm being degrading and takes offence. Does this make sense? Anyway, i do have a mild form of Aspergers which has plagued me throughout my career. It does manifest itself int he form of bad jokes but nothing ever malicous. I'm just not that type of person.
  19. Hi Honeybee. Well im taking legal advice and will be instructing a lawyer to sit in on the hearing. i wanted to get some background info on similar cases basically. And also find out if i can actually talk to the woman before the case. This happened last week and we have been eating lunch together since then so i doubt she was informed that the complaint was being made
  20. I think being told how we can joke with our friends and what words we can use creates an extremely oppressive atmosphere. I can imagine if i lose my job, the woman in question wont be able to joke with her friends in the way she wants to and niether will anybody else. It doesnt make for a good working enviroment. I am extremely against any form of bullying and consider everybody i work with a friend. Unfortunately when its goes upstairs and sits on a desk in HR we just become statistics.
  21. yes it is my choice and i prefer to tell the truth. Unfortunately there are far too many hard lined HR departments like yours that force people to accept something they really dont want to accept, plead guilty and show remorse when what they should really do is say what actually happened. Just to see that little equation you posted shows me how these departments work. Its really not fair, hopefully my department are a little less like yours
  22. she didnt find it uncomfortable. She didnt make the complaint. Nobody who was there made a complaint. if you break it down, i took a picture of the two of us smiling. all you can see is her head and my head looking down. If an mimicking an idea is sexual harassment then pretty much everybody in England would be on benefits. The manager who made the complaint heard about it out of context. The woman in question often jokes around in similar ways with all of the staff. Everybody jokes around like this. The incident was in no way sexual. To pick an isolated incident out like this and crucify the person is simply wrong. and yes..you did judge
  23. Emmzzi, without being disrespectful ..i could tell you have been affected by something at work without actually knowing. Having looked at your profile i see that you have taken time off and your case was thrown out. I think using me as a punching bag really isnt fair. Its just the internet but..you know..its still real
  24. Well if this is the case. i could bring a sexual harassment case against 90 percent of the department. Life doesnt work like that
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