does my 4 yr old have ADHD

[Guest sharonsmith]

my son is 4 and im worried that he has ADHD. My partners has 2 brothers who has it, so its in his family. But i am at my wits end with him, cos nothing ever seems to work. I look up on the internet and done questionnaires about it (which said hes highly likely that hes got it), but then decided to go to my doctors about it. All the doctor said to me was, its cos he gets away with everything. I went mad, cos the doc aint there, and dont know what happens. But we'e tried every disciplining thing possible, but nothing works.

 

he is so hypo, he can not walk anywhere, he will only ever run or jump. he cant stand still, he fidgets, jumps and gets very excitable. he cant even sit still to watch telly or eat his food. he just has so much energy and is up all day till about 11pm. he is quite intellegant for his age, compared to other kids of his age. but thats cos i done evetrything with him when he was young. now it seems that hes too intellegant and wants to learn more cos he gets bored very easily. he missed out in starting school last year by 5 days, so hes been in nursery for 2 years and starts school this sept. but he has really gone down hill ion nursery cos hes finding it boring and cant be bothered with it anymore. You can also see when hes starting to go off on one...hes eyes start changing, and he gets a spaced out look on his face!!! lol

 

the doc also told me its to do with e numbers, so i was to take them off them for 4 weeks and come back. i done this for 6 weeks but there was no change. i then went back and another doc referred him to a paedeatrician, but i got letter from tehm saying cos hes under 5 they wont do anything. so ive hit a brick wall. i just want to know if anyone thinks he may have adhd and what i shold try and do next.

 

im also worried cos he gets told off all the time at nursery cos he cant sit still, so im worried what hes gonna be like at school. Im desperate, cos sometimes he has me in tears cos i dont knwo what to do. i dont like taking them out cos he cant behave, so when i do take him out, its so much hard work and i think why do i bother and just come back home again.

 

please help!!!

[emmaf01]

Did the paediatrician even see your son?

 

Has he been assessed for special needs at the nursery?

 

My four year old has been through this and though they think he is ASD rather than ADHD, it was our health visitor who got the ball moving. He cannot have an official diagnosis until he is five or six as the testing is not really accurate before then.

[breeze1996]

I really do feel for you, I have seen friends with kids that make mine look like sleeepyheads.

 

I know nothing about this and really hope you can get some help, I have heard it's just a case of keep asking for help, and talk to other mums who know who to contact.

 

Good Luck

[Guest sharonsmith]

well ive just moved up north from the south, so at the minute i dont have a health visitor. my one back home didnt even want to see him, she just wanted to sit and chat with me, which i thought was stupid cos she needs to see him and see what hes like. how can she do that when she didnt even want him to be there when she came???

 

at his old nursery all they said was he is funny. but hes very disruptive. he wont sit still and do what hes told like the others. he'll just run around like a lunatic and do what he wants to do. but apparently there has to be someone in the school who is qualified to say, we think theres a problem. and they dont have anyone in that school to deal with special needs. He has only been at this new nursery for a few weeks cos of us moving. but its the school he's going to be going to in sept. but he gets told off all the time there too cos he wont sit still. but things is, hes even more bored at this one. cos they think that just by playing the kids learn best. where as hes been used to being taught academic stuff and wants to learn more all the time. he can even do addition and subtraction sums with numbers up to 10. i worry that its me whos done this to him. sometimes i think im failing as a mother and think im doing everything wrong. but my little girl isnt like it. shes just plain cheeky...but not hyperactive!!! but i also think ive taught him too much, cos its cos he finds everything too easy that he gets bored easily. but then again, hes the one who wants to learn it, ive not forced him!!

[emmaf01]

Check that the new school has both a policy for special needs assessment and one for gifted children. It sounds like your son is both!

 

Mine is starting school in two weeks. Luckily his nursery was attached to the school, so they have got used to him and got assessment done.

 

His problems were initially picked up by our health visitor but once a child gets to school they are covered instead by the school nurse. Contact your new local community health centre and speak to them.

 

Was it your old GP or new one that was so unhelpful? Perhaps a new GP (or at least a different one in the practice) might be more helpful. The more help and the quicker the help, the less the damage to your son's education and mental health.

