my like

[Guest Alexa85]

i like jokes... what about you ??

[jowalshy]

I like laughing at jokes

[Guest wino]

Theres nothing better then having a good laugh

 

Alexa85 have a look at this

 

http://www.consumeractiongroup.co.uk/forum/bear-garden/146940-tommy-cooper-jokes.html?highlight=Tommy+Cooper

[Paintball]

Wino, I'm loving these Tommy Cooper jokes ...

 

... but my colleagues aren't.

 

What's wrong with them?

 

 

[Guest wino]

I think the sillyer, sillier, stupider (I give up:confused:) the better:D

[Paintball]

Totally agree Wino

 

 

Why did the chewing gum cross the road?

 

..................

[Mrs_Ryan]

Cos it was stuck to the chickens foot!

[Paintball]

Haha Mrs R ... my fave daft joke

 

 

 

What did the crab do at the disco?

 

...........................................

[Lula]

he pulled a muscle

 

 

:-0

;-)

[Paintball]

Excellent Lula ... is the right answer ROFL

 

 

 

I caught my dog the other day sha****g a cabbage at the end of the garden

 

...................................................................

[Lula]

shakespeare walks into a bar, the landlord says i cant serve you, your bard!

[Paintball]

Excellent Lula ... is the right answer ROFL

 

 

 

I caught my dog the other day sha****g a cabbage at the end of the garden

 

...................................................................

 

 

He thought it was a cauli

 

 

 

 

Razz

[pinkduchess]

i think you have a thing about cabbages :o

[maddyrose1664]

Two fish in a tank. One says to the other, "How do you drive this thing?"

[Paintball]

i think you have a thing about cabbages :o

 

 

LOL You've found me out

 

:D

 

Two fish in a tank. One says to the other, "How do you drive this thing?"

 

[ukaviator]

Why does a Diver roll backwards into the water from his Boat?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

If you rolled forward, he would still be in the Boat. . .

[pinkduchess]

I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly; but when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank, proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it.

 

I went down the local supermarket, I said "I want to make a complaint, this vinegar's got lumps in it". He said "Those are pickled onions".

I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah, I thought "he's trying to pull a fast one".

 

I said to the Gym instructor "Can you teach me to do the splits?". She said "How flexible are you?". I said "I can't make Tuesdays".

 

 

I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase. I can hardly contain myself.

I met this gangster who pulls up the back of people's pants, it was Wedgie Kray.

I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds". I said "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".

 

I was having dinner with Garry Kasporov (the world chess champion) and there was a check tablecloth. It took him two hours to pass me the salt.

 

 

He said "You remind me of a pepper-pot", I said "I'll take that as a condiment".

 

And I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags, he's bisatchel.

 

 

 

A lorry-load of tortoises crashed into a train-load of terrapins, I thought to myself "That's a turtle disaster".

Four fonts walk into a bar. The barman says "Oi - get out! We don't want your type in here"

A jump-lead walks into a bar. The barman says "I'll serve you, but don't start anything".

[Guest wino]

I'm lovin it

[bigbutcute]

I went to the Library today to get a book on suicide, the librarian refused, she didn't trust me to return it.