Hi there. Spoke with cb they say they have written to her but clearly not at the right address. Gave them her forwarding address an contact number but they say I may have to wait up to 12 weeks to get a payment. In the meantime I'm paying her mobile phone bill to contact our children to which most days doesn't happen but worried about any consequences should I choose to terminate the contract an blacklist the handset. Also she is refusing to provide any money for children and or indeed basics. Only food

Exactly what I thought. As none of us are receipt of cb right now as she is ignoring letters an phone calls from them. Just frustrating to think she's reaping the rewards of time with our children yet supplying nothing

Hi There, Been green when it comes to what I can and cant do so just hoping for general impartial advice. My Ex has moved into a new house with her new partner (8 weeks after leaving me and our children in the family home) I currently have the children with me and it's all going through a court so clearly unable to go into the level of details however it's been ordered that our youngest child spends all day with mum 3 days per week. The night before the first day of contact I received a call from her requesting that I pack nappies, wipes, toys & spare clothes for our child. I requested that she too also provides for our children but got the response "I don't get any money for them anymore you do so you need to provide the things that I require for when I have them" This to me doesn't sound right. She currently works during the evenings and her new partner does not work but surely I'm within my rights to ask for her to either pay money to me towards the upbringing of our children or at the very least provide the basics when she has our children over for contact?? I just wanted someone to give me some impartial advice on how to proceed with this. Clearly I've took to here as I'm not in a financial position myself right now to fund a legal adviser.

gyugyuuy

In response to previous posts I wanted to give an update on the situation to date This week commencing alone mum had text Sunday lunchtime stating she wasn't feeling too good and tired so could she come tomorrow instead and take children out for tea Arrived on the Monday very emotional and asked if she could see children in the home as she didn't have much money. Drove her and children to McDonalds and back within 30 minutes she ordered a taxi and went Text me Tuesday after lunch to say could she see Children wednesday as she was going to sort her new house today. Agreed to this Text me yesterday (Wednesday) at gone 2pm stating she couldn't come as she was feeling unwell and she would come today Called me today to ask for my landlords details to relay to new property. Briefly asked how our poorly son was but no mention of a visit today When children are speaking to mum at evenings to say goodnight the odd occasion she does call her new man is in the background and this is off putting for our children. Mum dismisses this Also our son took poorly last weekend and was admitted to hospital. I called her to advise her of this and explained my parents had our other 2 children at my home whilst I took our other child to hospital. She asked if I wanted her to be at the hospital I gave her to choice. She called me at the hospital later that evening saying she was worried and should she come out of work to come up. I again gave her the option. Sunday evening she called to say goodnight to the children and gave me a torrent of abuse on the phone whilst the children were with me saying I didn't give her to option to come to sit with other two children nor be at the hospital. Clearly my children heard all this before I terminated the call after telling her I wasn't going to be spoken to like this especially in front of our children. She was a ten minute walk away from my house on Tuesday sorting out her new house when she told me she'd seen me as she was waiting by the bus stop. My thoughts are "She knew our child had been and is poorly but didn't offer to come and visit to see how he was. No instead she got a bus that goes past the end of my road to go back where she was going By the time we go back to court next month it'll have been 8 weeks the children have lived with me full time and feedback from neighbours, friends, family is that I'm doing really well which is keeping me going. I'm just scared that she could walk into the courtroom and take our children back off me for half of the week when clearly she's had no more than 8 hours with them since she walked out of the door 23/8

Hi There, Another broken promise today for my children. Mum was supposed to be taking them swimming today. Changed her mind last night and said they were going to grandparents to a text just before lunchtime to state she was tired after working all night and didn't feel too good. Youngest son last night took ill to which he needed to be reviewed by hospital. I spoke with mum to inform her and to state children were with my parents at the family home whilst I took him up. Kept her in touch regarding his condition. My mum got a nasty text around lunchtime today saying things like she needs to get her tested and to encourage me to get her to come look after her children. Things are getting silly now and ex believes the only thing on the court order is that the children reside with me until we go back to court. Which is wrong. Not getting what I would consider reasonable notice of coming to take children out. When I asked her last night what time she said she didn't know. Clearly I'm making notes and documenting everything. Children were over the moon this week coming home from school stating they had 100% attendance so far. When I questioned why they wouldn't have they said mum used to keep them off at times when I'd left for work early. Surely I can't just sit back and not bring this up before the judge. Also my son's injections, the broken promises. All's I'm trying to do is do right by my children and keep them happy and when we know mum is not due to come over everything is so relaxed. When we know she's due to come for a visit everyone including me becomes stressed out. Just don't feel all this is fair. Next date before court really can't come quick enough

