NHS and Dementure care and treatment in Wales

[Night Owl]

Lex so sorry to hear of the update.Echo Tillys great words.Your mum has had to get used to being looked after by lots of people and they have had to get to know her.She needs some consistency so that she can settle down, it may ease the frustration she may be feeling but may find difficult to verbalise.Good luck, and stay strong, you're doing a great job getting your mum the best care, and supporting your dad. Not easy, as you say, you live so far away from them.Who supports you in all of this? we will

[Mr lex]

Bless you all

 

I'll update you all as soon as I have spoken to mums case officer xx

 

Lex

[**Tilly**]

.Who supports you in all of this? we will

 

Yep goes without saying..

 

Time to give some back from me

[duckwaddler]

Lex, I'm so very sorry to hear of this But please try to remember one thing, this is not your mum as you all know, just as Tills says most of the aggression is usually frustration, and is a huge part of the illness, although that is of no comfort I know when you're all going through this very upsetting and distressing time. I agree with both Tills and Owly, you mum is at least getting the very best care possible now. You know everyone here is behind you, and I think I speak for us all when I say we are here for you to talk to anytime.

[Mr lex]

Thanks you guys,

 

I'm too far away from it to see all this, it's my Dad I worry about...........

He has it every day.

 

(note to self, remind papa to post on here!!)

[duckwaddler]

Yes! Come on Mr Lex Snr! Then you can also see that you and your Wife have raised an incredible Son Thinking of you all.

[honeybee13]

Yes! Come on Mr Lex Snr! Then you can also see that you and your Wife have raised an incredible Son Thinking of you all.

 

Me too, thinking of you all. This could happen to any of us and I would have the same problems as you. Stay strong.

 

HB x

[chilove]

Hi Lex

my partner's father lives with us - he is 91 and has vascular dementia and finds life very confusing. We've found ways to reduce his worries and generally he's happy and doesn't get anxious very often. He has become changeable when he's gone into respite care because all of a sudden the world has become even less familiar to him and it's frightening. Hopefully your mum will settle in and you and your dad will relax once she seems happy and well looked after. There's a great book I read that really helped me understand the illness. It's written from a carers perspective and I've found it invaluable. It's called Contented Dementia by Oliver James and is available quite cheaply on Amazon. It would also be worth looking at the CQC's website and making sure you are happy that your mum is in the best and most suitable nursing home to meet her needs and maintain her personhood. I do hope everything works out for you all.

[Muffintop]

Im a bit confused here as to who the ward sister reported this to? I work in this area with vulnerable people who are all safeguarded by the Safe Guarding Adults Policy which is a joint policy between ACS and Police.. I cannot understand why a reg37 was not completed by the ward sister and sent to ACS and why they didnt call an official strategy with Police attendance and a allegation of possible neglect. The injuries your mum incurred would have to be body mapped by hospital and questions asked how she came to be in this state. As your mum has dementia she I am presuming does not have capacity? this is a element in neglect cases, even if it doesnt reach threshold for neglect there will be internal disciplinaries... CQC are the governing body who oversea all home care they should have been copied into complaint proceedure. It cant just disappear there WILL be a paper trail.

[terriersaregreat]

Have just come across your thread. I am soooo..... sorry that your Mum has suffered this way. I have tears in my eyes just reading this and am so angry too.

 

My very best wishes and perhaps its time to get a wee bit cross with this system.

 

TAG

[Mr lex]

Hi folks,

 

I haven't posted for a couple of days as I have been waiting to hear how Mum has settled into her new home. This is a long stay for her in the local hospital with a Dementia ward at last and only 5 mins from her home and my Dad, this has to be better than being moved from pillar to post.

 

Chilove, Thanks for that I've ordered a copy of 'Contented Dementia by Oliver James' and look forward to reading it, I'm pleased you Dad has some degree of consistency in his life now. I'm sure half of my Mums problems are as much to do with being moved to where ever there was a spare bed as to her condition, it would confuse the hell out of me waking up in a strange bed every other day.

 

Hi Muffintop,

 

The ward sister reported the events to the NHS head of Mental care at the hospital. I now have this person's phone number but I'm having trouble getting past her PA !! I understand that an investigation is being held at the moment. She had five falls in this home, one was a collision of zimmer frames which resulted in the other person being admitted to hospital that day !! As I'm not next of kin, I expect they will inform my Dad as to the outcome. I'll have to read up reg37 as I am not sure what form this complaint took. Thank you for your input.

 

Many thanks for your kind words TAG, I am so angry the way she has been treated.

 

On a brighter point, my Dad is happier now he does not have to drive 40 miles each time he goes to see her and is content that the treatment she is now getting is right for her. The settled environment and new drugs do seem to be helping get some peace at last.

 

Thank you everyone for your support and input.

 

Lex

[Night Owl]

Hi Lex.

Great news that your mum has had a chance to settle down in her new home, and only a short distance for your dad too.

Your mum needs some consitency, and good tailored help, to help her settle.

But more importantly you and your dad need to be happy too.

 

Good luck Lex, and your mum and dad x

[terriersaregreat]

Great to hear some good news and that now your Mum will receive the correct treatment and of course that your Dad who must also be suffering as a relative has is wife almost next door.

 

Take care of yourself too.

 

TAG

[Mr lex]

Thanks as always for your support folks !!

 

Not much more to say other than Mum has settled into her new home well as seems to be making some progress.

 

The new drugs seem to be working well, my Dad has a staff meeting with all departments on the 15th, so we wait to see the outcome.

 

If anyone knows their 'drugs' Dad says she is now on 'Amisultide' at a rate of 50mg at 1pm and again at 9pm, any clues here ??

 

I''m still trying to get Dad to post..........

 

Thanks again,

 

Lex

[Night Owl]

Hi Lex.Does your Dad have anyone going to the meeting with him? It may be worth him taking someone just so that he does not miss anything he is being told and so that he can have time to ask questions rather than being 'told' what is happening.Not sure of the medication, Amisulpride, (not used in my area) but found this, http://alzheimers.org.uk/site/scripts/documents_info.php?documentID=110Come on Mr Lex Senior....... don't be shy......... we don't bite!!! muchGood luck x

[Mr lex]

Haha NightOwl !!

 

Good idea, I'll ask my brother to go with him, at least he can take notes if needed. Sometimes it's a lot to take in at these 'meetings'

 

Lex

[Night Owl]

Sounds like a good plan.

[Mr lex]

Hi every one,

 

I have some good news, I'm hoping my Dad will tell you himself !!

 

Lex

[Night Owl]

Awaiting in anticipation Lex.

 

Hello Mr Lex Senior.

[Mr lex]

He will be PapaLex, if he finds he's way here Nighty LoL.

 

But it was good news today:-D, I'll update tomorrow if my Dad hasn't done so.......

 

Lex

[Night Owl]

I can't wait to hear the good news.

 

Sleep tight and mind the bed bugs don't bite x

[Mr lex]

I will sleep well tonight, and thank you for your support Nightie

 

Lex

[Mr lex]

A sad and final update for my friends and supporters here,

 

My dear old Mum passed away in the early hours of this morning. She was in Hospital and had complcations with her Kidneys and Lungs. Just old age catching up.

 

I'll just have to keep my eye's on my Dad now, 60+ years is a long time to spend with the one person.

 

Many, many thanks for your help and support over the past couple of years.

 

Lex

[honeybee13]

Hello, Mr lex. I'm very sorry to hear that. It must have been hard to tell us.

 

May she rest in peace.

 

HB x

[MARTIN3030]

Sad to hear this Alex I am sure you are in many peoples thoughts right now.