[Guest sharonsmith]

it was my old GP back home that told me all that c**p. The doctors down there were usless and gave me the worng medication once and made me worse!!! But now im living up in wigan and hopefully the docs will e alot more helpful up here. Its just trying to find out who to go to.

 

He has only been at this new nursery which is attached to a school for a few weeks, so they dont really know him that well. but when he starts in 2 weeks something needs to be said. we are sending him to a school across town cos we dont want him mixing wiht the children round wehre we moved to cos its a very rough area, and most of them are nto very bright, so ive sent him across town to a very good school that has great results, so hopefully they will pick up on it.

 

some days he can be the loveliest boy in the world. hes very loving a caring, but he just cant keep still. he has to fidget and run and jump all the time. sometimes he even blurts out these silly this noises for no reason what so ever. i just dont know where he gets his energy from, cos we certainly dont like it.

[Lula]

Hi there, I have no experience of this at all, but have a read of this thread, and others in this section, they may offer some help and also you will know that you are not alone in this . Good luck http://www.consumeractiongroup.co.uk/forum/special-needs-disability-etc/143489-discussion-re-sen-state.html

[Guest sharonsmith]

reading some of the stuff on that thread, im not saying my sons got adhd just to get medication and benefits. I even told the doctor that if he is diagnosed with it, i wouldnt give him the medication because i dont think thats a good thing to be doing, because the drugs are liek speed, but with the reverse effect. So there is no way im giving my 4 years old son the equlivant to something that is actually an illegal drug. All i want is an explanation, and to know that sometimes when hes like he is, he cant actually help it. Cos when he is told off, he says sorry and seems liek he really means it, but he just cant help himself and does it again straight away, cos he just cant keep still. But also, i would then like help and knowledge on how to deal with him when he is like it, and nto to just thin that hes naughty and im a mad mother cos im bringing him up wrong. And i certainly dont want any benefits for it. Because hes not disabled so why shoudl he get disability living allowance. hes a normal healthy kid!!!

[Guest sharonsmith]

oh, and another thing, i certainly dont dont feed my kids coke or any fizzy drinks. they hardly eat sweets, and when they do have some, i buy ones that have no artificial additives, colours, flavours or sweeteners. i am very particular about what i feed my kids, even though i eat c**p myself, i dont let my children. So when the doc told me to be strict abotu e numbers, i was very strict, and there was still no difference. so you cant put it down to e numbers as hes liek it when he dont have any!!!

[emmaf01]

Hi Sharonsmith,

 

I've PMed you with a good definition from a reputable on-line health site. For proper diagnosis, to enable you son to get proper help, rather than to be labelled a "problem" child, he needs to be seen regularly by a paediatrician for assessment. Get onto a GP asap.

 

Just because your son has a health issue, doesn't mean it is your fault- I'm sure you are a good parent. If you weren't, you wouldn't be so concerned about your child's welfare. Is there a children's centre near you? I have found the staff there to be a mine of information.

[Guest sharonsmith]

yeah there is one right behind my house. it is a sure start centre. i will read through your post and see how i get on. thanks

[Guest sharonsmith]

emmaf01

 

i was reading through the site that you gave me. it lists all the symptoms of ADHD and says that your child has to show 6 of a certain on and 3 of another and so on. well otu of all the long list, there is only about 2 of the symptoms listed that he doesnt actually have. So im going to print that off and show it to whoever i manage to get him seen by.

[emmaf01]

Have you got/tried your new GP yet?

 

And how have you survived the holidays?

 

I'm having to put up the curtain rail in our child's bedroom again tomorrow, as there is barely any space left on the wall that's fresh to drill into. It's polyfilla time! And my one doesn't have ADHD, just attention difficulties and a tendency to swing on curtains. And cover his bedroom with shredded loo roll.

 

This afternoon he's out and we have a couple of hours without him for only the second time this year. And we're too knackered to move. Argh.

[Guest sharonsmith]

well ive actually gone back to work full time and my husband is now a stay at home dad, so its him who has to deal with most of it now. My two covered my whole front room in 4 brand new boxes of cereals while i was on the phone to nokia trying to sort my phone out. you should have seen the state of it. i went mad. ive not seen anyone just yet, like i said, ive started work full tiem now so dont get much chance to sort anything out anymore. i want to get as much info as possible so that im not wasting anyones time and money.

