Wife trying to force me out. Help please

[stapeley]

You are so right ! She, in plan English , is being a stroppy cow ! I start to try to put a point across and she rises her voice and says shes not being aggressive . I wish her friends and family could hear her . She has always resented me send money to my ex for care of my other daughter , now age 15 . "you can afford to sent her money , even when we are struggling ." well believe me she has struggled ! , must be hard only having 40 pairs of shoes and countless number of clothes .

[stapeley]

Now found out I,ve lost my cleaning job at the firm where my wifes sales manager . Been there about three years on a self employed basis .I put in a monthy invoice . Was my only source of income ! Really don,t give a s---t any more told her not accepting final offer , and the settlement has gone up .

[raydetinu]

If you were exclusively employed by that firm, even as on a self employed basis, you will find that you will have the most of the rights as an employee.

i.e notice and redundancy?

You need legal advice on this too, speak to acass, they will advise.

[PriorityOne]

I have been through several divorces and can confirm financial contribution by a spouse has NO influence on the split of assets, just the length of time you have been married! and your needs etc. to move on; i.e. deposit for house or flat. ( you will be required to contribute to support child if you are not resident or have equal responsibility in their care )

 

Not in my (not personal) experience.... BUT the spouse who stands to lose does need to fight. No fight; no gain... so in that respect you're right.

We seem to be getting nowhere on this thread though because OP won't see a solicitor.

[stapeley]

Not in my (not personal) experience.... BUT the spouse who stands to lose does need to fight. No fight; no gain... so in that respect you're right.

We seem to be getting nowhere on this thread though because OP won't see a solicitor.

Cann,t afford a solicitor , legal aid will want bank statements etc , which would show a large amount of money going through my account.

Now got a third "final offer " up to £10,000.

[jackieandwayne]

Please wise up and see a solicitor. Be honest with them about this money. From a previous post where "a friend" had money in his account like this, it seems to me that you are both involved in whatever this money is all about. So that says to me that if you have a fear of the law over it so does she. Could well become a bargaining point.

 

This is about your future and your child's future. She is in a better position than you right now (so she thinks) so you need something to equal up the sides, and that is a solicitor. From now on don't have money like this in your account or anything to do with it. If you really are concerned about a solicitor then do as i said previously, your local authority (good with housing but they won;t know what money laundering is i doubt) or Shelter (who would know exactly what has been going on but would never drop you in it.) These are the people you listen to, take their advice, and no-one else. Whats to say you won't get to stay in the house til the girl is 18 and madam has to pay you?

 

But please, do not say this to her or you will find she will grow spikes and it will get worse. Go today and get some legal advice. Youare not going to get into any trouble over this money just by asking for advice. And if eventually you do get into trouble over it, well, thats the way it is and at least it will be out of the way. You just gotta remember what this is really all about.

 

Last bit of practical advice - whatever she says, threatens or does, don't be involved in any mud slinging, don't retaliate and don't threaten. Whatever the pair of you have been up to over this money you are worried about - don;t threaten her over it, but also, when she threatens you (she will) don;t whatever you do let that stop you taking legal advice - because that will be why she threatens you.

 

What a mess, but keep your chin up as best you can and stay focused on the real issue here. Good luck. Your next post will be to tell us you have gone and got some advice i expect hey?

 

If this got into a fight over custody of your little one - think on - as you say, you are the one who stays at home and provides the necessities and the routine for the kid. You have also an excellent track record in reliability in matters of child responsibility as you have regularly paid for your other child. She on the other hand, thinks material things are more important and goes off to work every day. Nothing wrong in that, until you make it wrong in any custody battle (nasty but thats the way it becomes you see).

[Ell-enn]

You should be able to get a one hour free advice session at a local solicitor - ring round some of the local practices and see when they offer these.

[sequenci]

You might be able to seek the help from a law centre:

 

http://www.lawcentres.org.uk/cgi/member_publisher/ldisplay.cgi?centres

[PriorityOne]

Cann,t afford a solicitor , legal aid will want bank statements etc , which would show a large amount of money going through my account.

Now got a third "final offer " up to £10,000.

 

She's flapping...

Some good advice in previous posts..... get that fixed fee appt. arranged a.s.a.p. and we'll help you from there.

[stapeley]

She's flapping...

 

Some good advice in previous posts..... get that fixed fee appt. arranged a.s.a.p. and we'll help you from there.

 

Got to go to housing unit first thing monday morning . Phoned up to sign on as well .Had three final offers now ! Got house to me self this weekend, so can relax , shes off to watch Rugby at Trikkers . On the pull tonite ---party!!!!!!!!