The main issue is that we have a court order that states contact with the respondent will be with the respondent alone. Yet mum will text night before requesting to take our children our with his children. Not on our agreed day or times. Yet she is branding me as unreasonable

Hi Guys. Ex partners sister has now decided blood is thicker than water and piling on pressure to me to agree to shared custody of our three children. My concerns are my eldest last night said at 9pm said this is the 4th time in a week mum hasn't phoned to say goodnight. Also visit yesterday was for no more than 30 minutes. At least 20 of this our children were out playing in the street with friends and little interaction with our youngest. I need to go back to work soon to keep my job and therefore wanting to put youngest back into a nursery. I did my research and have decided to place him in a near by one. He likes the setting and I believe it would benefit his development mixing with children his own age. Mum's objecting to this as she works nights and would like to have him instead. The fact the court order says contact will be with the respondent alone suggests that she will take him to her new man which isn't allowed but my son doesn't have a voice. I've advised her that regardless of her thoughts on this he will be attending the nursery. I'm not requesting any financial support from this. I will be 4 weeks tomorrow since mum departed and I've done my best to maintain a healthy balance for our children and doing fun things. I guess I'm just scared despite the fact that I've done my best with the support of my parents to make this house a home and caught up with children's hospital appointments and the fact that she takes our children out for a small amount of time each time yet can spend all afternoon with new man and his kids I feel she can turn back up next month and the judge will side with her regarding shared custody as she's the mother. The fact is though many of broken promises to the children and they have a family home here along with a close circle of friends and school within a few minutes walk I don't feel its fair the children should be uprooted from all this.

The main issue around everything on the entire separation is that the ex decided it was over I had no inkling that anything was wrong and me and our children where perfectly happy. I just don't see how the ex can expect to after 2 months of leaving the family home with me and our children behind she can expect to turn up and say she wants our children back for half of the week. Her new man also has three children so my thoughts are they would be staying over as well and I don't wish for my children to be sharing beds. More so the fact they have a bed each at the family home. School is minutes away from the home and they have a close circle of friends who they get on with really well. I don't believe it's fair for that to be unsettled just because mum decided she wants to go behind dad's back and leave our children in my care 24/7 for 2 months to expect the judge to just agree to this.

Hi Guys to everyone who has given advice so far thank you very much. Just a bit of an update around the situation. Ex Partner arrived Sunday to take all three children out as per agreement with court. Humiliated daughter as she thought the clothes she was wearing was unacceptable. As father I didn't see an issue but mum insisted she go an get changed. Pulled me aside to ask about daughters referral letter to clinic and wondered why I hadn't spoke to her about it. Bearing in mind i never got the letter until Saturday PM and hadn't read it properly myself as yet. Also given the fact Son's immunisations letter was found under the couch unopened clearly she didn't have the maternal instinct before she left. Children insisting that they stay with me at the family home however unable to guarantee this at this time as although CAFCAS involved unknown if they will speak with my two eldest. My parents have been a wealth of support coming around to help me in getting the house more of a home following ex's sudden departure. Ex's parents not even contacted once to enquire how grandchildren are. When she's out with the children she is mentioning her new man and his kids and saying when they get there own place they can go live with her half of the week (Bearing in mind she's told eldest daughter they only got together when she left 3 weeks ago!!!!) Yet Eldest daughter from her new man's daughter that this has been going on for some time. Ex called children tonight to say goodnight and took a sudden interest into my recent health concerns about myself. Also text out of the blue to ask if children settled and asked if I was ok. Can't get my head around her mentality or intentions. Any more thoughts please let me know!

Hi there. Sought a court order so ex can see our children but 121 without her new man or his siblings. Also on the order is that children to be returned to family home. Another hearing end of next month. EX starts a new job tonight working nights an has told judge she is looking for a new home. Cafcas involved. Hoping they will talk to our children as they have expressed to myself an neighbours that they wish to stay here. I can provide for them financially an emotionally an have reduced working houra to accommodate a routine for children. New partner has three children don't like the idea of my children sharing beds

Wow thanks for the advice. Just on this cam I apply for order without mediation?

