adhd/autism

[Bookworm]

Lindsay, if you have a copy of his old DLA forms, fill the new one side by side with the old one, it will help you not forgetting anything important.

[lindsay22]

hi all, been a bad week my boys sna has gone off on the sick and its hit him hard. he is being picked on by some other boys, today one of these boys kicked him in head in front of the class teacher who did nothing. so for the rest of the day my boy was very distessed and would not settle. so when i went to collect him i was given a letter to say he had a 2 day exclusion the reasons being he had breathed on another childs dinner and he had been disruptive throughout the day.

well i hit the roof and told the head i would challenge it and it was illegal. she she agreed to reduce the exclusion to 1 day???

i have rang parent partnership and they have agreed with me and want to have a meeting with the school to find out whats going on.

i am also writing a letter to the school governers.

[maybelline]

lindsay22, there certainly seems to be a history of exclusion for your child, I would take the help from parent partnership and see what they can do, if this does not begin to see these exclusions stopping or at least reducing then try an independent like IPSEA or ACE. imho parents of kids on the spectrum spend a lot of energy fighting the system because it just is not geared up for them and sometimes home ed if they can, this was not an option for us althoug in reality my kid spent years 'off' school, either way what you need is consistency.

best wishes.

[Bookworm]

FFS.

 

Good for you, Lindsay. It makes me so mad that these people, who are supposed to look after our children's best interests, can treat them in such a manner.

 

Yes, they're not easy to handle, yes, they try anyone's patience, yes, everyone would be happier if they were little angels, well guess what? So would THEY!

 

GO get 'em, and kick some educational ass.

 

Let us know what happens.

 

{{{HUGS}}} to you and your poor lad.

[mariejader]

OHM what a day you have had

 

Regarding the exculusion have a look here

 

IPSEA: exclusion, special educational needs and disability: support sheets.

 

Your complaint should be addressed to the head of the school and also the head of the governers, I would also make enquiries within your local authority for the name of the person who is responsible for the governers (they do not work in the schools but are employeed by the local authority) they are based within the authority. (does that make sense? )

 

Do you know if the boy who kicked your child in the head was punished, and what form of punishment did he receive? was the head injury written in the accident book, and what method did school use to advise you of this? my son's old school had stickers that they gave the children which said something like I bumped my head today, it was just another way of informing the parents there was a head injury (often the letters about accidents would go missing).

 

A copy of the schools bullying policy is also a good idea to have to hand.

[maybelline]

Asperger and ASD UK Online Forum

lindsay, here is another link, they have a lot of resources, advice etc that might prove useful:)

[lindsay22]

hi all, went in school this morning and explained what had happened, as i had the full story from my son.

the other boy who is prefect followed my boy into the classroom and got him in a headlock and kicked him hard in the head. my boy ran away and went into the library where the other boy followed him and started to throw things at him. my boys sna then approached and took my son away and told him to calm down.

the other boy has not been punished, by the time i got into school i was furious and i have told the school i will be coming in again at home time to find out what has happened as regards to the other boy, as they say they will investigate my boys allegations lol

i ahve told school if it happens again i will call the police seen as they are not interested.

i have wrote a letter today to the school governers and i also added that i expect there support when i challenge his statement with the lea.

[maybelline]

hi lindsay, good luck with this, I found my boy could not lie, the logical way of thinking, still cannot, and has a hightened sense of fair play, sticks to the rules!

[lindsay22]

my boy cant lie neither, it just takes a long time for him to be calm enough to explain exactly what happened. went into school and the other boys parents had been brought in. so at least they have done something even if it is a little to late.

[maybelline]

well done, why shouldnt they be even handed

[lindsay22]

hiya all, feeling really down today. my boy got excluded again on friday for one day, he was apparantly running aroung school with another child with special needs and then swore at his teacher. still had no response from the school governer regarding the letter i sent in november.

i am at work all day yet school think its ok to call the number i gave them for emergancys (my managers number at work) to call about silly little things like he has mud on his pants can i bring some clean ones.

feeling like i am not coping well at the moment and snapping at my boy, which makes me feel even worse.

[maybelline]

hi lindsay, wow, if I could count how many days like that I've had - you have done so well already so try not to let it get you down, take five and remember you can only do so much and the school has its role and you yours:)

 

maybe you can do a mini action plan when you get afew minutes to see if there is a follow through you can do to your letter and copy over to school governors so it cannot be ignored, maybe you can involve a local councillor or the GP so that it is not all 'down to you', you have enough on your hands. best wishes.

[maybelline]

I would contact IPSEA or whichever organisation you have found, maybe NAS to support you and run it by them also, IPSEA actually wrote letters expressing their concern to me education authority, (maybe called something else now) but you may have to nag abit to get something off to the school to send a rocket up them (if necessary).

[mariejader]

Give your local council a call and find out the name of the head of the governors within governors services, this person will be employeed by the council and is responsible for all school governors, send a copy of the letter to them explaining your concerns and asking why are your letters being ignored?

