Dad I Love You So Much

[angel_1]

Hey Pf

 

my thoughts are with you and your family, virtual hugs to you all

 

your family has to come first now above anything else, you have had some good advice so far , im sure the court will amend your court case

 

spend your time with your dad but take care of you too

 

keep the faith

 

hugs angel x

[HSBCrusher]

sorry to hear your bad news PF

 

((()))

[loobyloo35]

sorry to hear your bad news, I know that I do not know you, but I went through a similar thing just before Xmas last year, but my Dad pulled through.

 

I can't begin to imagine what you are going through, but my thoughts are with you at what must be a very difficult and upsetting time x

[kfdh1962]

Hi PF, really sorry to hear your sad news... my heart and thoughts are with you...xx

[banker_rhymes_with]

Hello PF!

 

Every Bootneck I know has had a very strong sense of humour. I am sure your Dad will be no exception. Now is the time to play on that and see him off with a smile on his face.

 

Keep the family happily. Take time to brief them all behind the scenes that they must keep the sadness in check. Concentrate on the smiles and show your Dad a clear demonstration of family bonding. That will settle him no end, and will ease his passing.

 

Plan a Party to celebrate his life, tell him that is what you are going to do. He will understand and approve.

 

I am sure he will not mind one bit that he can't be there, because he'd rather know and see you all bonding and in good spirits, than see everyone sad and depressed with nothing to look forward to.

 

Seeing his family happy and strong will make it all much easier for him, so concentrate on the good times and try to keep a tight reign on the inevitable and wholly understandable sadness.

 

Keep smiling, no matter how hard it may be. That will be the very best thing you can all do for him now.

 

Once he has gone, only then let go and grieve.

 

Once that process has run its course, then pull everyone back and celebrate a great life. He would want nothing less.

 

I do hope this helps, I really do.

 

Cheers,

BRW

[r&b]

best wishes to u, dad and all your (extended) family

[shirei12]

So sorry to hear your sad news.

Shirei XX

 

[hilaryfrances]

I know what you are going through, I made, what I think will be my last visit to see my sister on Tuesday, she is also fading fast due to pancreatic cancer. The hospital told me she was doing OK yesterday morning, they said she had had a shower and was eating some lunch, They told my brotherinlaw the same thing. He arrives thinking a miracle had happened, they had given us the wrong message. There was another lady with a similar name, he was devastated.At least your dad and my sis have people who love them and can keep their memory alive. Many die alone and unloved

[joemay]

Pompey,

 

So sorry to hear your news. We all know that one day we will be saying good bye to our parents, but it doesn't make it any easier.

 

Take care of yourself also, i'm sure it's what your father would want.

 

God bless.

[The GodMother]

Hi PF

 

I know this is not exactly the same but i recently lost my grandad to cancer. it was of the throat near his jugular vein. Really bad they would not operate due to location.

 

He had it 4 years and never maoned. He died in february and was cremated in March. I understand how your feeling but please please dontdo a me and say i will visit him next time iam near by as i was saying that for 4 years and now i wish i had just gone to visit instead of putting it off.

 

make sure u look after yourself and mum as she needs some looking after to.

{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}

[pompeyfaith]

been to see him today i was their a good 6 hrs i felt guilt in that there was nothing i could do but just being there for him made me and im sure him feel better.

 

Today they upped his dose of morphine from 5mg to 40mg as he was in a lot of pain i just hope he can sleep tonight as i know that stuff can give you bad dreams.

 

Me and my close family have a meeting with the consultant and lead nurse tomorrow morning to decide what to do with him.

 

There are 3 options stay at hospital, bring him home, or hospice ive not decided yet as i want to see what the consultant has to say but deep down if they can supply mcmillan nursing id like him to be at home around his family.

 

I know Mc Millan nurses are fantastic as they are trained in that field

 

Anyway ill see what happens tomorrow.

 

Regards

 

PF

 

P.S it goes without saying thank you all it really is helping me to come to terms with all this.

[juliex]

sorry to hear about this, ,we are going through the same but it is inlaws i feel for you and your familly its just so sad, my thoughts are with your familly; xxx

[Brassed off]

PF if you want to talk, CAG is here for you - we are here for you

[pompeyfaith]

Thank You Bo oh and thanks for your kind words last night.