Hi Guys - Unable to delete a previous thread I created which seems to have become stale I've created this fresh one with all relevant details to date: Ex-Partner came in from a "night out" early hours 23/8 and said relationship over as just not happy since then little snippets are coming that she's had a new man on the go for 6 months meeting up with our children with him to play at regular intervals Lost her job through gross misconduct 24/8 Left family home and now residing between her new man's house and friends house consistantly breaking promises to our 3 children of activities and trips out as well as baking cakes when she arrives her to visit constantly on her mobile phone texting harrassing me daily to lend her money/collect her to bring her to see our children Verbally/Text agreed to taking two children at a time and leaving one in the family home now going back on her word Eldest daugther very critical of her mum's action but won't say anything as she's "scared" Scared she will get cross with her/me Daughter wants me to buy her a phone (she's 9) to take the Zoo on Saturday as she is wary incase mum takes them back to new mans house Daughter expressed wishes for mum to be alone last weekend. Mum arrived last weekend with her new man's kids. Kids very unsettled with arrangements Despite the confession of a new man in her life I've never restricted access or contact with our children. Did stress that every day was becoming too much as kids needed a stable routine. This natuarally didn't go down to well. As she no longer has a job she's rapidly ran out of money and therefore unable to pay for bus fair to come see our children. I I feel I'm now being harrassed yesterday and today to lend her money or collect her to come and see her children. She's 4 miles away. Eldest states "Why can't mummy walk to see us?" I don't discuss Mum in a negative way around the children as I don't believe this is right way. I've changed tenancy agreement to just my name, applied for tax credits, child benefit & housing benefit as well as reducing my working hours to be around for when the children finish school. The children very rarely speak about her and we are just living day to day life normally however they are anxious knowing what Mum's agreed by stating two will go one will stay behind because Mum told them this and now she's "sick of me dictating and she's taking all three and will be back by 7pm" Clearly I want to act within the law but I'm concerned for my childrens welfare being in mum's care on Saturday given her recent erratic behaviour and already breaking promises and agreements. Her new man has children too who don't reside with him so as she's no fixed address my natural assumption is that she would return them back to me by 7pm like she's agreed however given the lies told to me to date the trust isn't there. I've suggested mediation however she said she can't afford it and doesn't want to go down any legal route and wants to agree between us. My concern is that she's already going back on what we've verbally agreed already. 9 year old asking me to buy her a mobile phone for Saturday so I can track where she is so if Mum doesn't bring them home I'll know where she is to enable me to collect. Any advice on this would be greatly appreciated.

Hi and thanks to everyone who has contributed to this thread so far. I've got myself a little confused. I'm hoping when I outline in short points what's happened to date someone with experience can help me further Told me relationship was over 23/8/2015 - Due to no longer being happy. Explained we couldn't live together any longer she agreed to go Been coming to family home almost every day since to see the three children. Two of them always wanting to be out playing. Little boy not walking yet but she just sits on mobile phone and very little interaction. Desparate for money she's asking every day if tax credits have come through and will i lend her some as she's got nothing Wanting me to lend her money to take our girls to play with new mans kids in the park. I objected but her response was that they've met and played previously (clearly behind my back when they were sleeping together) Came here today and asked to take two girls out tomorrow to local park. Youngest daugther asked if they would be alone mum replied yes. She's today asking to take our girls to the park tomorrow and asked my eldest daughter if she minded if her new man's kids came along to play as they've played before (preassumeably behind my before she ended things and left leaving me with our children) Told children she would call them at a specific time and didn't Tidying up after her departure I found an unopened immunisation letter addressed to both of us reference our son's injections. Failed appointment. Got a call from Health Visitor as he's now 16 months and hasn't had his 12 month review I've spoken with a solicitor who advises to let sleeping dogs lie right now as the longer she is away the better chance I will have of residency. She's told my eldest daughter today when I was upstairs and my daughter was asking questions that her and her "friends" are friends and nothing more. She's also told her that she has been sleeping at his house. I feel I'm being more than reasonable to state I don't want my children around him given the nature of the breakdown between us. My daughter has sent mum a text this evening telling her she wants to go out with her tomorrow but she does not want ***** there. Or his kids. Now I know on face value it will annoy her but there my daughters words and she is prepared to tell mum this herself. I've been more than reasonable with visitation. She's been here almost every day and i've never objected this. I've said when she takes the children out she leaves one of them here due to trust issues. Any advice further would be greatly appreciated

Leakie - I dont follow what you mean around the child benefit and doctors bit. Bit more of development. She has now rocked up requesting I borrow her money to take our two girls out at the weekend with her new man and his kids. She tells me she will explain to the children that they are friends. I did contact her stating I think she was being unreasonable and she should show more respect for our children given the way she ended the relationship to not ask to take them to meet up with them together so soon. The children are adjusting to my routine I've laid out and I don't want that broken. Still has no money and no fixed address living with new lovers parents I'm told. The children are sceptical to go with her because they want to spend time with her and not him or his children. I dont believe I'm being unreasonable

