Wife trying to force me out. Help please

[stapeley]

hi, not sure this is right place but the forum has help with debt problem i,ve had . Back ground is i am a house husband and stay at home with daughter , now 6 . Had decking jobs and do have a part time cleaning job . Not had an affair or and thing like that , just grown apart and now errate the s--- out of each other . She claims the house is hers , "i,ve paid for it " . She doesn,t want to see reason and just keeps pushing saying i should do this and do that . But basically i have no money of my own and no where to go . What should i do ?????? The deeds are in her name .But i have bank statement showing most of the deposit went through my account to the solicitor .Long story why that happened . Help what can i do ?

[honeybee13]

Hello there. Im sorry to hear about your problems.

 

You could try your local CAB. If they can't answer all your questions, they should be able to arrange for you to see a specialist solicitor for an initial meeting, either free or at a reasonable price. Make sure they send you to a lawyer who deals with family issues, not someone who sells houses.

 

My best, HB

[PriorityOne]

hi, not sure this is right place but the forum has help with debt problem i,ve had . Back ground is i am a house husband and stay at home with daughter , now 6 . Had decking jobs and do have a part time cleaning job . Not had an affair or and thing like that , just grown apart and now errate the s--- out of each other . She claims the house is hers , "i,ve paid for it " . She doesn,t want to see reason and just keeps pushing saying i should do this and do that . But basically i have no money of my own and no where to go . What should i do ?????? The deeds are in her name .But i have bank statement showing most of the deposit went through my account to the solicitor .Long story why that happened . Help what can i do ?

 

If you can show that you have contributed to the mortgage payments, then you have a claim on the property; whether the Deeds are in her name or not.

 

I'm not sure re. the legal position about her changing the locks while you're out though, as this a is a separate issue.... but one you need to know about as soon as possible! The fact that you're legally married (if I've read that correctly) may prevent her from doing this and it should also give you an automatic interest in the property anyway. Also, if you've been at home as a house-husband then your child will still need to be raised properly in a home environment, so this is another argument. Are you still caring for your child full-time? What does your wife do?

 

If she pushes things too much, she may find that she's the one that has to leave and maintain mortgage payments and child support. It's happened to many men over the years and she'd be foolish to assume otherwise just because she's a woman.

Edited April 11, 2011 by PriorityOne

[stapeley]

Wife works full time and does work away from home sometimes . She takes daughter to school and i collect her make tea etc . I have a part time job and have done handyman jobs . I also did most of the repairs to the house we are now in , i have receipts in my name for loads of materials . Bank statements in my name also show payments sent to solicitor for the deposit paid from my account. She needs a reality check !

[PriorityOne]

Wife works full time and does work away from home sometimes . She takes daughter to school and i collect her make tea etc . I have a part time job and have done handyman jobs . I also did most of the repairs to the house we are now in , i have receipts in my name for loads of materials . Bank statements in my name also show payments sent to solicitor for the deposit paid from my account. She needs a reality check !

 

Ok... make a "fixed fee" appt. with a family law solicitor, as advised earlier and find out your position re. her changing the locks while you're not there and so on. Do not be persuaded to leave the family home because it will weaken your position; although I know what you've already said about needing to stay anyway. If she wants you out, she'll need to bring proceedings herself which are costly... so maybe when the heat's died down, so to speak, you could find an amicable way forward for the sake of your child?

 

Realistically, if you really can't stand the sight of each other and are thinking of seperating/divorcing, then you'll both need to sort out financial arrangments at some point anyway. If she's prepared to buy you out, then at least you could start planning a way forward for yourself. If not, then don't budge.

 

[raydetinu]

Whatever happens you will defo get some of the equity in the house, when sold and it will be sold unless she pays you off.

STAY PUT.

[stapeley]

Why is it she cant see things both ways . Not a great example i know but , she bought a puppy ,"my money " , but who puts it out at night and lets it out in mornings and cleans its mess . Shes never taken it for a walk since shes had it !

[stapeley]

Just got a text from her "why you booked to go to citizen advice ?" thats what i have to put with .

[honeybee13]

Hello again. It sounds as if you have more problems than the legal one, sorry to hear that. If you can, and to keep your sanity, I would try to concentrate on the legal advice for now. You need to know what your options are.

 

Marriage guidance isn't my forte, I'm afraid, but it would be good if you could find someone to talk to.

 

My best, HB

[PriorityOne]

Why is it she cant see things both ways . Not a great example i know but , she bought a puppy ,"my money " , but who puts it out at night and lets it out in mornings and cleans its mess . Shes never taken it for a walk since shes had it !