[emmaf01]

I'd say can't your husband- but I have a very competent husband and I still would rather do these things myself. Same with power tools, home repairs, bills, etc. It's not him, it's definitely me.

[Guest sharonsmith]

i know exactly what you mean. i do everything. i decorate lift all the heavy things etc etc. id rather do things myself that way i know they'll get done the wya i want htem done. he is only into his 4th week of being a stay at home dad, so he's still getting used to it all. bless him, hes doing alot better than i expected him to do tho..lol

[freebird]

Sharan, my daughter has Down Syndrome/ ASD/ ADHD, so I have an idea where you're at.

If you look in the thread about Statements of SEN you will see all the stuff I wrote about the Team Around The Child and this should ideally be initiated in early years.

Contact the numbers below and see if Wigan has an Early Years Team who you can talk to.

 

 

I got these numbers of people in wigan who might be able to help you also, ( worth a chat anyway )

 

Wigan, Shirley - Tel:01257 421302 or Steve and Josie Brodrick 01942 748301 - Wigan, Lancashire Wigan, Ann, PARENTS IN NEED, Tel:0800-917-6790 - Wigan, Lancashire

 

 

Sure Start Opening Hours 8:45am - 5:00pm, Monday to Friday Phone Number 01942 206205 Children and Families Service (0-11) Gateway House 7 Worsley Terrace Standishgate WiganWN1 1XW

 

Hope this helps a bit.

Freebird x

[Guest sharonsmith]

can anyone also helo me on what drinks i can give my little boy, as he will not drink water, and refuses to not drink anything at all if you give him water, he is very stubborn. But theres not alot of drinks that i can give him, cos ive just found out that the flavoured water i was giving him isnt very good for him either. So please help. Hes just started school today too, and they give them water at school, but he will go all day without a drink becasue he just wont touch it.

[Lula]

Hi Sharon, I cant help you with any alternatives, but you might find that, when he is in school with other children drinking water, he might just drink it too, I know that this is my experience with my children, they are quite happy doing and eating things at school that they would kick up merry hell about at home.

[tiglet]

I would go back to your GP and insist he refers to the community paediatrician. if he refuses, advise him you will be seeking a second opinion.

 

If there is something there (and you're his Mum, so will know) it is so much better to get it diagnosed now so that you can get his SEN met sooner rather than later.

[Guest sharonsmith]

lula

 

he has been in a nursery at a school for a whole 2 years and he still wont try new things like the other kids. so i dont think he will in big school, otherwise he would have done it in the last two years when the toehr kids in nursery were drinking water

[honey5]

hello my son has adhd, ocd you name it

 

they wouldnt treat him with medication until he was 6yrs old, my home was trashed regularly, the amount of calls i received from school was horrendous

 

someone did suggest trying him with effalex, and within 6 weeks i had a changed boy

i did the no E thing too but to no avail either

 

unfortunately the behaviour as he grew older did worsen, he is now taking ritalin and risperidone, i have my boy back and its fantastic

 

good luck

honey x

[emmaf01]

My son is not a great one for trying new things- but he started school today with no major problems, I think due to him receiving proper help in school. He is still not toilet trained, will only eat certain foods (weetabix, muller rice, yoghurts, biscuits and chocolate of course) and won't try new things normally.

 

But due to proper help from psychologists, helpful nursery teachers, etc, he has made huge leaps in the past 12 months.

 

It is about getting the right help, though my little boy still has his issues, and sometimes you have to fight for it.

[Guest sharonsmith]

i struggle with meal times as he is a very fussy eater aswell. He will just blantently refuse to eat anything if you give him something he dont like the look of. ive tried just giving him only 3 meals a day and if he dont eat it then he goes without, beacuse thats what the health visitor said, she said he'll then try something just beacuse hes hungry. that never worked either. i just dont knwo what to do, cos i cant keep giving him the same foods all the time. ive started buying them birds eye chicken pieces that have got peas and sweetcorn hidden in them, which is great cos he just thinks they're nuggets and dont knwo about the veg in them. but he wont even eat things like spag bolognese and lasange, andything thats gooey. he will only eat things like, nuggets, chips, potatoes, sausages, and things like that. oh and he loves his fruit. but no veg.

[tiglet]

Does he like all of the food separate from eachother on his plate?

 

You mentioned he doesn't like spag bol/lasagne - how about stews?