Am i just being over sensitive

[fiyah]

Hi people,

i will try to keep this as brief as possible without leaving things i consider important out.

 

For the past few weeks ive not been my usual self at work and this has been noticed by my manager who has made comments to other people but not actually asked me myself if there is anything wrong.

 

Things finally came to a head on Monday where my manager took me into the office with the assistant manager as a witness. He didnt ask me to start off with if there is anything wrong he just tore strips off me saying i was THE worst team leader on his management team, my performance is diabolical and hes not going to tolerate it anymore. I was sitting there feeling myself getting more and more upset but not wanting my boss to see this. After about 10 minutes of him slating my performance and saying theres 101 people out there who could do your job better he actually asked me if there was anything wrong me......to which i just blurted out yes im pregnant! which isnt a lie.

 

He asked what i was going to do, was i going to keep it and if i was i needed to decided within the next few days so i could have some "easier shifts" no mention was made about me not pulling heavy deliveries in off lorries on my own or all the lifting and carrying i do and going without breaks because we are short staffed but thats by the by

 

After me sitting sobbing my heart out in front of them both i told them everything that had been going on, an ex of mine had been following me home from work, he had beaten me up on 3 seperate occassions and my boss had seen the black eyes i had come to work with and the split lips but never mentioned it to me just asked other colleagues, things had become that bad that i had had to get a temporary restraining order against my ex and at times i was jumping at my own shadow.....i really am living on my nerves atm. Im awake at 2am every morning with that much stuff going thru my head i feel like my head is going to explode.

 

Well, he eventually let me go home and said he "could sort of understand now"

I walked out of the store still in floods of tears in front of all my colleagues looking at me, i tried to keep my head down until i got out of sight then the tears just came again and i sat in my car for about 10 minutes just crying.

 

Anyways, i went into work the next day and the boss acted like nothing had been said between us and reminded me i had to goto a training course in Birmingham the next day and i had to be there for 2pm....which meant leaving work at 12.30pm to catch the train and get there on time.....which my boss agreed to. The next day at work was also promotion change and i was given a list of jobs to do when i came into work at 9am and this included helping our price controller put out 497 price change tickets, 270 advertising barkers, changing posters outside the store, jumping on the tills as and when needed and ensuring the store was running as it should be....there was another team leader there also who started at 6am.

 

This might not sound like much to do but the tickets are printed on A4 sheets of perforated paper, 16 tickets to a sheet which have to be torn up into individual tickets, the advertising barkers are also on A4 sheets of paper 4 to a sheet and these again have to be torn up and then put into plastic barker holders....the tickets and barkers are then sorted into aisle order to make it quicker to put out as your not walking from one side of the store then back and forth.

 

I said to him when he gave me my list of jobs that i was only there for 3.5 hours and i would do as much as i could before i left to catch the train......he didnt give me a reply and told me he didnt want any delivery left either for the duty manager at 2pm. He then went home and left me to it.

 

I came into work early on Wednesday morning as i knew we were going to struggle to get everything done so i thought i would make an early start. The price controller who i was helping had other jobs to do aswell besides putting tickets out, the legal stuff we call it which has to be completed by 10.30am.

 

Anyways, when i left at 12.30pm i had put all the price change tickets out and put out over 75% of the advertising barkers.....i passed this information onto the other team leader and i left to catch the train.

 

Yesterday i went into work to get locked in the office with the boss who once again tore strips off me, it didnt matter what i said about i had done as much as i could before i left....i should have stayed to make sure it was completed before i went to the course even if that meant i was late......im sorry but i dont do late as i think it is rude and unprofessional.

He then started to tell me that he has been interviewing people for a position he has available and the lad he has interviewed would make a great team leader, im off work now for 3 days and ive been told i have to make my mind up wether i still want to have a job after my 3 days off as the calibre of people he has been interviewing has made him realise that people who arent pulling their weight can be got rid of as theres people out there who would fill their places with ease.

 

This again has really upset me, the jobs he gave me to do are no way achieveable in the time i had....and i think he knows that deep down but wont admit it. I spoke to some colleagues who i was working with last night and they were in total shock that he could say something like that to me as they always see me running around at work doing 101 jobs at once,going without breaks, having my days off changed at short notice and without being asked....they are in shock like myself.

 

Now i dont know if im just being over sensitive considering my hormonal state or if he really is trying to make my life that uncomfortable i leave or he gets rid of me.

 

Ive worked for the same company for nearly 6 years, never had a warning about anything, never been told im under performing...so he knows im not my normal self but wont support me, if thats the right word to use.

 

Im in the union USDAW but i dont want to look silly and say all this to them for them to turn round and say its nothing.......i just dont know what to do anymore.

 

Ive just come back from the doctors and my blood pressure is thru the roof, which i knew as ive had a headache for the past 4 days which wont go away.

 

Am i just being a hormonal mess or what?

[sequenci]

Hello there.

 

I'm very sorry to learn about your situation. I don't believe you're being over-sensitive at all. This area is out of my specialism but I know a few people that are very much more clued up than me - So I'll ask them to help you.

