How do you tell a 9 year old?

[pt2537]

Pi-Stoff, there are absolutely no strings attached to these offers. Please let us help you. Next year it may be your turn to help someone. Let the ones who were in your position, last Christmas, do their bit.

 

Regards, Rooster.

Absolutely, completely agree with Rooster, this site is all about helping each other out

 

I personally know what its like to struggle,especially at christmas, when i was younger my parents suffered a repossession by their mortgage lender which left me sleeping in a car at the age of 15 for a two month period over christmas

 

however , a good Samaritan came along, a lawyer who managed to get mum and dad their house back and ever since i have said if i can give back something then i will,

 

so thats what im doing on here, trying to help people who are being unfairly treated by lenders and to restore the balance in the consumers favour.

 

All the people on here are wanting to help. please dont feel embarrassed to accept it

[Bookworm]

Pi-stoff, listen, this is what this site and the people do: help one another in whatever form. I asked if there was s/one in the Guildford area the other day who could pick up some rare dye for me, and CAGgers replied, and the one who did go and get the stuff for me wouldn't hear of me paying for the P&P, her words were: "Don't worry about SAE.... you have done enough for everybody... " which was so kind of her, and I am forever grateful for her doing this for me.

 

The people offering to help with your son's Christmas are people who have been helped, or will be, and they're passing it on the way they can. Maybe you have in you the nugget of knowledge that noone else possesses which one day will save someone else's life, who knows?

 

I remember having Christmas in February as a young child, and it was an orange and a pack of colouring pencils, because my father had got a lung disease from spraying cars at the Renault factory without proper equipment as the company was too tight to provide those, and then fired him for being sick , but worse of all is the look on my mum's face when she had to tell us that Christmas would be coming late that year. I also remember making up lies at school about it, and the clear look of disbelief on my classmates' faces.

 

In "A streetcar named Desire", Blanche Dubois says this wonderful line: "Whoever you are, I have always depended on the kindness of strangers." Maybe now is the time to take a leaf out of her book, not for you, but for your child. And just think what a wonderful story in human kindness it will be in a few years for him to learn that when things were bad, Santa took the appearance of nice people thinking of him.

 

Gosh, even an old anti-xmas cynic like myself finds it hard not to exclaim: "god bless us, everyone" all of a sudden.

[tonycee]

Pi-Stoff, there are absolutely no strings attached to these offers. Please let us help you. Next year it may be your turn to help someone. Let the ones who were in your position, last Christmas, do their bit.

Regards, Rooster.

 

 

DITTO

 

People help because they WANT TO, not because of sorrow or pity.

 

I have said it MANY times so once more wont hurt.

 

Basic human kindness still costs nothing.

[Guest symbio-dek]

Ditto also . . .

 

Given, how many more on here are now pointing out (as you can see) the 'very' big mistake your making in not allowing yourself to do the right thing for your sons sake ! . . . Hopefully you can see the importance of putting your stupid pride aside . . .

 

If you don't take these gifts, your risking making you and your missus feel like cr..ap on chrimbo day and your son having a poor chrimbo - that he wont be able to forget !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

Remember, these gifts are not putting any of us out of pocket and they are not for you - they're for your son.

 

I cant speak for anyone else on here, but i feel i must state the following:

 

Pi-stoff - Go back to your original post on here and look at the questions you asked of us all . . . . . . And ask yourself why you asked them !!

(And notice just how much they resemble the letters sent to santa each year from kids who know they're getting nothing)

 

''How do i tell my son santas broke and may not be coming . . etc.''

 

I have an answer for you - for when he's sat on your bed on christmas morning - (worded as you ''could'' say it)

 

I can guarantee it's not what you want to hear!! - but you asked, so here goes:

 

'Son, i love you very very much, but santa never brought you anything this year, because when i ''Posted'' your request to him - and many of his ''helpers'', wrote back to me with offers of many wonderful things, that would have cost nothing, but would have made a massive difference, and would no-doubt have made today a wonderful, memorable day, for not only you, but me and your mum also . . . . I selfishly turned them down!!!! . . . . . The reason i did this son, is that im such a weak defeated fool, that i can't even overcome my own pride . . . '

 

- At this point, you should hang you head and look at the floor, too ashamed and too weak to see your own sons face and tears, and cover your ears so you can't hear him crying, then go down stairs, hide in the cupbaord and give up on life altogether . . . . . . . . .

