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Vivi
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I have been living with an unemployed man for two years. He is in receipt of no benefits and I work paying all the bills etc. Because he has no income he started to grow drugs in the house and I believe he may be selling outside of the property. We are in social housing property and I am not on the rent book. He has promised to put me on and then withdraws his offer as a way of controling me. The police have come on a number of ocassions for domestic violence reasons. I have told him that I dont want this to continue and he blackmails me saying if I inform the police or housing we will both be out, I will be homeless because I am not on the rentbook. He said he will deny everything and say it is me growing the drugs. Three days ago it came to a head and I set out to the police station to make a statement in the early hours. I fell downstairs and broke my leg and am now at his 'mercy'. I want to do the right thing and report him but I am scared of being out on the streets. I pay all my bills on time will the housing look on me favourably under these circumsances and just remove him pending a police prosecution?

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Hi Vivi

 

I am so sorry for the situation you find yourself in at present I am sure the caggers will be along to give you their wisdom so please be patient.

 

Now you say you have been at the property for 2yrs is the housing association aware of this, do you have anything at all in writing?

 

I know it isn't easy especially with your leg at the moment but do you have any friends, family that you may be able to stay with at the moment.

 

You also mention the police have been involved on occasion but have you ever spoken with their actual Domestic Violence Unit, have a look on the web for your local force and contacts details should be their.

 

This link to womens aid has some information that may be of help:

 

http://www.womensaid.org.uk/default.asp

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I cannot give any advice by PM - If you provide a link to your Thread then I will be happy to offer advice there.

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Hi, the housing association are aware of my occuapancy and I have proof of time in the property as I have records of payment of rent. He recently asked for a form from the housing to put my name on the tenancy and all they requested was proof on utility bills with my name and this address from a year ago. Needless to say he has now refused for me to go on the tenancy. I have a number of incident numbers for DV with the police and have spoken to womens aid on two ocassions. what I really need to know is where I/we stand re going to the police, will I loose the roof over my head? everything I own is in this house.

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Hi

 

Now the records of payment of rent could you please clarify i.e your own account, bank statements, receipts from HA or letter stating your payment in your name to that account?

 

Were the Housing Officer aware you were resident in the property and did they ever visit after the incidents?

 

were you also paying council tax?

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Clarification of my bank account, statements are not a problem. Reciepts from HA re rent payment are via internet - acknowledgements of payment recieved. Housing officers have never attended as I have never informed them of DV incidents or other. In fact he has phoned the housing organisation asking if he can remove me from the property (I feel he does this to unsettle me). They have none of this info and they have said yes (obviously).

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Viv,

 

Have a word with Shelter. http://england.shelter.org.uk/get_advice

 

IMHO, I think you are putting yourself in a very vulnerable position. Not just because of the violence but also as an accessory to the drugs.

 

I see you have already been given a link to Womens Aid. I think you need to make contact with either group as soon as you can. Only you can make choices about your future.

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Viv,

 

Have a word with Shelter. http://england.shelter.org.uk/get_advice

 

IMHO, I think you are putting yourself in a very vulnerable position. Not just because of the violence but also as an accessory to the drugs.

 

I see you have already been given a link to Womens Aid. I think you need to make contact with either group as soon as you can. Only you can make choices about your future.

 

I thank you and others for the time and advice given to me, thank you!

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I thank you and others for the time and advice given to me, thank you!

 

No-one wants to see you or anyone else in this situation but you are the only one who can do something about it. I'm sure it's all easier said than done but it's down to you to actually do something about it. We're all here to help you through it so please please please look at your options and get yourself out of it.

 

It won't be easy but I hope that with support you can do it. Don't allow yourself to be treated this way.

 

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Hi Vivi

 

Thought Id pop in to see how things are going.

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I cannot give any advice by PM - If you provide a link to your Thread then I will be happy to offer advice there.

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Vivi, go and see (or telephone cos of your leg) the housing officer. There are rules in social housing tenancy agreements about use of domestic violence. You are a vulnerable person right now, re the violence and your leg. You will likely find they are duty bound to assist you. There is a good trail of evidence with the police about the violence, but lord only knows what you are going to do about those plants. I think you'd better fess up to it. After all, with your leg in plaster, and being immobile, how on earth are you supposed to be taking a hand in it?

 

I clearly recall a colleagues case some years ago, man and woman, no children, one bed flat. He was the tenant, she was not not. He beat her black and blue regularly. When she found the courage to admit what was going on to my colleague, all hell let loose. I cannot recall, after all these years, which legislation was used, but it ended up with him out of the property, by court order, and the council giving her the tenancy. They weren't married, I suspect an injunction was gained first, by the council, with assistance and evidence from the police, .and then possession would have been gained by breach of tenancy agreement, re the violence. The judge will either have ordered a straight transfer of tenancy to the female, or the council granted it to her after the event. So don;t give up hope.

 

Good luck. X

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I'm very sorry to hear your situation and hope that you get sorted. No person deserves to be homeless and there are plenty of people out there who are willing to help you. Do not be bullied by this person and if you feel that they are doing something wrong then you need to report them to the police as you may be in trouble if they find drugs in the house.

 

The police will also be able to offer you advice and also the citizens advice. Please don't think you are alone in this and i hope you get sorted soon. :)

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