 

Best wishes,

 

Seq.

[Ell-enn]

Hi there, I'm at work at the moment do don't have much time to spare. I'm really sorry you have been treated the way you have by your unfeeling bully of a boss. Ring your uniion straight away and get them involved - that's what they are there for and they won't think it's nothing! You are being bullied at work and that it serious!

[mariefab]

Definitely tell the union asap everything he said (I'm personallly outraged that he had the unmitigated gall to ask you if you were going to keep it!).

[honeybee13]

Hello there and welcome to CAG.

 

I don't think it's your hormones at all, the man sounds awful.

 

What is the best way we can help you, would you say please?

 

HB

[Sidewinder]

This is absolutely appalling. If it is the company I think it is then you need to speak to your OM or APM pronto and there should also be a confidential hotline for you to call as well. I would also agree with the posts above - get onto your Union Rep immediately. There are measures to protect you from this sort of treatment.

 

Document everything which has been said in writing at home - names dates and times.

[theghost]

Are you working at a supermarket? I have worked for britains largest sueprmarket and from what I saw this kind of pressure was normal at the store and jobs would go unfinished all the time.

 

I think you really need to decide what you want to do... quit or stay on.

 

if you want to stay on will you suck it up or try and push through with Union type stuff? If you are pregnant and have other o ngoing serious issues AND the manager is not being practical/fair then you probably could go forward with some action but you need to decide is it worth it? will you just end up being even more marginalised?

[citizenB]

fiya, is this a continuation of the issues you were having here..

 

 

http://www.consumeractiongroup.co.uk/forum/showthread.php?165863-Bullying-harrasment-at-work-and-on-Facebook

 

If so, let me know and I can merge the threads together so all the information is in one spot

[MENOPAUSALADY]

Hallo Fifah

 

Sounds to me like your employers are discriminating against you. They most probably knew you were pregnant before they started harrasing you. It might be a very good idea to go back to see your doctor and get some time off...like a fortnight at least. That way you can put some distance between what has been happening to you at work.

 

Also you can get some employment advise...............try the internet first. If you have internet access at home so much the better that way you can take a much needed break and fully inform yourself as to where you stand.

 

 

I went through something quite similar some years ago and ended up taking my employers to an employment tribunal, I did win. Not that i'm suggesting that is necessarily the route you'll need to take. But you definitely need to show yor employer that your not just going to roll over and be bullied.

 

kindest regards

 

MENOPAUSALADY

 

kindest regards

[MENOPAUSALADY]

appologies Fiyah......please excuse my typo in last message.

 

There is some very helpful info on the directgov website..............

 

 

..................if you feel i can be of any further help just ask, i'm not an expert but i do have personal experience of what you are going through.

 

Firstly I'd say, consentrate on recovering from the dreadful treatment your employer has subjected you too so far.

 

Once your officially off sick and you have regained your equilibrium and self esteem you can arm yourself with the relevant information you need and then decide which is your best next course of action.

 

again kindest regards

[honeybee13]

appologies Fiyah......please excuse my typo in last message.

 

There is some very helpful info on the directgov website..............

 

..................if you feel i can be of any further help just ask, i'm not an expert but i do have personal experience of what you are going through.

 

Firstly I'd say, consentrate on recovering from the dreadful treatment your employer has subjected you too so far.

 

Once your officially off sick and you have regained your equilibrium and self esteem you can arm yourself with the relevant information you need and then decide which is your best next course of action.

 

again kindest regards

 

Hello Menopausalady. I don't know if fiyah is still watching this thread with the other one going. She seems to have not been around for 10 days on the site. If you need to change typos, click on Edit Post at the bottom right hand side of the post in question, edit and resave. You have 24 hours to do that.

 

fiyah, going off sick is quite a radical solution. I don't know if it's the right action or not and would prefer to see some input from other members of the forum.

 

My best, HB

[MENOPAUSALADY]

Hi Honeybee

 

thanks for that. Just to let you know that although it may appear to you that I'm new to CAG, I'm not, some years ago I got some fantastic advice which helped me with RBS.

 

My purpose in suggesting that Fiyah takes some sick leave is to give her some time to regain her composure so that she can think straight. Having been through a very simialr experience myself I know how difficult it is to deal with work place bullying.

 

I've been on the directgov website and they have the following info :

"Your employer should put their disciplinary procedure in writing, and make it easily available to you. For example, they could give you the details in the staff handbook. The details should include:

• your employer's disciplinary procedure rules
  
• what performance and behaviour might lead to disciplinary action
  
• what action your employer might take
  

Your employer must also give you, in writing, the name of a person you can apply to if you are dissatisfied with your employer’s decision.

Your employer can also set out their own disciplinary procedures in your employment contract. If your employer has done this and did not follow it, you could sue them for breach of contract.

If your employer does anything you think is unreasonable during a disciplinary procedure, you should tell them in writing and suggest ways to resolve the problem. They may decide to carry on with the procedure anyway, in which case you might decide to use the issue as grounds for an appeal."

Perhaps you could pass this on to Fiyah

[honeybee13]

I'll try to pass it on to fiyah.