Domestic abuse - please help

[bianca g]

Hello, I'm new here and this is my first post, sorry if I posted in the wrong place. I'm hoping you can help me to help my friend.

 

She lives with a man who has been violent in the past which has given her mental health problems. The police have been involved a couple of times and he was given a warning.

 

In the past she had a mental breakdown and she thinks her partner is trying to make her have another one with nasty remarks. He says terrible things to her like she's useless and shouldn't try to get a job because she'd be rubbish at it.

 

She doesn't work so she can't afford to leave him, but he's making her so unhappy,

 

I think she should get an injunction to make him stop but she's worried about their children being taken away. She doesnt know who to turn to and I'm worried about her.

 

Please help.

[BankFodder]

I'm afraid that I'm not especially familiar with the injunctions and orders et cetera that are available in these kinds of very difficult situations. What I am pretty certain of is that if there is some kind of proceedings begun while the partner is still living in the home then that will increase tensions to an intolerable level and also increase any danger.

I think this would mean that there would have to be a move to have the abusive partner excluded from the home.

How many children are there and why should she be worried that the children might be taken away? I have to say that if the children are living in a situation where they are aware that there is this level of abuse between their parents then it can only be extremely damaging to them and the sooner the matter was resolved and the home became a peaceful and stable environment for them, the better. I think this would absolutely require the removal of the abusive partner.

If the police have already been made aware of his abusive behaviour then it seems to me that the presumption will be in favour of her remaining at the home with her children.

One thing she should certainly do is start to keep a detailed log of what is going on. She needs to be extremely careful that this log is not discovered and in fact I think that there is an app which maybe allows a log to be kept and is stored off the phone and in the cloud somewhere. I will check it out and come back.

I very much hope that there will be others who have experience of this kind of thing either because they have been in this kind of situation or else because they have supported somebody who is in that situation who will be able to come along and give better advice.

Can you tell us more about the children please. I think that their well-being might be pivotal to finding a solution to the whole problem

[BankFodder]

Here is the app from the play store https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.newtonmobile.hestia&hl=en

 

I think there is an equivalent on the Apple store.

I think it provides advice and contacts but I also heard somewhere that it allows you to keep some kind of log.

I think keeping a log is extremely important – especially if there is any doubt as to whether one is going to be believed.

[BankFodder]

Also, here is a link https://www.hestia.org/domestic-abuse

 

https://www.hestia.org/brightsky