Leakie - The issue at the minute is not around taking the children away from myself and the family home but its about taking them out when she visits. Hence why i've said she can take two and leave one to which i have a take with her agreeing. The concern I have is her new found love pulling her strings. When she comes to visit here she is really polite and sincere and full of apologies for what she has done. When she leaves here she is really short and cold towards me and making plans and changing them. For example we'd arranged to go to a friends birthday party today to which we did and I requested she come early this morning. Due to the weather she backed away and said she would come around bedtime which was no good as I'm getting the children into a routine. The children don't ask for her probably because towards the end she was always out anyway and they understand that I want to readjust to routine. She has promised to call the children to say good night and failed twice. I don't try and defend I simply state they should ask mum when they see her. Is there any way of getting a temporary order to state the children reside at the family home with me given the circumstances as she has no fixed address, no job and no money. She had been meeting up with the new man with our children unbeknown to me throughout the last few weeks and they were hurt to learn mum has left dad to be with him so I'm sure you can understand why I'm asking these questions. I've always maintained to her that she can see the children whenever she would like to and she has always agreed the children reside with me. I've spoke with the health visitor today regarding my 16 month old son to have his 9-12 month review as I found letters hidden in the drawer requesting to see him. I've also rearranged his immunisations as again letters were hidden. As far as i'm concerned I'm trying my best to rearrange child tax credits, child benefit and housing benefit. I just believe the children would be better with me as I can provide for them when she clearly hasn't when she was suspended from work and off sick and maternity leave. I just want what's best for my children and the fact that mummy is very rarely mentioned in the house stands to reason that they are used to having dad around more than mum. Visiation has not and will never be an issue its the fact of taking all 3 out at once which concerns me given the circumstances. Thanks for all the advice so far.

Thanks for the feedback so far an support. Am I right to assume as she has no fixed abode an her recent erratic behaviour I'm entitled to insist one of the three children stay with me until we get things arranged legally. Your right about the diary which I will do tonight. I'm now getting one word texts now saying okay. Weather she has plans up her sleeve or she knows the way she's done things has been wrong.

Hi Guys, Thanks for the messages back. Just an update as to what is going on now: She did come back last Thursday and refused to leave. She stayed the thursday night and friday night then went again and has been back daily to visit the children for no more than 2 hours per day and happily leaves again. Since last Saturday she's promised the children all four nights she would ring at 7:30 to say good night. Twice this hasn't happened. Not wanting to be bitter towards there mother I've just said they would have to ask her why she didn't call. She was paid child benefit today to which she took 2 of our 3 children out and spent around £40 on both of them. She came back constantly texting on the phone whilst here and not wanting to interact with the children. The 2 eldest prefer to be out playing on the front garden despite me encouraging them to spend time with their mother. She will text every morning anytime between 9am and 11am requesting to see our children. I've always maintained she can see the children whenever she would like to. I have today made it clear that I've plans for our children tomorrow afternoon so I would prefer her to come earlier tomorrow so we can carry out our plans. when she called them this evening it sounded like she was in a pub. Tenancy agreement now soley in my name and not hers. Child tax credits changed to my name in a single claim and awaiting a child benefit claim form to come through. My concern is that she may realise the error of her actions or new boyfriend will kick in her into touch and then she will come back and try to take children from me. I've worked damn hard these last few weeks whilst she's decided to leave and worked just as hard for months previous to this when she was clearly doing things behind my back to which she has confessed. She has conceeded to me already verbally that she will leave the children in the family home until she gets a new job and home but this was followed up by a text stating "I feel you will use anything against me to take the kids off me if/when I get myself sorted" I've never suggested anything of the sort. Depressed......... ........ She had nothing to feel depressed about. 3 Beautiful children, nice home, car, job, partner who doted on her (me) told her how much she meant to me daily and even till the bitter end I was always getting texts saying how much she loved me. Just don't know which path to take from here as if I'm honest bringing up three children on my own is difficult but at the same time I'm loving every minute of it I dont have the money to pay out for solicitors

