Grumpy Old Men (& Women) Thread.

[Conniff]

Always ready to learn new stuff!

 

Did you know that in the human body there is a nerve that connects the eyeball to the anus?

 

It's called the Anal Optic Nerve, and it is responsible for giving people a s***ty outlook on life.

 

If you don't believe it, pull a hair from your arse and see if it doesn't bring tears to your eyes.

 

My public service is done for the day!

 

Keep laughing...life is too short to take too seriously...

[heliosuk]

Obviously on the assumption that you have hairs coming out of your arse and obviously you check conniff

[scaniaman]

I've just got a terrible row from the LHO----Conniff's post 51 made me WET MY DRAWERS LOL

[heliosuk]

LHO must need a haircut Scania but don't do what I did recently.

SWMBO bounced in from the hairdressers one Friday afternoon and said "what do you think?" Looked up from thepaper and said "about what"? My hair cut was the reply. Oh yes I said.......how much was that? £80 she responded. **** me I said. The ****** dog only cost £30............can't you go there?

 

Needless to say I had to eat in the works canteen for a week which has a poor reputation but found it a very pleasant surprise.

 

Haven't dared broached that one yet but atleast my shedis now fully insulated and has all blokey comforts!!

[scaniaman]

WTF---£80 quid for a hair cut.! Where was she?----Londons West End!

Am just away to have my hair cut by the LHO----typical Scotsman---anything to save a fiver.

[heliosuk]

So you saying she charges you £75?????????????

 

Go to the dog groomer mate!! £30 all in and you get lots of cuddles and treats. Come out smelling like a nancy boy though!

 

Of course the alternative could be to visit a real gent's barbers with a red revolving pole, the empthasis being on "pole" wink wink.

[Conniff]

So the DPF is not done by an order of Europe, it's the cheapest to manufacture system there is. So why not just have a paper filter and be able to change it yourself for a tenner - rip-off again.

[Conniff]

I've asked on lots of threads for someone to send me or post up the after market warranty Terms & Conditions. Despite lots saying yes, they never do, so we will never be able to get to the bottom of the legality of the warranty.

[scaniaman]

Aftermarket warranty T&Cs. LOL LOL. I seem to remember chasing the life out of arnold shark to send me their warranty T&Cs. They consistantly sent me, even via TS, a copy of the T&Cs pertaining to their sales proceedure.

They claimed that the warranty was not transferrable but i NEVER saw that in writing although there may have been something on their sales leaflet. So, i sold the car privately and since i got an excellant price, told the buyer if he had a problem just to inform me. There was a relatively small problem so I took the car back myself and had it rectified. Same with service plan.

[scaniaman]

What causes an old man to become grumpy???????

[heliosuk]

Buying an excellant French product from Arnold Clark..................just off to the Anderson shelter chaps !!

[Conniff]

I bet it has a good rate of interest and a 'no quibble' return for whatever reason and have your money back in full plus taxi fare home warranty.

Edited November 22, 2012 by Conniff

[Conniff]

What causes an old man to become grumpy???????

 

Experience and learning that 'every' company on this planet is out to rip you off for as much they can. They have also learned that even if you get a ccj against them, they can stick their middle finger up to the courts and there is nothing the courts can do.

Edited November 22, 2012 by Conniff

[scaniaman]

Completely wrong answers guys!!!!

However, anyone who has dealings with arnold shark will become grumpy, irrespective of age.

[heliosuk]

Here's one to think about!

Why is it that legislation makes us engineers develop more and more complex systems for emission control and other things yet basics like lorries giving off spray on wet motorways seems to be totally ignored for the last 30 years? They still have open wheels. There is no need for this but nobody seems to do anything about it. M6 this morning was a nightmare. Stick freight on a train I say. The Victorians seemed to know what they were doing.

What gets me is the freight industry moan about fuel costs but do sweet FA when it comes to road safety. We have a rail system which in reality is pretty dammed good and could be made very much better. Get freight off the road and on to the rails I say. At least then one of the major contributors to the issue won't get the free publicity they get from a naff program on channel five although they do look to help alledgedly.

[Conniff]

Isn't it always like this! Look how long it took for someone to come up with the idea of putting wheels on the bottom of suitcases. I think it is the simple and common things that are missed.

 

As you say, we have, or at least had, a superb rail system, everyone used the railways. there were sidings behind factories, the Royal Mail sorted mail everynight on the move and then greed stepped in. Some new boss walked in with the misguided belief that they were indispensable, there was no alternative and upped the price even though Royal Mail could deliver by air far cheaper, (as well as faster), and that factory/distributor could buy his own lorry and employ a driver at a lower cost than rail. They do themselves out of business.

 

As for spray from lorry wheels, doesn't that show what a good job the designers and 'engineers' of the tyre companies have made, all that water being pumped out to the side instead of flowing underneath with the consequential risk of aquaplane.

The brushes at the trailing edge turn the spray into large droplets and help a lot so why can't they have the whole wheel encased in bristles? maybe they have tried it (or other methods) without success. Someones cue there to make their fortune.

[scaniaman]

Dear Mr. Heliosuk, If you don't stop posting "waste material" like this about the haulage industry, you will leave me with no alternative but to decend upon your abode and administer a seriously heavy "chap on the broo".

