Re: adhd/autism

[mrsc]

thank you Maybelline.

[morteee]

The National Autistic Society - Home

 

Hi mrsc, do have a read round the nas website, they have lots of great info and will help you identify what is good advice and what is just subjective rubbish which unfortunately still abounds on this subject, good luck.

 

was just about to dig that link out!

 

they are a fantastic organisation

[mrsc]

Yes I have had a read around,there is so much helpful information on there.The Occupational Therapist is coming out to see us tomorrow so I will you know how I get on.

 

Thanks all Mrs c

[maybelline]

thats great mrsc, the thing to remember is there are different schools of thought on autism, what it is, what is best to do to support, and this tends to come from the different models of disability, i.e. medical or social. old fashioned ways of thinking, (the parents to blame) can also be subconsciously at work no matter how well trained professionals are depending on their own upbringing - the more you know the better equiped you will be to ask for support and also not have the wrong kind of support pushed on to you, I harp on about this because it can make all the difference in autism, support has to be finely tuned so to speak, best wishes:)

[mrsc]

Occupational therapist came out last week,all went well.

 

Had his first assessment on his own yesterday, and he is going back to finish it in a couple of weeks.

 

He was a bit happier with himself when he came out, that's the first time he has had to go in on his own, and Rachael seemed pleased.

 

 

Sorry about this post being short but having a lot of bother at the moment regarding my daughter (23) she is being harassed and threatened with violence, and it's really getting to me today, I have just got her back to herself after suffering from depression but that's another long story, now she is so scared and considering leaving ( to god knows where)

 

I am sorry to post this here.

[maybelline]

mrsc, thats great that it went well, bookworm is absolutely spot on, you just dont know what could be upsetting him, remember it is ok to be upset, think of the last time you slammed the car door or tutted in a queue, it is more pronounced for many of the spectrum, you are doing fine. re your daughter, dont worry, believe it or not, the lows get better with time even if you do nothing, work out what you can realistically do and thats enough, as parents we seem to be continually in 'help' mode but if you get too down yourself you will be no good to anyone most importantly yourself,

so have that cuppa and take five, best wishes.

[mrsc]

Thanks Maybelline,

 

I think I am trying to be strong all the time they are around, when they are all out, it gets me down.

[groovycaz]

Hi mrsc,

Im catching up with whats been happening in the last few weeks, (been a bit poorly) Im pleased to see your sons coping well, I see from your posting your having worries over your daughter, they dont get any easier as they get older,my oldest son 28 has been a nightmare, for the past 10 years weve been through the drink and drug thing (not hard drugs, he is'nt a drug addict) more recreational, but mixed with alcohol ive seen him in some right states through out his late teens and recently he split with his girlfriend of 5 years so went off the rails a bit, but seems to have sorted himself out now, well till the next time!! he is very respectfull to me and no doubt hides a lot so I dont worry and I probably dont know the half of what hes up to, but I speak to him most days and for the last few weeks hes been fine, I worry that because my Mother was an alcoholic he will turn out the same way, but really hes nothing like that just has a blow out every now and then, at 28 its time to get your act together, well thats what I told him a cuple of weeks ago and he seems to have, (I hope) Life before children eh, wish I was 18 again:D Id be a bugger:D Gc

[mrsc]

Thanks for that groovycaz,

 

So to hear you have been poorly,hope you are feeling better now:)

Kids eh !!!!. She got her own house when our one was repossessed 4 years ago she was seeing a nice lad but they were just too young, then she started going out with another guy he was controlling,verbally,physically and mentally abusive managed to convince her to get out,but it took it's toll on her,she ended up with a broken shoulder months off work and getting deeper in debt, got her to give up house and move back home, she got new job and has been doing great until all this, this problem flairs up every now and again, but just seems worse this time, she has been threatned with all sorts, and they are the type to carry it out, all over a boy just because she spoke to him !!!.

 

Why don't they listen to us eh,just like when we listened to our folks when we were that age:rolleyes:

 

I am sure it will blow over til the next time but can't help but worry.

 

Don't think I could handle being 18 again:o

[groovycaz]

Hi mrsc,

how are you today, hope your daughter got her problems sorted out, its a pity you were not nearer, I could have asked my son to be seen around your local pubs with your daughter, As friends of course, and then those silly girls might not have seen her as a threat any more thinking she had a new fella, just a thought..Gc

[mrsc]

thanks groovycaz,

 

Nice of you to ask, things took a turn for the worse on Wednesday, she was working in shop on her own when she noticed the girl that has been making all the threats coming towards shop with 2 others,she panicked ran to back of shop and locked herself in and called the police. So now it is in the hands of the local police who are coming to see us this weekend.one of the women is in her fourties,the other is on bail for assaulting someone else.So just have to wait and see what is going to happen now.

