Benefits, Children and Ex Girlfriend's!!

[squidgy]

Hi guy's,

 

This is a bit of a long one so please bear with me! Myself and my ex girlfriend have a 4 year old son. We split up a couple of years ago but things are still pretty amicable. I work abroad a lot as there is no work available down where the ex lives. I left my current job before and took the only job locally which lasted 12 months but I was dreadfully unhappy, worn out due to the excessive hours and shifts and was spending less quality time with my son than when I was away at sea (current job). I work 3 months away then get 2 months off which I spend with my son. I have always supported him financially until recently.

 

My ex has always claimed benefits. I was paying £200 per month since the day my boy was born in support. When I was home I was also purchasing food for the house (I crash with the ex when home), anything he needed I would buy or we go halves on. I have never said no to financial support for him.......Ever (even though I'm 40K in debt). My ex has between 30K and 50K in savings (in sons account), only works 2 days a week, get's all the benefits, caribean holiday once a year, house given to her by family, car giving to her and running costs paid and has her own business (parents name although only just made a profit). My son has just started full time education.

 

This is the thing. I stopped paying her a weekly ammount a few months back. I desperately wanted to stay with my son. I was prepared to go bankrupt, get emergency housing blah, blah and take any job I could get to be near him. My ex started to complai as this might affect her cosy lifestyle! (Can you believe it?!). Thats when I decided to go back to sea. I worked out the money she was getting from benefits etc, the overpayment I had forked out over the years (where's that gone?) and realised she's on a tidy little number!! So basically I've said I'm not paying her anything. Anything he needs, anything she spends on him etc we split. simple. She said it's too difficult for her to do as she doesnt have the time (what? working 2 days a week!?!? for her mother?!!?).

 

So, wher do I stand with respect to the law? She say's she's entitled to 15% of my salary? I say she's not entitled to benefits (savings etc) and certainly not entitled to my salary as she's conned the social! Also she continues to go on that she's the "primary carer" and so has more rights than me? How can she as I've always been around since he was born?! Obviously I don't want to get her in trouble because that will benefit no one but I need to know where I stand.

 

Sorry about the long post guy's but any advice will be greatfully received.

[stardust_john]

Do you have proof of the payments paid to her?

 

You were aware she was on benefits yet paid the money to her, if you want recodnition for any monies paid then pay through csa or make official agreement, I am sure they will let you know what you should pay to them.

[squidgy]

Yeah I've got proof. I knew she was on benefits, I can't tell her what to do. My son's my priority. I've never took a penny off the social.

 

Thing is we still have a fairly amicable relationship so I don't want any money back but the point is where do I stand legally? Taking everything into account surely she still wouldn't be entitled to a percentage of my salary?

 

As for an official agreement thats one thing I need clarifying. I'm not prepared to give her a weekly/monthly payment so that it just top's up her holiday fund or gives her a few extra quid for a night out. Any money I give her I want to know that it's going towards my son. Just to clarify I also said when I'm on leave I'll pay any expenses and he can stay with me.

 

If she wants to make an issue of it and get the CSA or whoever involved where do I stand? I've said there's no problem getting money she just has to let me know how much she spent on him and we'll split it. She say's that's too complicated?!?

 

I'm sticking to my gun's anyhow. The little guys in fulltime education now so she can get off her spoilt backside and get back to work fulltime like everybody else. Then we don't have this trouble.

 

Just want to know where we both stand in the eyes of the law.

[ErikaPNP]

If she gets the CSA involved, then yes they can take 15% of your salary in respect of one child. They cannot take it if you live abroad, but if you are working abroad for a UK based company they can. The payments would only be effective from the date she puts the claim in. They won't backdate further than that. The sum can also be decreased depending how many times you have your son overnight per year or if you submit a variation request for visiting him.

 

In regard to benefits, child support does not have to be declared for Tax Credit but it does for other means tested benefits. They used to link everything but that changed last year. If you pay her child support adn she receives for example, Income Support it is her responsibility to tell Income Support how much child support she receives and they will adjust her payments accordingly. Basically if she receives Income Support she can keep up to £20 per week before it will affect her payments.

 

Fraud. - If you have been living as a couple when you are not working, then technically she should not have claimed as a single person. Again even if you were not living as a couple, but you were contributing to the household expenses, she should have declared this. Given the carribean holidays etc, it does sound as if she has excess income over requirements - i.e, has too much to be able to claim benefit!!

 

To see how a CSA claim could affect your wage, you can do a calculation here: https://secureonline.dwp.gov.uk/csa/v2/en/calculate-maintenance.asp

 

If you refuse to pay via the CSA they can do allsorts nowadays, such as attaching a deductions of earnings order to your salary, and far more besides, unless of course there is a question of paternity.