 

For decades they have tried to put freight on the railways and at every turn the railways founder because of their inefficiency. Rail freight is only of use where you want to take full train loads of material from AtoB. To load a train you need a lorry to get products from source to railhead and the same at the other end. In large industry nowadays, they can't afford to carry high stock levels so "Just in Time " deliveries are the norm (ask Ford);

 

In regards to spray suppression, this law, rather like DPF, was rushed in without giving guys like you sufficient resources to invent something efficient. Many different methods were tried but none were efficient above speeds of 50mph. The cost of maintaining these systems can be horrendous especially where frozen snow or worse, frozen slush is present. Some systems have bristles covering the upper half of the wheel close to the tyre.

 

Now for the nitty gritty.

1. Drivers are required to check wheel nuts before starting each shift. They are also required to look / kick the tyres to determine that they are reasonably inflated. Failure to comply with the above can lead to prosecution if involved in an accident. Also the very high cost of replacing tyres if ruined by underinflation is unthinkable.. So you can't enclose wheels---especially steered wheels.

 

2. In containing all the water and S--t between the wheels would lead to a severe reduction in braking efficiency in the short term and would lead to severe brake system deterioration through the ingress of all this muck and salt when used. Cold air needs to circulate round the brakes to prevent them from overheating.

 

The TV programme you refer to in no way reflects the true picture in relation to the road haulage industry.

To all those who down cry the lorry, i say ban them and the nation starves.

Edited November 22, 2012 by Conniff

[Conniff]

Yea, so .........

[heliosuk]

That's why Hadrian had the foresight to build a wall Scania.........keep you chaps out!

 

Yeah sure it shows that the tyre engineers have done a good job but the engineers need to design a switchable way to divert this shed water the right way. There should be more freight on the railways anyway. It's cheap, it's efficient, it's enviromentally friendly and it doesn't cause a hazard. I think operators are very irresponsible with this and those that make the effort to contain it or reduce it considerably should get reduced RFL.

 

BTW, had the latest future emissions control for diesels stuff through the other day............your just going to love it!!!!!!!!!!

 

Buy a petrol fuelled car and go LPG with it!!!

 

FREIGHT OFF THE ROAD

 

Oh and before I forget tyre bursts are most probably down to poor maintenance or overloading which again is rampant on our motorways and don't get me started on their driving standards as well. There has been a marked deteriation in that with Class 1. Roll on the electronic tachographs that will cut an engine if driver overtime, adaptive distance control, speed limiters for white van man. With luckit will force operators to use a rail system which the victorians proved bloody well could work. The conservatives ****ed it up by privatising it. Like most other stuff they touched.

Edited November 22, 2012 by heliosuk

[scaniaman]

NO NO NO. Railways are not cheap---they are subsidised up to the hilt. They are not efficient for freight as whole wagons have been known to Vanish in marshalling yards. Except for bulk, they are slow to load. Rail freight is only efficient on very long journeys but uk is too small for such journeys. Rail freight in uk is only viable in cases EG: coal pit to power station.

There is a way to significally reduce spray but it is so simple the Hooray Hendry brigade would not accept it.

[heliosuk]

Yes there is Scania. Ban lorries from the road when wet. Park em up in services or stick the stuff on the railways or even better make them pay for the damage they actually do to the roads. I expect to see more going by rail. Mr Stobbart is notstupid...........even he has worked out that rail has significant advantages over roadfreight.

[popeyethesailortam]

What causes an old man to become grumpy???????

 

Tiredness due to having to get up 4 times a night to pee!

[heliosuk]

Speak for yourself I'm sure popeye................too much time in the hammock wears................Hmmmm.

 

Freight off the road and on to rails............less subsidy to network rail...........less lorries............less pollution.............less spray for once ........less accidents caused by truckers asleep.

 

I am rapidly comming to the conclusion that lorries could actually be the cause of economic stagnation.

[scaniaman]

Pot Kettle Black---your post 7---Soga mot!!!!????

The lorry road tax paid both now and in the past more than covers damage to our very poorly made roads--see germany for instance.

So why don't some of you very clever chaps design roads to shed water more efficiently and in your spare time design spray suppressants that are more efficient---no more research since original laws came out!!

Stobbart and the likes use rail because of the subsidies, but you still have to get goods to railheads and onwards to end user. We, north of hadrians wall also use this system and the only benefit is that it keeps poor lorry drivers off the killer road, the A9.

Accidents caused by lorry drivers falling asleep? Well, what do you expect---high powered trucks, limited to 54-56 mph on motorways---drivers have nothing to do so they get bored and fall asleep. In the good old days a driver had to DRIVE every inch of his journey. My last truck was so old that it didn't have one of those ridiculous speed limiters fitted so i had to stay very focused on motorway journeys----in England where you have more than your fair share of motorways!!!!

Like it or not, lorries are the life blood of this country, and briton's work force would do well to follow the example set by PROPER lorry drivers--few left as they are. I do however agree that hgv driving standards have perhaps deteriorated a little since lorry drivers were replaced by chauffeurs, brought about largely by supermarkets and the like----lorry drivers wearing collar and tie ---what next??????????????/

[heliosuk]

Que post 7?