 

. . . . . . . . or, you could decide to act like the grown man you seem to have forgotten you actually are, and realise that that boy is the only thing that matters, in the world of self pity that you are trapped within . . .

 

Get up off your ar..se, and take the first step in ''your own recovery'' (for your families sake), throw your pride out of the window . . and for f....s sake, accept the help you need at this time !!!!

 

Your quote:

''I live with my partner, she is a bit of a worrier''

I'm not at all surprised . . . it's probably watching your collapse that's worrying her most . . . Throw your pride out of the f......g window, and take the gifts (Now!!!), put your arms around your missus, look her in the eyes, and tell her everythings going to be ok from now!! and that your gonna need her full support from now on (And i guarantee it will come) - then focus only on how to make your boys day (yes, 'your boys day'!!) as wonderful as possible . . . . . .

 

Oh, and know that from this point onward, you, your missus and son are not alone . . . you have my full support and help, through anything at all . . . ok? (i 'demand' a yes to this!)

 

Also, if my pre-prepared (christmas morning) statement above made you cry, then good, i'm glad it did - it's right ! (get the message!!!)

 

Give yourself a F.....g good talking to . . .

Stay on this site, and keep talking to us . . . we want to help you!!

And, Never worry about things you cannot change - focus all effort on the things you can

 

It's a universal law that everything changes, and your circumstances will change - and all will be well in time . . . You have to make them change though . . . and if all you can do for now, is to pick you and your missus up off the floor, then do it . . . . . . .

 

I love you very much, but you have to allow us to help you, we cannot force it on you . . . .

 

PS - you see your son every day, i havent seen mine in four months - and dont know if can get up north to see him at christmas - and as for a present for him, im currently eating less to save for fuel . . . and hopefully a present . . . . (perspective - yes!) - my heads held high and im fighting all the way! - like a man should . . .

 

Dek

Edited December 2, 2008 by symbio-dek
spelling . .

[tonycee]

symbio.

 

Im sure you mean well, but ease off on the judgements.

[jansus]

I am unfortunately banned from pms - but I repeat my offer regarding computer games and also I have some unused brand new card games like gone fishing and old maid so all light small stuff.

 

So if there is a mod that co-ordinate some sort of in-between address exchange I am still willing to help.

 

reference your job application good for you - perhaps you should be pro-active and call them to see how your application is going?

 

Wishing you all the best .

 

"What makes the desert beautiful is that somewhere it hides a well." - Antione de Saint Exupery

 

 

Jansus

 

 

 

BY THE WAY I WAS A HIPPY NOW A BOWL OF FRUIT_ TOO CRYPTIC FOR SOME

[empowered]

I don't think I can really add to any of the comments above but this is a Self Help group and people want to help you.... with a lot of help from this site, in a couple of years time, you may be able to help somebody else who is desperate also. Look upon these offers as they are ... offers from the heart.... they are not costing anybody anything as they are items that are now not needed (and God knows I have a garage full of expensive, nicely intentioned, but not needed pressies!). People on this site offer their expertise or experience and nobody turns that down, so what is the difference? Please please accept in the spirit in which they have been offered and just think of the look on your son's face on Christmas Morn. Miracles do happen;) Debs x

[empowered]

Oh, and another thing.... the expertise that comes from some of the professionals on here would cost £100s per hour ... and we don't turn it down! We all accept whatever others can offer with grateful thanks. Let's call it a bit of old fashioned bartering:D

[Mr Worried]

Lets all take a back seat now, 'tonycee' judgemental 'symbio's comments may be but in a positive manner, we can all whittle on about pi-stoff but he needs to sort this himself and I am getting tired of reeding comments about people offering help and it not being taken.