[lindsay22]

thanks will call the council first thing, i had my boys re intergration interveiw today and the head said she had read the letter i sent to governers...so why no reply? plus it was not addressed to her.

they have now decided he cannot go the breakfast club in the mornings no notice given to me??

i am really fed up with them, i am now desperatly trying to rearange my plans for him in the morning, as school know full well that i have to work.

[mariejader]

why can't he go to breakfast club?

[GlasweJen]

This screams disability discrimination, shouldn't they be "reasonably adjusting" so that he can attend breakfast club like other kids? Honestly they push all these statistics that kids who eat breakfast perform better, they make all these incentives and then they exclude a disabled child from having breakfast and games with his friends. Sickening. I'd be making an appointment with the governer to ask why you never got a reply to your letter but the head was allowed to read it.

[maybelline]

what are the issues with breakfast club? does your son enjoy it, are they as previous poster maybe suggest, just adjusting for their own good rather than your childs good? they do not seem to be able to think creatively about a possible solution to some of the more obvious issues. sadly some schools just do not understand at best and at worst think if they do nothing long enough you will go away.

 

has your council done any kind of assessment for your son and one for YOU so that you can exercise your right to go to work as necessary and not be rung up all the time because their is no beneficial plan of action in place. of course there has to be flexibility on all sides, and when things go wrong we have to all admit we got it wrong and work to make it right, it is a real challenge because the parents end up being the ones that have to step up and put their very real anger at the failings of professionals to one side to sort it out at great emotional and practical expense (rant) I do hope they get on board soon and admit they are failing your son and try to offer something that will help.

[mrsc]

Hi Lindsay22,

 

Sorry to hear you are having such a hard time,it's about time someone got there finger out (Not you:) ) and got this sorted out.(not very good at putting it into words)

 

Has there been any problems at breakfast club for them to stop him going ?

[lindsay22]

hi all, thanks for the replys it really helps. he is not allowed at breakfast club because apparanly the lady who goes in to see him every now and again says so??? according to the head she says its not a good idea as they have to use lots of stratagys to settle him?

they rang up twice today and told my partner to calm him down over the telephone or they would exclude him again today. they are also trying to stop him going swimming?

rang the education today and told them the exclusions were very frequant and something needs to give, lady on the phone did not seem bothered and said she would speak to school?

went in school today and said i was not happy and they basically said if my boy sweras they need to exclude him, otherwise hes getting away with it??

his schoolwork has really improved the only problem they have is that when he is worked up he swears and crys.

i have got his annual review this thursday and i am gonna give them what for, think theyve something sneaky up there sleeve because the head today said they will discuss some new things with me then but was very reluctant to tell me today?

i shall also be taking my digital camera to show the people from the education the photos of my sons neck after one of the support staff had gripped him by his collar and scratched all his neck.

dont think i can take any more,feel like they are grinding me down.

[maybelline]

I know it feels really terrible now lindsay but do not despair, you are right to be cross and use this to tackle the issues one by one.

 

I am afraid what you are being told 'getting away with it' IS DISGRACEFUL, it shows a complete ignorance of autism and the way the type of support required and that is not neurotypical punitive responses, lets teach him a lesson nonsennse and he will 'realise' next time.

 

however, tackling them head on is not easy as you are trying to educate them and tell them their job so they will be naturally defensive. keep what is best for your child in the short term and then the long term in mind, if the school dont care if his real needs get lost in a battle with the parents make sure they cant achieve this, all too often the parents just walk away feeling defeated - it is okay to walk away if you choose this is right for your child and this is the way to approach it IMHO:)

 

step back and find a rear guard action, sounds like a battlefield I know, be clever about it and bring board some help.

 

I am not telling you what to do just thinking of some of the things I tried, and taking a step back sometimes gives you the space and energy to come back at them even harder and specially equipped.

 

I know its not much help but there are so many others out there who know exactly what you are talking about, I have the rudest of letters from staff and sencos, you would be shocked but now my son is in college and doing some great things, so take heart:)

[lindsay22]

hiya all, my boy been excluded again today for half a day, a support teacher grabbed him by the arm the he swore at her. school knows that my boy deplores physical contact. they have not investigated why he swore and straight away rang me at work.

i have hold the school i was looking for another school and the head told me that all schools would exclude him for swearing???

[maybelline]

no wonder you are cross and fed up! maybe its time to request a meeting with someone senior, maybe your area education officer, the educational psychologist, what does the Statement if you have one say about how to lessen flashpoints and how to reduce enviromental triggers?

 

have a look on the NAS website, they have some excellent info for schools and print it off or email it to the school:)

[maybelline]

The National Autistic Society - For educational professionals in schools

 

here.

[lindsay22]

hi maybelline, i have printed off stuff from nas and showed them and its just been ignored. just wrote another letter the the school governers not as nice as the one lol

thanks for your support