[squidgy]

Thanks,

 

I do work abroad but not for a british company. How does that affect things? I'm not out the country constantly but am out long enough to qualify not to pay tax.

 

I'm not trying to get out of paying I just want to be sure of my rights the next time she starts throwing this rubbish at me.

 

It's wrong how she can still claim so much off me when I've always supported her and my son, I'm still trying to and she's living the life of bloody Reilly on benefits!!

[ErikaPNP]

Hmmm.....not too sure on that one. I know if you reside abroad but work for a UK based company, the armed forces or the civil service then they can chase a person.

 

I know that if you live abroad and work for a company abroad then they can't touch you, but she could take it to the courts under REMO (Reciprocal Enforcement of Maintenance Orders).

 

But living in the UK and working abroad for a company that's based abroad has stumped me, and I don't know if REMO would cover it. I'll try to find out. I can't guarantee I'll find anything out, as that's a new one on me but I'll let you know either way. Tomorrow night at the latest, is that ok for you?

Edited May 12, 2009 by ErikaPNP

[squidgy]

Hey thanks!

 

Much appreciated! =)

[ErikaPNP]

Hi, I found out for you today. As you are habitually resident in the UK then yes they can continue to chase you for maintenence, however it would be very difficult for them if you were non compliant. What they would do if she submitted a claim is they would send you an MEF (A form informing you of her claim, and asking you to provide details of your income). From your income details they would calculate maintenence (15% for one child, 20% for two, 25% for three or more) and make any deductions for overnight stays as appropriate. They would then ask you to either pay her directly or pay via them. If you refused to provide details of your Income, or did provide details but refused to pay they would have to try to get you in court to try and "force" you to provide. They could not attach a deductions of earnings order as the company is not UK based.

 

Bottom line is they can chase you but if you don't comply it can be very difficult for them to prove how much you earn in order to make a calculation etc. HOWEVER if you are non compliant and they DO manage to get you into court, by that time you could find yourself facing arrears of CSA, dating back to the date the MEF was sent out to you.

[Lula]

If she is claiming fraudulently and working then I think it highly unlikely that she would be so stupid as to rock the boat with the benefits agencies, you have the upper hand here, you should just mention the fact that you know about her claims and benefit fraud and she should be careful that someone does not make an anonymous call the to benefit fraud hotline.

 

Whether or not you followed up on that would be up to you, morally, you should, but that is up to you

[ErikaPNP]

I should also point out that if you find yourself in arrears with the CSA they CAN increase the payments to 40% of your net income until the arrears are paid off, but again it's gonna be hard for them to play catchy catchy!!

 

As Lula pointed out, it's highly doubtful she'd take the risk seeing as you know all about her (alleged) dodgy dealings!

[squidgy]

Thanks for the advice! I hope I didn't take up too much of your time! =)

 

Lula, it's all good and well saying, morally, I should report her but then what? What happens when I have to go away to work? If there's friction between the parents it's not good for my son. At the minute, when I'm on leave I live with her (also against benefit claim??) but what would happen then when I get back?? It's very easy to throw around advice like that ' off the cuff' so to speak but if it was you and your child in the same situation what would you do??

 

So, in summary, what we are saying is that she could put a claim in if she wanted to but it would be very difficult for the CSA to pin me down and hold me to anything. Her actions would be frowned upon due to the fact I've been paying her more than £20 per week and I've been living with her and contributing to the house hold bills.

 

What about the savings issue? She claims it doesn't matter how much you have in savings you can still make a full claim?? Is this true?? I'm sure for some benefits there's a limit on the ammount you can have in savings??

 

Once again thanks!!

[Lula]

Squidgy, I most certainly do not make off the cuff comments about reporting benefits cheats, my child would never be in the same situation because I wouldnt be trying to milk it from both ends.

 

As far as the savings and benefits there is a limit and I think it is probably quite low.

 

Basically, if she is doing all the things that you say she is doing then she is a thief plain and simple.

 

Is your name on the birth certificate? have you parental responsibility or whatever they call it? If so, you have rights, very clear, she cannot refuse you access to your child, you can apply to have visitation through a court.

 

As or staying with her when you are in the UK and you paying towards the bills and food, if she is in receipt of benefits, then yes, that is against the rules too.

 

No one is really going to tell you any different.

[funtimex]

They don't take into account any savings if she is on WTC od CCT, only if she is on income support. However, is the interest is over £300 per year, she must declare this under "other income".