 

PI-STOFF if you dont act upon this quickly you will only have yourself to blame, and I for one will not be ponding over this scenario on Xmas day wondering how you and your family are 'gettin on' as I will be enjoying my day with my family and the gifts that have been offered to them.

 

I am in the Sunderland area so if I can fit into the chain then let me know, otherwise in true Dragon's Den style...I'm out.

 

Thank you

Edited December 3, 2008 by Mr Worried

[pt2537]

, otherwise in true Lion's Den style...I'm out.

 

Erm, you mean Dragons Den? BBC - Dragons' Den - Homepage :lol:

[Mr Happy]

Well thanks again for your support, my last post was basically saying that I would accept your support but I guess the meaning got a bit lost in translation, sorry, as you know I have a lot on my plate at the moment.

 

There is however some good new, I had just received a grilling from the other half about not getting the job I applied for, I went upstairs and there was a confirmation of start email sat in my inbox, I have a 6 month contract repairing computers, the daily rate is not as much as I used to earn but as much as I spend a month on food at the moment.

I start on Monday.

 

I am paid weekly so will get 2 pay checks before Christmas.

 

Thanks again for your offers of help, you are the best.

[tonycee]

Lets all take a back seat now, 'tonycee' judgemental 'symbio's comments may be but in a positive manner, we can all whittle on about pi-stoff but he needs to sort this himself and I am getting tired of reeding comments about people offering help and it not being taken.

 

Then i can only assume that you must be insensitive to what might be a wider picture.

 

PI-STOFF if you dont act upon this quickly you will only have yourself to blame,

 

My offer of help is there for as long as is necessary.

 

and I for one will not be ponding over this scenario on Xmas day wondering how you and your family are 'gettin on' as I will be enjoying my day with my family and the gifts that have been offered to them.

 

Then enjoy your Xmas.

 

We can only offer help and support in the best way possible.

Criticism and judgemental remarks will serve no purpose.

 

I am in the Sunderland area so if I can fit into the chain then let me know, otherwise in true Dragon's Den style...I'm out.

Thank you

 

If you chose to withdraw your offer of help, then thats up to you.

 

Telling people how to live their life, is not what this site is about.

 

 

 

 

. P. S. Our posts crossed.

 

Fantastic news about the job.

 

My offer of help is there for life, not just for Christmas.

 

 

 

.

Edited December 3, 2008 by tonycee
Crossed posts.

[oopsadaisy]

Brilliant news about the job! :D See, something always crops up.

[angel_1]

hey thats wonderful news at least you can get other stuff in life now sorted, what a relief

 

As ive personally said before, if you would like to pm me a business address or what about if you let us know that you could accept letters and parcels at the work place now you will be working, we can send stuff to you there - i still want to help even if its a £5.00 voucher - it really would mean the world to me that your child could go and buy something they want and choose themselves in the xmas sales

 

this way your personal details are kept as private as possible,

 

take care and remember when you are down, and you keep the faith, things will improve, Chill and keep happy

 

ciao for now MAZ

[ohoh4312]

Yes, fantastic news - really pleased for you and I sincerely hope it all works out well.

 

Let us know how you are getting on, and if there is anything we can do to help.

 

Take care xx

[fedup74]

I am so pleased for you and your family pi-stoff, this is a happy ending but please remember the offers are still open to you. As I said in reply to your first post, you still have your family and these are the most important things in the universe. This is what your son will remember- the love and support off his mum and dad. Good luck:)

[hilaryfrances]

:D:Dbrilliant, I would still like to help though

[Rooster-UK]

That is fantastic news, Pi-Stoff.

This is the start of a new era in your life. Don't let go of it.

 

As everyone said the offers are still there. It's just a case of getting them to you.

 

A suggestion.....

Find a local shop, perhaps owned by someone you're pally with, who would be prepared to take delivery of any items and keep them for you to collect.

The packages could be marked "F.A.O. Mr. Newlife" at the shop's address (select your own alias).

You would then NOT have to pass your name and address to anyone. The only details you would have to PM would be FAO Mr. Alias, Shop's address.

