Distress Order Advice Want Belongings Back Off Ex-Partner

[Foundry]

I know this probably won't be what you'd like to hear, but I had to comment because you said it was making your daughter ill. Been in a similar position myself and at the end of the day what you have to remember is that these are only belongings, material things. Yes it's upsetting because the things may be personal and important, but so is her health and her future.

 

You say he is holding on to her things so that he has a 'hold over her life', but he only has as much of a 'hold' as she allows him to have. I suspect that if he were reading this thread right now, he would feel great satisfaction that he is succeeding in making her miserable.

 

I understand the rights and wrongs of this, and how annoying and unacceptable it is for a plonker like this to get away with what he's doing. But for the sake of your girl's health and happiness, maybe it's just one of those times when she has to take it on the chin and move on to more important things like forgetting about this idiot once and for all?

 

Draw the line under it, take the power away from him and put your efforts into being happy again - life's too short

[Laura Cooke]

Yes take on board the comments but my Daughter had a fitted kitchen on finance last year all the house she as left as all new furniture upstairs, it as a dishwasher, fridge/freezer and numerous other things as well as having landscaped the back and front gardens and bought a new shed.

 

My Daughter was walking away and prepared to leave him this ready made home as she had kept this idle man for 10 years hese 36 never ever done a days work was staying in bed till she came home from work, my Daughter as lost more than enough and is very bitter that the few items that she wants that she as paid for he is refusing to part with. Hese had more than he should have had she wants to go to the small claims if it becomes necessary and she intends to claim all that she as purchased if he wants to be unreasonable she as said she will show him that his stupid games will blow up in his face, he could choose to play ball and part with several items she wants or let it end up at the small claims where my Daughter will dismiss being reasonable anymore and will be claiming all the furniture and payment for the fitted kitchen, it`s left with him to have it the easy way or the hard way.

 

My daughter was happy to carry on paying for the fitted kitchen and for him to keep the fixtures and fittings, furniture etc as she as paid for these items, she didn`t want to be cruel and take everything but she isn`t prepared to walk away and let him even have her sentimental things that mean things to her it`s not about money. Hese had enough out of her he isn`t having anymore, I hope hese targeted for work and he`ll appreciate what it feels like to go to work and set up home and to lose everything. When my daughter met him he lived in a bedsit she was young and was head strong she could not see what we could see if she had she`d have saved a lot of money and heartache.

 

I wish my daughter had woke up a lot sooner our family have been trying to tell her for years to ditch this sponger he won the jackpot when he got my Daughter as hese been abroad 5 times out of her and lived the life of Riley and not contributed a penny.

 

Yes easy to move on my Daughter wants justice as hese had it too easy too long she can then call a closure on this wasted 10 years with such a loser.

Edited July 29, 2011 by Laura Cooke

[Foundry]

Yes, I understand the frustration and the desire to get some 'pay-back'/satisfaction etc. All I was trying to say is that it may be a lot easier to get over the loss of some money and possessions (no matter how sentimental) than to get over the effects of a long drawn out and bitter dispute.

 

Out of interest, is she the owner of the house, or named on the tenancy etc etc?

 

I'm just thinking (and others would be better placed than me to advise here, because I could be really, really wrong) that if she has a legal right to enter the house, why not wait until he's out, enter the property by means of a locksmith/sledgehammer etc, and recover your things that way? Notify the police first that you are entering the property as you have a legal right to do, and ask for them to attend with you to prevent a breach of the peace if he returns while you're there. The police have already said it's a civil matter, so surely him arguing that you have no right to enter is also civil?

 

Now, as I said, I could be really wrong about this, so maybe someone not as thick as me could put you right on whether I'm talking complete b****cks or not

[Laura Cooke]

No daughter wasn`t joint tenant know where you are coming from it`s a matter of principle as far as my daughter is concerned incidentally she saw him this evening she pulled up in car and kept her cool and asked what the items are that he alledges are stolen all he would say was " I have been meaning to let Police know your belongings were stolen from outside the house" now bare in mind he alledges goods went near on a month ago, this man is a complete waste of oxygen. He as sponged off my daughter long enough and took advantage of her easy going nature and generosity, the fact she finally woke up as been long overdo, she as hardened and naturally wants him to be taught a lesson that hese not a law to himself and that his arrogance won`t be tolerated by the police and courts.