Am I right to request contribution

[morphster1983]

Hi There,

 

Been green when it comes to what I can and cant do so just hoping for general impartial advice.

 

My Ex has moved into a new house with her new partner (8 weeks after leaving me and our children in the family home)

 

I currently have the children with me and it's all going through a court so clearly unable to go into the level of details however it's been ordered that our youngest child spends all day with mum 3 days per week.

 

The night before the first day of contact I received a call from her requesting that I pack nappies, wipes, toys & spare clothes for our child.

 

I requested that she too also provides for our children but got the response "I don't get any money for them anymore you do so you need to provide the things that I require for when I have them"

 

This to me doesn't sound right. She currently works during the evenings and her new partner does not work but surely I'm within my rights to ask for her to either pay money to me towards the upbringing of our children or at the very least provide the basics when she has our children over for contact??

 

I just wanted someone to give me some impartial advice on how to proceed with this. Clearly I've took to here as I'm not in a financial position myself right now to fund a legal adviser.

[unclebulgaria67]

Hi There,

 

Been green when it comes to what I can and cant do so just hoping for general impartial advice.

 

My Ex has moved into a new house with her new partner (8 weeks after leaving me and our children in the family home)

 

I currently have the children with me and it's all going through a court so clearly unable to go into the level of details however it's been ordered that our youngest child spends all day with mum 3 days per week.

 

The night before the first day of contact I received a call from her requesting that I pack nappies, wipes, toys & spare clothes for our child.

 

I requested that she too also provides for our children but got the response "I don't get any money for them anymore you do so you need to provide the things that I require for when I have them"

 

This to me doesn't sound right. She currently works during the evenings and her new partner does not work but surely I'm within my rights to ask for her to either pay money to me towards the upbringing of our children or at the very least provide the basics when she has our children over for contact??

 

I just wanted someone to give me some impartial advice on how to proceed with this. Clearly I've took to here as I'm not in a financial position myself right now to fund a legal adviser.

 

If you receive child benefits and were providing these things when you had the youngest child over 7 days, you should provide some of the things for the 3 days. But i think it is right that she also contributes towards the childcare for the 3 days.

 

Not sure it would go in your favour if you did not assist with this, but she also needs to help from her income.

[tomtom256]

It's callled maintenance. If the shoe was on the other foot, she would be be asking you to contribute and/or going via CSA or whatever it's called. Child benefit and tax credits don't cover a lot to be fair.

 

Why wouldn't/shouldn't she contribute to help bring her children up?

[Mr.P]

I just wanted someone to give me some impartial advice on how to proceed with this. Clearly I've took to here as I'm not in a financial position myself right now to fund a legal adviser.

 

Can not offer advice on any financial or childcare arrangements. But I would suggest looking to see if you have a local community legal advice centre. We have one near where I live, staffed by solicitors and trained legal advisers that offer free advice on a wide range of issues. Admittedly, they are only open for a few hours per week and appointments are often required.

 

If you are in a union, you might find they also offer legal advice beyond employment law.

[Ros1609]

I can only speak from experience and please bear in mind this is an INFORMAL arrangement, nothing was ordered by the Courts.

 

When I split from my ex husband both our children were in nappies and our youngest still on formula. During his contact (initially 2 hours but it increased) I supplied our children in clothing suitable for the time of year (sunhats, coats, scarves etc), a nappy bag (with enough for one change), bottles for the youngest and the double buggy as he didn't have one. He supplied his own nappies, wipes, cream, spare clothes etc. If he had to change clothes due to an accident then I would wash and return the next week. Now I just send the children with their coats/sunhats etc and he has spare clothes, pull ups for our daughter at night etc

 

If your ex is working then it is reasonable to expect her to provide the things the children would need at her place. Even nappies wouldn't work out to be that expensive as they pack would last her a bit longer

[morphster1983]

Exactly what I thought. As none of us are receipt of cb right now as she is ignoring letters an phone calls from them. Just frustrating to think she's reaping the rewards of time with our children yet supplying nothing

[honeybee13]

Morphster, have you spoken to the CB people?

 

HB

[morphster1983]

Hi there. Spoke with cb they say they have written to her but clearly not at the right address. Gave them her forwarding address an contact number but they say I may have to wait up to 12 weeks to get a payment. In the meantime I'm paying her mobile phone bill to contact our children to which most days doesn't happen but worried about any consequences should I choose to terminate the contract an blacklist the handset. Also she is refusing to provide any money for children and or indeed basics. Only food