Good idea about your son:) (although daughter has sworn herself off men for the moment, well until next week at least)

Don't know if I am coming or going at the moment to be honest just so worried about her.

But saying that she is determined not to let them ruin any more of her life.

[groovycaz]

One of the womens in her 40s, shocking, whay kind of a society do we live in when we have 40 odd years old woman threatening young girls, these people are ****, I live sort of over the road and a little around the corner from a pub which attracts all kinds, nearly every weekend they are fighting outside, my hubby looked out the window 1 night after we were woken, and 2 girls were fighting over the bonnet of my car, dragging each other by the hair, over my car, we didnt even bother going out, mind that was when I had an old shed of a car, my new 1s pulled into the yard now. some women are worse than men, men fight it out then its over and done with, but some girls and women are very bitchy and wont let anything go, I hope she gets its sorted out soon..Gc

[mrsc]

Hi GC

 

I know it sickens me at her age she should know better, but she is well known for it and gets away with it cos no one will be a witness against her,they are all too scared,but she will pick on the wrong person some day.

I have seen programmes on the telly were girls are tearing chunks out of each other,it's disgusting.I hate seeing women fighting.

 

My daughter has a nice circle of friends,they are all trying to keep their eye on her,making sure she is not on the own when she is out etc, I know that it's not possible 24 hours a day tho. Just have to hope that now the police are involved it might make them back off.

[mrsc]

Hi Just thought I would update,

 

Feeling really good at the moment,just back from sons 3rd year parents evening he is doing really well his grade have gone up in Physics and Chemsitry and both teachers are really pleased with him his English teacher was off sick but have positive feedback from Maths also that's all the appointments he managed to get.

 

I also spoke to his guidance teacher who says over all, all his teachers are pleased with his progress and that he seems to be gaining a wee bit of confidence. So feeling very good tonight,they have a points system and he has gained a few points.

 

There is someone from the Mental Health Unit going into the school for a day to sit in some of his classes (no one else will know what he is there for) and he will write a report,we also have another appointment with Occupational Therapist beginning of Feb.

 

During the holidays he went to see the Speech Therapist,who at the moment is holding off doing an assessment as she feels he is going through enough at this time,she feels he might not even need help but will wait for the report and see just what help they are going to give him.

 

[Bookworm]

It's so good when things happen that way, isn't it? I'm really glad to hear he is doing well, let us know what the mental health person says.

[mrsc]

Hi Bookie,

 

Feel so good I could have skipped out of that school tonight,if only I hadn't worn new shoes that was killing me:(

[Bookworm]

 

I hope you don't say thing like that in front of your lad, you'll scare the hell out of him!

[mrsc]

Oh no I wouldn't do that to him:o

[maybelline]

hi, mrsc, great to hear you had some good news:)

[mariejader]

That's fantastic news MRSC, I hope you had a celebration in your house last night.

[mrsc]

Hi all,

 

Just thought I would update,finally got the diagnosis Aspergers Syndrome,came away with a load of info to read,have to go back next week to discuss what we want to do from here.

[maybelline]

you must feel releived to at last know how to proceed, well done:)

 

the hardest thing next is to identify in what way AS affects your child/young person as each is unique, however, its just a matter of watching, dont assume everything in the textbook will or will not happen. good luck.

 

oh and another you wont often hear about, dont let the latest special interest be AS itself! this will mask what is really going on, what can and cannot be achieved, best wishes.

[Bookworm]

SO glad you got there. A lot of people don't want their child "labelled", I found it invaluable for me, my child and to get him the help he needed.

 

Have you thought on how you want to proceed from there? Don't forget to apply for DLA and Carer's Allowance if you haven't yet. Find out if there is an AS support group in your area, NAS might be able to help.

 

Any questions, any guidance, or if you want some pointers on reading matters, just holler.

[honey5]

what a relief for you all its an emotional roller coaster it truely is, you dont want to hear that "label" no one does, i cried for days after Jack got his diagnosis at almost 7 yrs old (oddly something id fought for too) It answers alot of questions it explains alot of "the unknown" for everyone involved .

Im at the minute trying to get a diagnosis for his twin sister, who is fortunately or unfortunately at the other end of the scale from the little fella. Shes very clever, very clever indeed but emotionally detached and boy what a fight im having with this one

hope all goes well for you and yours from here on in

tracy x

[Bookworm]

you dont want to hear that "label" no one does

Couldn't disagree more. I did. It allowed me to go back to the school and tell them that no, it wasn't me being an over-protective/bad parent, it wasn't Tristan being "naughty" or "choosing" to misbehave, no, sending him to a PRU wasn't going to help, no, he couldn't function in a mainstream school, yes, they were discriminating against him, oh, and yes, I was RIGHT all along, etc, etc...

 

The label opened every door that until then was closed because I was being dismissed out of hand. The problem with my child was already there. The label was necessary to get him the help.