Investigation? Suspension?

[Star_light]

sigh. look at the long game. this is in no way going to help you, or punish them. It's just stirring the pot. But yknow. You want to get sacked, keep on going. 2 or 3 managers who you couldn't get along with suggests to the ET it's you, not them.

 

But doing nothing is not going to help either is it?

 

I have requested mediation, they have refused and are trying to use mediation against me which is not its intended purpose.

[Emmzzi]

Y'know, I've been at this for over an hour, and we are no further forward. You said you asked for the meeting; now it is offered yo will not go. You want your old job or you want to be sacked so you can make a claim but you won't do what the employer wants, which would likely bring one of those things about

 

I am afraid I am starting to have sympathy with your boss. You give minimal answers in a work to rule manner and I am am doing all the work here! And we are no further forward; yo will not move your opinion on anything one iota. How on earth could mediaton work with you? It's about compromise, not beating people into submission! What are you actually prepared to compromise on?

 

I'm tired, I'm not getting paid for this, I'm getting no thanks, and I'm off to bed. Hopefully someone more patient will be along in a bit!

[Star_light]

Y'know, I've been at this for over an hour, and we are no further forward. You said you asked for the meeting; now it is offered yo will not go. You want your old job or you want to be sacked so you can make a claim but you won't do what the employer wants, which would likely bring one of those things about

 

I am afraid I am starting to have sympathy with your boss. You give minimal answers in a work to rule manner and I am am doing all the work here! And we are no further forward; yo will not move your opinion on anything one iota. How on earth could mediaton work with you? It's about compromise, not beating people into submission! What are you actually prepared to compromise on?

 

I'm tired, I'm not getting paid for this, I'm getting no thanks, and I'm off to bed. Hopefully someone more patient will be along in a bit!

 

Emmzzi I don't think you are really being fair here, I have gone over it all again for you when you could have just read the thread already, and why does it take three months to agree to a meeting but on their terms and how does that make it my fault?

 

I was trying to keep the points simple to aid understanding but you asked me to type it out again so I did but you still haven't really given any considered answers so how is it me being stubborn?

 

I am tired and not getting paid for this either, haven't you ever heard of compassion?!

 

I had hoped my time and effort would be rewarded with some kind of helpful response and quite frankly am feeling like I shouldn't have bothered because all you have done is criticise me for trying to do as you ask.

 

Maybe try not responding to threads when you are tired if it makes you fed up because I can honestly say I feel the same, but will say thank you anyway for your time.

[Emmzzi]

hon, all you are doing is saying "I am going to do exactly as I planned to do." Even when I have explained how this will not help you.

 

There is simply no point in asking for views when you take none on board!

[Star_light]

hon, all you are doing is saying "I am going to do exactly as I planned to do." Even when I have explained how this will not help you.

 

There is simply no point in asking for views when you take none on board!

 

No I haven't said that at all, you have not given any other view except you are right and I am wrong.

 

Sorry for asking for advice, maybe I was mistaken about what this forum is supposed to be about.

[Emmzzi]

for all I know you used to work on the veg aisle and they have put you on fruit instead. I have no way of knowing if you have a real or imagined problem.

 

i have suggested

- going to he meeting to increase your chances at ET (rejected)

- not putting in a greivance against the person who is moving on anyway (rejected)

- offering to take an anger management course to deal with the intimidation (ignored)

- sitting tight and waiting to put in an ET (can't do it if you won't go through their procedure)

- keeping a proper diary of incidents (ignored)

 

Seriously, I can't go round and lobotomise your management team until they behave. There are only so many options! And I think you are down to "look for a new job"

[Star_light]

for all I know you used to work on the veg aisle and they have put you on fruit instead. I have no way of knowing if you have a real or imagined problem.

 

i have suggested

- going to he meeting to increase your chances at ET (rejected)

- not putting in a greivance against the person who is moving on anyway (rejected)

- offering to take an anger management course to deal with the intimidation (ignored)

- sitting tight and waiting to put in an ET (can't do it if you won't go through their procedure)

- keeping a proper diary of incidents (ignored)

 

Seriously, I can't go round and lobotomise your management team until they behave. There are only so many options! And I think you are down to "look for a new job"

 

Believe me, I understand your frustration because I am in fact a real person and this is part of my life at the moment.