 

Nobody would ever know who you are. Tell the shop-owner that they are Christmas presents for the family and you don't want them to find out what they're having.

It needs to be set up fairly quickly to be sure of catching the post, etc in plenty of time for Christmas.

 

Regards, Rooster.

[Guest symbio-dek]

Pi-stoff,

I’m chuffed to bits to hear about your job. ( have big smile now )

My offer still stands if you can sort out postal location issue.

I hope you do.

Tonycee:

I consider your dissection and analysis of mrworrieds ‘correct’ comments (post 62), to be unqualified, and therefore non-productive. If you are unable to interpret correctly, what is being said and why, perhaps you should refrain.

I acknowledge and admire your wisdom, and desire to try to help.

I would politely request that if you have any further inaccurate analysis of my comments to offer, you pm them to me pre-post - out of courtesy – thanks.

I will exercise my own restraint if that’s ok with you?

Dek

[Guest symbio-dek]

Great Idea Rooster . . .

[Mr Happy]

Everyone has tried to be very helpful here, there have been a few posts that try to make me feel guilty into taking the gifts, I appreciate that these are meant in the best intentions but I have enough guilt and blame hanging over my head for being in these circumstances it really hasn't helped, as I have said I understand why they were said and continued without taking them to heart.

 

I would be happy to accept your gifts, this would allow us to use the cash I earn to pay some outstanding debts, repair things that need repairing, (why does everything break when you don't have any cash?) toilet seat, lounge light etc.

 

Would it be OK if I gave my company PO BOX, I am not too bothered about unwelcome visitors I am so used to them by now that we don't answer the door anyway.

 

But please only send things with the knowledge that I will be getting my finances sorted shortly.

[hilaryfrances]

that is fine by me matey, make your house as comfy as you can for Christmas, I am just happy that you have turned the corner. Believe me this is not charity and we are happy to help as we have all been there. Next year you will be able to help someone else.

[boston3603]

This is was makes me so proud to be british. Let us do what we do best, share and support others in times of need. You help us a little by accepting our help. I have no problems at all sending you a gift voucher. Its Christmas, its about caring, sharing, cuddling, playing, magical moments together so if it means you need to accept some help, then please do.

I know what its like. Our little ones are so precious. It will hurt if you say no but that is your right. Offer stands though.

 

Lots of HUGS to you all, especially to your little one.

Hazel

[tonycee]

., perhaps you should refrain.

and desire to try to help.

 

Indeed. ?

 

Well let me put it in plain English for you, or anybody else for that matter.

 

There is a common saying.

 

If you have nothing nice to, say nothing at all.

 

You have no right to judge people, and tell them what to do.

 

If a poster wanted phycho analysis, there are much more proffesional services available than people on here.

 

So the request of me pm ing you is absolutely out of the question.

 

People dont need your critcism. End of.

[ohoh4312]

Everyone has tried to be very helpful here, there have been a few posts that try to make me feel guilty into taking the gifts, I appreciate that these are meant in the best intentions but I have enough guilt and blame hanging over my head for being in these circumstances it really hasn't helped, as I have said I understand why they were said and continued without taking them to heart.

 

I would be happy to accept your gifts, this would allow us to use the cash I earn to pay some outstanding debts, repair things that need repairing, (why does everything break when you don't have any cash?) toilet seat, lounge light etc.

 

Would it be OK if I gave my company PO BOX, I am not too bothered about unwelcome visitors I am so used to them by now that we don't answer the door anyway.

 

But please only send things with the knowledge that I will be getting my finances sorted shortly.

 

This isn't quite a crimbo pressie for your son, but.............

 

I have a brand-new white soft-close toilet seat, still in the box. Kids broke hinge on original by letting it drop; common occurence!

 

Anyway, I can't get the old bolts off, and as the house is most probably gonna be repo'd early next year, I am not bothered whether toilet seat is broken or not!

 

So, providing p&p is not ott, I would happily send it to you, and that way you could spend £20-30 on a great crimbo pressie for your son, direct from you.

 

Let me know if you are interested xx