***UPDATE***UPDATE***UPDATE*** My ex partner has decided to show up again today to see the children. Sat on phone all afternoon whilst kids out playing with friends. Not interested in coming in to spend time with mum. Now tonight's come and she's no where else to go. Apparently I can't make her leave. Her name is still on the tenancy agreement. I just need to know what my rights are. I'm currently lying in bed with our 3 children whilst she's downstairs on the couch. It's my intention to meet with the landlord tomorrow to sign a new tenancy agreement in just my name. I take it then I have a right to have her removed. The reason why I suggest I want to remove her from the house is that she disrupted the house last week by accepting my request to leave the house. She's been gone since last Sunday and has been making daily visits to see the children. Even when she's here she doesn't spend time with the children she's on the phone texting all the time. She's arrived tonight saying she's no where else to go and she needs to be with her kids. My points are: When together she rarely put children to bed. I did when came home from work No paitence for children. Always glued on phone Now she's decided it's over she's trying to nice but making sly gestures to goad a reaction Whilst you all will say that doesn't make a bad mother she's conceeded the way she's done all this is totally unacceptable but insists she wants to be close to her kids. I did say should of thought about that before going. I would like her to leave sooner rather than later however I've a feeling she would go to her fathers who has a large but crowded house. Would I be within my rights to deny her that? I've had the children since last Sunday on my own day and night and we've constructed a really effective routine and I don't want this disrupted like I feel it is already and it's only Night #1

I'm after some advice. My partner of 12 years walked out on me and our 3 children last Friday evening saying she was no longer happy with me. Didn't elaborate on the reason as to why she was not happy. I explained that if we were no longer together then we couldn't live together she immediatley offered to go. And did..... first few nights she would go out and come back early hours and sleep on the couch. Now she's gone all nights. She does come back everyday to see the children but prefers to spend most of the time with the kids out the way and us talking but going round in circles. I left them alone this evening while I went out for a short time so they could spend time together. I dropped her off at her friends house this evening. She wants to go out alot more of late to friends drinking Texting another man but swears on kids lives they are just talking and he's offering support I come in the house she's been going out Saying yes to children. Anything for an easy life No house tidying I have asked her again today where all this is going and she claims she does not know what she wants from life. At a work meeting yesterday she was instantly dismissed for Gross Misconduct. Although the hurt has been done I guess i'd take her back. She now has no fixed address and is staying with random friends on random nights, no job and no money. I worry for her. I've agreed to allow her to take children out despite no fixed address on the condition she brings them back to me at the end of the visit until she gets settled with a new place then we can discuss more permanent arrangements. I've also kindly requested that as I know my children have been with this man to play with his kids also from a broken relationship that whilst she still doesnt know what she wants from life could she refrain from meeting up with him and his children as I don't my children to become confused. Clearly as she's gone I've started a new tax credits claim and as tenancy agreement is due on 1st September 2015 the landlord has agreed to put it just in my name. Has anyone got any good advice for me as I still believe the reason why she's willingingly become detached from the family home is because perhaps she has done something with this new man whilst still together and now she is struggling knowing that. I've encouraged her to talk to her father whose wife walked out on them many years ago too leaving 6 children behind but she is very wary of doing this. I really don't want to lose my children because since last Friday we've got a really good daily routine going and the children are happy. Any advice would be welcome

Whilst I appreciate I've come here to help my initial thoughts on the whole MCOL saga is that I owe the money. I can't defend a claim knowing that I owe the money and they would have proof of this therefore I admitted to the amount owed. Foolishly I didn't scan the form online before I acted but yes i've shut the gate after the horse has bolted however I was after general advice based on other experiences to see if anyone has expereince with this and can the courts demand my partners income if his name is on the contract although he's not signed it and the MCOL claim form is in my name only

Yes on the claim form I put all family expenses on the claim form and divided into half and put that down. I signed the nursery contract. Although my partners name is on the contract he didnt sign anything. They have: --> Both names on the contract with my signature --> My name on MCOL Form and not partners Guess the answer I'm looking for is: Can the judge demand to see partners income if my name is only on the MCOL form despite payments to nursery coming from Partners account

Partners name was on the contract but there is only the court order in my name. I dont so understand where he/she can take into account my partners salary if the claim is made against me and not both

Admitted the claim because she does owe the money so even if we defended it the evidence is stacked against us. Anyone got an answer to my previous points?

Thanks for that. Just with them saying they have proof that payment have been made to them via my bank account and they will send this evidence to the courts as they've told them verbally about this was wondering whether when it reaches court will the claimaint be able to obtain more money the fact we live together or can the judge only obtain money from the defendant. Guess what I really want to know is: --> My name is not on the claim form however it was on the contract that my partner signed when son joined nursery. Partners signature not mine. --> Claimaint states that they have proof payments have been made with my bank account and not partners they will tell them my partner has not disclosed truthfully her income and expenditure. Now we added partners wage up and spilt all bills equally 50/50 and it turned out we could pay £50 per month. They state they intend to counterclaim as they want payment in full. Just wanted to know can I be brought into this in anyway or are they just trying scare tactics before it gets to court? Thanks