[PriorityOne]

If you move out, you'll lose everything.

 

It's your call though.

[Guest jsa12]

Wives

 

William Blackstone wrote in the 18th century: "The husband also (by the old law) might give his wife moderate correction. For, as he is to answer for her misbehaviour, the law thought it reasonable to intrust him with the power of restraining her, by domestic chastisement.... But, with us,however goes on in the politer reign of Charles the second, this power of correction began to be doubted: and a wife may now have security of the peace against her husband; or, in return, a husband against his wife...

 

the old law is clearly better.you have lost your authority and respect and need to make a stand now,the female is always second role to the male.its the law of the jungle the female surrenders loses its name in marriage and always comes after mr,its a fact the male is top.this would not be tolerated in some cultures.you need to stop this now.

[raydetinu]

What!! No place for that on here, not that sort of site, and not very helpful at all!

[PriorityOne]

Wives

 

William Blackstone wrote in the 18th century: "The husband also (by the old law) might give his wife moderate correction. For, as he is to answer for her misbehaviour, the law thought it reasonable to intrust him with the power of restraining her, by domestic chastisement.... But, with us,however goes on in the politer reign of Charles the second, this power of correction began to be doubted: and a wife may now have security of the peace against her husband; or, in return, a husband against his wife...

 

the old law is clearly better.you have lost your authority and respect and need to make a stand now,the female is always second role to the male.its the law of the jungle the female surrenders loses its name in marriage and always comes after mr,its a fact the male is top.this would not be tolerated in some cultures.you need to stop this now.

 

OMG.... lol!

I don't even think my ex-husband would have agreed with you on that score.... and he was a complete to**er.....

[Guest jsa12]

tong and cheek. but the message is he needs to get matters under control and fast,this house husband business i have seen happen before and where it leads,from what i witnessed it never works.

[PriorityOne]

tong and cheek. but the message is he needs to get matters under control and fast,this house husband business i have seen happen before and where it leads,from what i witnessed it never works.

 

Two-way street though. My ex was a house husband years ago due to circumstance..... and also because he thought it was the easier option. All it did was to bring him into contact with lots of other women.... The rest you can work out for yourself.

 

It didn't work but not for the reasons you give.

 

[duckwaddler]

Your Wife sounds nothing more than a bully! You've been given great advice here, and I would have to agree that you should stay put. When married all assets are to be split equally, so if nothing else other than your dd, this is another good thing to come out of you and her having married . Best wishes for the future.

[jackieandwayne]

Well done, and if today Housing turn out not to be so good, don;t forget shelter which is also free. I should think you'll find Housing ok though, they have the statutory duty to prevent your homelessness and that includes free legal advice.

[jackieandwayne]

And I forgot to say- she can bugger off with her £10 K, £50K, whatever.

[stapeley]

Almost came to an agreement . But wife could not even fake being nice for a couple of weks .So I have changed my mind on the agrement . In the form she wanted me to sign it mention that I would give up all claim to pension rights . Well I had forgotten about that , I had six years of no pensionable salury ,so she has been able to add to hers . So I would be entitled to clain for that . I was about to sell myself short .

[stapeley]

If your partner has not declared income , but then gets investigated . Can the unpaid tax be claimed from both parties , even if they have separated ? Undeclared tax carried on during period they were married ?

[jackieandwayne]

No idea, but don't let her use that as a frightener, and never ever sign anything she gives you. It will be more of a worry for her if she says to you "if you don't sign xxx I'll tell so and so yyy" and you simply say "my sweetness and light of my life you must do what you will, it is no concern of my mine!" And only sign what is handed to you by your legal adviser or solicitor.

[intheblack]

organise a locksmith - wait until she goes out and change the locks

meanwhile line up a solicitor and start divorcce proceedings

easy - just do it

[intheblack]

caveat - be prepared to give her 50 per cent if you have kids or have kids stay with you

 

if you dont want to sell house _ try to get it all in your name whatever courts will say

give her half

 

I hate the way men end up in bedsit land - stay in your home

a rich girlfriend of mine was told by her mother when you have a nice house and

not getting on with husband dont leave the house

 

she made her husbands life a misery but had to PAY HIM TO GET OUT - another angle demand your share

right now NOW. Make her run round and get it if shes that keen to do you

[jackieandwayne]

intheblack. He will get into more trouble if he deliberately bars her from the marital home. If you are going to suggest things like that to him, then at least tell him to have the sense to lose his keys first! LOL. And even then he needs to have a key at the property available to her should she request it.