 

i feel better today now that i know he will be in good hands.

 

Regards

 

PF

[alanalana]

Every Bootneck I know has had a very strong sense of humour. I am sure your Dad will be no exception. Now is the time to play on that and see him off with a smile on his face.

 

Keep the family happily. Take time to brief them all behind the scenes that they must keep the sadness in check. Concentrate on the smiles and show your Dad a clear demonstration of family bonding. That will settle him no end, and will ease his passing.

 

Plan a Party to celebrate his life, tell him that is what you are going to do. He will understand and approve.

 

I am sure he will not mind one bit that he can't be there, because he'd rather know and see you all bonding and in good spirits, than see everyone sad and depressed with nothing to look forward to.

 

Seeing his family happy and strong will make it all much easier for him, so concentrate on the good times and try to keep a tight reign on the inevitable and wholly understandable sadness.

 

Keep smiling, no matter how hard it may be. That will be the very best thing you can all do for him now.

 

Once he has gone, only then let go and grieve.

 

Once that process has run its course, then pull everyone back and celebrate a great life. He would want nothing less.

 

I do hope this helps, I really do.

 

Hello PF I am so sorry to hear this news BRW gives some good advice and it certainly helped me when I lost my dad on 12 Feb just a couple of months ago. We had family with him holding his hands, kissing him, talking to him about everything we had done together, thanking him for being Dad. It does help to have family present it is a very difficult time but your dear dad will appreciate you being with him.

 

My thoughts and prayers are of course with you and all of your family.

[pompeyfaith]

Alan my longstanding web friend thank you so much u are a real comfort in these trying times heart felt regards PF

[cymruambyth]

Hi pf, how did you get on with the consultant today?

[ohoh4312]

This thread made me cry, big time. I lost my Mum and my OH's Mum within a year of each other, and it still hurts now. I really feel for you.

 

I wish your Dad the respect and dignity that he so obviously deserves.

 

You, your family and your Father are in my thoughts and prayers.

 

xx > xx

[clemma]

I'm so sorry to hear your news pompey. You and your family will be in my thoughts (((((hugs))))) xx

[pompeyfaith]

Ok we went to see the consultant today and the outcome has changed again and im not sure its a good thing they noticed this morning he had an unusual bump on the right side of his belly and his words where.

 

We need to investigate this although his life expectancy will not improve they want to put a camara down as they think the cancer has spread to his stomach hmmmm what is the point if it will not make him live longer is my thinking surely if he has been given weeks to live regardless of what you do thats not a good thing its time make him comfy without pain

 

Do you agree can you see where im coming from i dont want him to go but its gona happen and nothing will change that im trying to face it the best i can then you come in here and say you want to prod him about more

 

Anyway they want to do it f--- knows why and we will have further discussions on monday once they have the results.

 

Regards

 

PF

[Castlebest]

Do you agree can you see where im coming from i dont want him to go but its gona happen and nothing will change that im trying to face it the best i can then you come in here and say you want to prod him about more

 

If the proceedure they want to do is for their own curiosity or is just something they normaly do but wont have any benifit to your father then tell them no.

 

Your father needs to keep his dignity as much as possible which is very hard in a hospital to start with without them "doing things" to him and you need to be together as much as possible while it is still possible.

[havinastella]

Hi PF,

 

so so sorry to hear about your plight.

 

My Dad died of cancer a few years ago, its the worst thing just watching someone you love so much wasting away.

 

Spend as much time as you can with your Dad, talking about all the little things that make you happy, however trivial they may seem.

 

Hug him and kiss him and be brave.

 

Jogs

[slick132]

Hi PF,

 

Have they not discussed with you The Liverpool Care Pathway. We learned of this last year when we lost my mum.

 

Where the prognosis is short and hopeless, they stop all treatment, food and even liquids. Their only aim is to keep the patient comfortable and pain-free which can be easily achieved by morphine through an auto driver.

 

If it were me, I'd ask them to leave him alone if possible, unless the investigation will improve quality of life.

 

All the best.........

[pompeyfaith]

yes indeed my thoughts also he knows and is happy and come to terms with death in fact he is educating us to cope with it

[pompeyfaith]

they have not as yet instructed us as to the support available