Separation Advice in Scotland

[Scottie667]

Hi All

 

Will try to keep this brief and to the point, but looking for advice as all reasoning with my partner just doesn't seem to be working unfortunately. 

• Married with teenage kids.
• Mortgaged Property (in my sole name), both been in property for over 10yrs.
• I'm in a Protected Trust Deed, in my sole name. 

 

I can't really continue to live here as the environment is toxic and not good for anyone's health, especially the kids.

I'm looking to rent a property and continue to pay my mortgage (as my soon to be ex-wife will not pay it and it could potentially be repossessed as part of my TD).

These events would be cataclysmic to say the least.

The knock on effect professionally would end any prospects I have as a company owner.

 

What I'm really asking is, I'm planning on moving out into rented accommodation so that we can be separated for the min time to apply for a divorce.

 

I also want to retain my house.

I've got 5 yrs left on my mortgage that I have paid myself.

No contribution from the wife, not even to any bills.

Yes for a few years since we moved in, but none now. 

 

The question really is, if I move out, am I likely to lose the house or have to contribute payments to the mortgage to subsidise my wife.

I want a clean break and any other advice/prep for going to see a solicitor would be ideal.

[London1971]

A couple of points here, having been in your situation.

 

1. Before you do anything consult a good lawyer.

2. My lawyer told me that possession is 9 tenths of the law. Once you are out of the house, you are in a world of problems.  I experienced this myself.

 

It's a mistake to move out, if you do her lawyer could say that you abandoned your family, then she gets the house!  Once you leave you lose all power that you have, you will be paying a mortgage for a property that you no longer live in.  I was in that situation, it was impossible to get her out, and I ended up paying all the mortgage arrears, she paid nothing.

 

I have numerous friends who have thought they were doing the right thing by leaving, every one of them, me also if I could go back would have stayed.  Your wife needs to be the one to leave, grow up and pay rent somewhere. 

 

You do not leave end of!. Go see a good solicitor!!

[Scottie667]

Thanks London1971, it;s pretty much the same advice I've been getting from people who have went through it! It's a mental drain. Unfortunately looks like its going to have to get solicitors involved.

[London1971]

It is a difficult situation you find yourself. In an ideal world you’d both sit down in front of a solicitor and come to an amicable agreement to sell the house and split etc. Unfortunately this is very rarely the case.

 

Men have been conditioned that it’s the ‘right thing’ to leave the house etc, although legally it’s a terrible option.

 

Once you are out of the house you have lost all leverage in this situation. You won’t be allowed back in to see your kids etc, she won’t pay the mortgage, if nobody pays, you will be liable for half of it. She will have the power to halt the sale at anytime. Oh and if you both don’t pay, it’s both your credit files ruined.

 

You will be stuck paying a mortgage for a house you can’t live in, plus rent for a roof over your own head, indefinitely.

 

Thank goodness your kids are teenagers already , so custody issues won’t be such a problem.