 

To answer your points:

 

Going to the meeting is not in my interest because the outcome is predetermined and so will be no use if I then tried to go to ET

 

The Grievance is in already in and is about continued exclusion without grounds to do so. The person leaving is not leaving the employer but moving to another area.

 

Anger Management for intimidation is a red herring anyway.

 

As I understand it we are nowhere near ET stage yet.

 

I have a comprehensive diary of events and evidence to back this up.

 

I know the options appear limited and that is why I am asking for input and advice!!

 

Anyway, I am off to bed myself now, thank you for reading (you did read the thread, didn't you?) only joking ... and thanks again for answering my thread

[Emmzzi]

NOT going to the meetings blows your ET chances as you have refused to let them help you - that is what they will argue. "We attempted to help but starlight refused." And right there you have no case, it gets thrown out.

 

Anger management addresses the intimidating behaviour query, shows you are a reasonable person, and is a couple of days out of your life. No big deal unless you are exceptionally stubborn.

 

I would withdraw the grievance. You are presenting yourself as a person incapable of working with others.

 

If you are prepared to do none of the above, I don't think anyone can help you. I would then think about going self employed where you will get no run ins with management; you may prefer that

[Star_light]

NOT going to the meetings blows your ET chances as you have refused to let them help you - that is what they will argue. "We attempted to help but starlight refused." And right there you have no case, it gets thrown out.

 

Anger management addresses the intimidating behaviour query, shows you are a reasonable person, and is a couple of days out of your life. No big deal unless you are exceptionally stubborn.

 

I would withdraw the grievance. You are presenting yourself as a person incapable of working with others.

 

If you are prepared to do none of the above, I don't think anyone can help you. I would then think about going self employed where you will get no run ins with management; you may prefer that

 

 

None of your points are relevant, you are not genuinely trying to help you just want to appear to be "right".

 

I am wondering if you have even read the thread?

[assisted blonde]

Star-light I have read all of this post (with great difficulty ) and I have got to say that you are coming across as difficult and if that is how you come over in real life then I can see how that may feel threatening to some people, also I am no nearer understanding the whole problem than I was at the start due to the info being given puecemeal.. I think you need to step back, take a deep breath and look at this in a logical way. if your employer wants you to go to a meeting whether it is facilitated, informal or what go! maes you look reasonable at least even if yoyu disagree with it you dont have to say anything but you have been, at the moment the whole situation seems to be getting out of hand whether its on the managements side or yours it dosent matter its starting to get to the stage where I would be looing for a reason to dismiss you just to stop evaerything. now you may want to be dismissed (I dont know) so you can go to an et, you may not want to go back to this job but somthing has got to give soon and if yoy want to keep working here it might as well be you.

[honeybee13]

Hello there.

 

I agree with the ladies. I think if you refuse to go to the meeting, an ET would consider that you haven't taken all reasonable steps to resolve the problem. If you go as far as an ET you want to look like the reasonable one in order to achieve a decision against your employer.

 

And yes, I've read the thread. I have to say we seem to be going round in circles as I see it.

 

My best, HB

[Star_light]

Hello there.

 

I agree with the ladies. I think if you refuse to go to the meeting, an ET would consider that you haven't taken all reasonable steps to resolve the problem. If you go as far as an ET you want to look like the reasonable one in order to achieve a decision against your employer.

 

And yes, I've read the thread. I have to say we seem to be going round in circles as I see it.

 

My best, HB

 

I am not refusing to attend meetings, the information has come to me in dribs and drabs and I am simply pointing out the fact that the latest proposed meeting would not be in my interests to attend also if I did this means an ET would not be an appropriate option due to that anyway.

 

I do not want to be sacked and I haven't done anything wrong, I am being set up.

 

It was the union who advised the grievance and who are saying no to the facilitated meeting.

 

Just looking for other perspectives and support, no need to criticise me for that which I have had more than enough of lately.

[assisted blonde]

Unions are not always right!! and tbh how do you know the meeting will not be in your interest unless you go and it takes place

[Star_light]

Unions are not always right!! and tbh how do you know the meeting will not be in your interest unless you go and it takes place

 

That is why I am here, to get other perspectives.

