Earn Cash for XMAS (Just a bit of fun)

[Josh908]

Need a job?

 

Are you un-educated, unemployable and can't hold down a real job?

 

Can you read* from an instruction manual and bark threats down the phone?

(Read* we have picture cards for those that can't).

 

Then we have just the job for you!!!

 

Here at XYZ debt collectors we require a bunch of narrow minded, low self esteem individuals who are capable of working in a team (pack / scavenger) environment, but can't find work elsewhere.

 

We offer you a table and phone (a chair may be available after a qualifying period for the right candidate) and the opportunity for once in your miserable life to feel better about yourself by threatening strangers with debts which we have no legal entitlement to pursue.

 

We offer a fast track promotion scheme where you can progress to pack (I mean "team") leader if you can display the right aggressive (I mean "enthusiastic") approach to your work.

(Why not avenge all those pant-wetting incidents in the playground you experienced growing up; by blatantly flouting our legal requirements and threatening others).

 

So if you want to work for a bunch of scavengers who only survives by swooping down on other peoples cast offs then apply today. Please submit your CV to....

 

Extra bonus points for those who have an ASBO, any sort of GBH or ABH order and a short attention span.

 

We offer:

 

Performance related Salary

(Depends on who feels threatened enough to pay us that month)

 

Performance Bullying Bonus

(£1.00 per person who you reduce to tears down the phone)

 

Pension

(No pension scheme available as we won't be around that long)

 

 

 

##Funny how there seems to be a flurry of DEBT recovery activity before Christmas.

 

Kids... Christmas is cancelled... XYZ Debt Recovery have bills to pay.

[djgordyp]

Sorry, can't help you out there. Even if I was unemployed I don't think I meet the criterea. I am a human being not a moron :D

[Josh908]

I also want to say - DONT think I am making light of a heavily stressful time! I am NOT. I just want to try and make people understand that there is light at the end of the tunnel and realise that having a debt recovery agency on your back is NOT the end of the world. (Although it can feel like it sometimes).

 

Keep your chin(s) up and DO NOT PAY!!

 

The sooner we all realise there are rules and regulations then the sooner we all can get on with our lives!

 

Have a nice day - DO NOT PAY!! JOSH.

[djgordyp]

Totally agree with you. I have had many DCA letters over the years. I always file them in the same place. I even had a letter regarding a debt which was well over 6 years old, my new paper shredder thought it was very tasty. I think the first thing to do if you recieve one of these letters is don't panic.