 

Well if she could, there'd be no problem in the first place and you'd still be happily married.

 

Just got a text from her "why you booked to go to citizen advice ?" thats what i have to put with .

 

None of her business.... I'm assuming you told her about this for her to know about it. For God's sake, don't start telling her your business! You will certainly regret it if you do... If you want to protect your interests, then you'll need to keep your plans private.

[stapeley]

Thanks everyone "its good to talk".

[honeybee13]

Are you seeing the CAB soon, btw stapeley?

 

My best, HB

[Guest jsa12]

you need to be more assertive.tell her you acknowledge her contribution and unlike her selfishness you will help her pack her cases.also acknowledge her contribution financially that she can also provide this to the csa for your daughters upkeep and your maintenance.

[PriorityOne]

you need to be more assertive.tell her you acknowledge her contribution and unlike her selfishness you will help her pack her cases.also acknowledge her contribution financially that she can also provide this to the csa for your daughters upkeep and your maintenance.

 

With respect, that won't help at all....

 

OP needs to see a family law solicitor, find out about his rights re. her possibly changing the locks and then go from there.

[stapeley]

Although theres plenty i would like to do to her , i would never put my feelings before the welfare of my daughter .

[PriorityOne]

Although theres plenty i would like to do to her , i would never put my feelings before the welfare of my daughter .

 

Good man...

 

Please let us know the outcome of your appt.

[wheeliebin]

Just cos she's female doesnt mean you'd be treated any differently than housewives are nowadays - half the assets are yours. Get some divorce advice. Stay put until you've got a legally binding agreement in force.

[raydetinu]

Stapeley; keep going, what doesnt kill you will make you stronger! Most of us have been there and done that, so plenty of experience and advice here.

[stapeley]

She now wants to take over payments that i have been making , boiler insurance , house insurerane .Want them in her name . I only earn £250 from a evening cleaning job so could do with the extra . I pay money to my ex for your 15 year old daughter .I can show previous bank statement showing payments for electric and gas etc so i think shes fretting now .

[PriorityOne]

She now wants to take over payments that i have been making , boiler insurance , house insurerane .Want them in her name . I only earn £250 from a evening cleaning job so could do with the extra . I pay money to my ex for your 15 year old daughter .I can show previous bank statement showing payments for electric and gas etc so i think shes fretting now .

 

On the face of it, I don't see any problem because she'll gain nothing from it other than greater outgoings. However, unless you know what your legal position is re. her changing the locks, this could be the start of something unpleasant.... so, do nothing until you're sure of your position with this.

 

It's hard to know what she's planning without knowing more about your legal position re. locks.... you really do need to know this.

[raydetinu]

all irrelevant in the grand scheme of things.

Even if she changes the locks she cant get you out; unless there is violence involved!!!! It is the marital home and you have every right to be there.

and it seems you cant afford to move out anyway, even if wanted to.

Get advice asap.

[PriorityOne]

all irrelevant in the grand scheme of things.

Even if she changes the locks she cant get you out; unless there is violence involved!!!! It is the marital home and you have every right to be there.

and it seems you cant afford to move out anyway, even if wanted to.

Get advice asap.

 

If the locks are changed.... then the fact is that he will be out.... lol! The legalities involved will be time-consuming and too late...

 

Although it's the marital home, the Deeds are in her name and it's very easy to make an allegation of violence where there is none. OP needs to see a solicitor as soon as possible just in case she decides to play dirty and seek an injunction for something that's not happened.... to try and secure her own position.

[stapeley]

It's hard to know what she's planning without knowing more about your legal position re. locks.... you really do need to know this.

 

I am pretty sure she will not change locks , I am still collecting daughter from school , doing her tea etc . She has a 4 bed roomed house rented out in next town , I've suggested she could rent it to me at greatly reduced rate ! SILENCE was deafening

[raydetinu]

Is Divorce on the cards? if you move to her rented house, there will be even less security.

Seems like she has quite a few assets, which you may have a good claim on.

GET advice. seems like might get lagal aid as you are have no assetts ( yet )

She is not stupid and will realise that you will have good claim on hers.

[PriorityOne]

Is Divorce on the cards? if you move to her rented house, there will be even less security.

Seems like she has quite a few assets, which you may have a good claim on.

GET advice. seems like might get lagal aid as you are have no assetts ( yet )

She is not stupid and will realise that you will have good claim on hers.

 

Agree.... don't move from the marital home. She's probably getting advice of her own by now....