 

HR have told me that I will be permanently moved if the meeting does not reach agreement, this is with the people who have fabricated allegations, misused and refused mediation so why confirm that as "evidence" by attending a meeting?

 

They currently have no grounds for their actions therefore I have a grievance.

 

I know I need to be careful but so do they.

[Star_light]

They have not and are not following their own procedures.

[assisted blonde]

in my honest opinion you are being difficult and quite honestly seem to have made your mind as to what you are going to do. I can see this whole saga resulting in a dismissal (Yours) and no doubt an et claim which at the moment I can see you losing.

[Star_light]

in my honest opinion you are being difficult and quite honestly seem to have made your mind as to what you are going to do. I can see this whole saga resulting in a dismissal (Yours) and no doubt an et claim which at the moment I can see you losing.

 

I really am honestly not trying to be difficult in any way, I do not understand how you think that is the case based on what I have said.

 

I have not said what I am going to do??

[transient]

allegations of....?

 

(do you think you could just tell the story properly in date order? With lots of detail? One fact per posting is proving very frustrating!!)

 

I guess if you have written evidence you can wait to get sacked and go to an ET. That is probably what is going to happen from what you have said.

 

Star-light I have read all of this post (with great difficulty ) and I have got to say that you are coming across as difficult and if that is how you come over in real life then I can see how that may feel threatening to some people, also I am no nearer understanding the whole problem than I was at the start due to the info being given puecemeal.. I think you need to step back, take a deep breath and look at this in a logical way. if your employer wants you to go to a meeting whether it is facilitated, informal or what go! maes you look reasonable at least even if yoyu disagree with it you dont have to say anything but you have been, at the moment the whole situation seems to be getting out of hand whether its on the managements side or yours it dosent matter its starting to get to the stage where I would be looing for a reason to dismiss you just to stop evaerything. now you may want to be dismissed (I dont know) so you can go to an et, you may not want to go back to this job but somthing has got to give soon and if yoy want to keep working here it might as well be you.

 

The OP has been just as evasive and drip feeding info over on MSE and has had much the same advice of here but like here and there doesn't seem to want to take it and has her own agenda on the way they should handle it

[Emmzzi]

Multiple opinions can be useful so I never mind posts on multiple forums; only mind where bits of the story are missed to see if it gets a different response. Op seems to have been consistent .

[transient]

Multiple opinions can be useful so I never mind posts on multiple forums; only mind where bits of the story are missed to see if it gets a different response. Op seems to have been consistent .

Not saying it that context Emmzzi, the advice here and there has also been consistent and correct with the information at hand but the OP doesnt seem to want to follow it, just think there is only so much you can help someone with the information at hand if they are not prepared to listen

[Emmzzi]

Not saying it that context Emmzzi, the advice here and there has also been consistent and correct with the information at hand but the OP doesnt seem to want to follow it, just think there is only so much you can help someone with the information at hand if they are not prepared to listen

 

True, true. Still happy to advise if they sleep on it and decide on a course of action though. Stress is not fun.

[Star_light]

The OP has been just as evasive and drip feeding info over on MSE and has had much the same advice of here but like here and there doesn't seem to want to take it and has her own agenda on the way they should handle it

 

I seem to have acquired a stalker now

 

 

Seriously guys, what do you want me to dooo?

[honeybee13]

I seem to have acquired a stalker now

 

 

Seriously guys, what do you want me to dooo?

 

Hello there.

 

I'm not sure what you mean about what the guys 'want you to do'. You've been given advice that you don't seem to agree with on the face of it on two forums, it appears now. Is there any more advice you think you need please?

 

My best, HB

[Star_light]

Hello there.

 

I'm not sure what you mean about what the guys 'want you to do'. You've been given advice that you don't seem to agree with on the face of it on two forums, it appears now. Is there any more advice you think you need please?

 

My best, HB

 

It is a forum for discussion and Emmzzi has said she is happy to continue to advise.

 

I am just wondering what it is I am supposed to be doing?

 

Yes different advice has been given but I do not understand why people are saying I am doing something or anything when nothing has been decided on??

[Emmzzi]

Just let is know when you have opted for a course of action and have questions. You certainly don't need to answer to us! I am not sure your union rep is giving great advice BTW....