Sick leave with work related stress - threatened with formal

[distresssed87]

My girlfriend has been signed off with work related stress for two weeks initially but is in no fit state to go back yet (the two weeks are almost up).

 

Her boss called today asking when she will back at work and told her is she gets signed off for another two weeks she will have to attend a formal meeting.

 

She is now more stressed than ever and this call and threat is hindering her recovery as she fears if she takes the time she needs to get better she'll lose her job

 

the boss is very unsympathetic and showed her poor support when she tried to approach him about her stress before she went off sick. The company have been forcing changes on her that add to her stress time and time again even though she voices her stress and worries every time they don't support her.

 

Can they sack her for being off sick?

Can they make her attended a formal meeting and threaten her with one if she doesn't come back?

Can they keep ringing and making her ring them and adding to her stress when she should be getting better (I'd welcome the calls if they were helping her but they don't)

 

Edited to add she is a permanent employee and has been there over two years.

 

Thanks

[think about it]

My girlfriend has been signed off with work related stress for two weeks initially but is in no fit state to go back yet (the two weeks are almost up).

 

Her boss called today asking when she will back at work and told her is she gets signed off for another two weeks she will have to attend a formal meeting.

 

She is now more stressed than ever and this call and threat is hindering her recovery as she fears if she takes the time she needs to get better she'll lose her job

 

the boss is very unsympathetic and showed her poor support when she tried to approach him about her stress before she went off sick. The company have been forcing changes on her that add to her stress time and time again even though she voices her stress and worries every time they don't support her.

 

Can they sack her for being off sick? Not for being off sick right now, but they are right to look in the long terms at her capability to fulfil her role.

 

Can they make her attended a formal meeting and threaten her with one if she doesn't come back? A formal meeting is perfectly run of the mill, although they ought to wait until she's well enough to return it's reasonable that they'd want to keep in contact with her, perhaps ask that the meeting be held at somewhere neutral? In the past I've even been to someone's home to meet with them.

 

Can they keep ringing and making her ring them and adding to her stress when she should be getting better (I'd welcome the calls if they were helping her but they don't) As above really, although 2 weeks in is really early days it's not out of the ordinary to want to keep in contact. Again, perhaps it's best if she take control of when the calls are by calling them every few days. For some people, not all, part of getting better might include limited access/exposure to the stressful environment when they feel ready.

 

It might be worth getting hold of the employee handbook / sickness policy to see how things are going to progress. But, a meeting is normal.

 

Edited to add she is a permanent employee and has been there over two years.

 

Thanks

 

see above in bold

[distresssed87]

Thanks for your advice. It does seem fair for them to want to get her back but I don't agree with the way they're speaking to her demanding to know if she's coming back and putting pressure on etc.

 

A meeting does seem fair once she's back but they're not asking for a meeting they're threatening her with a formal meeting which is also a formal warning at this work. That's the bit that is causing stress. I'd welcome contact and a meeting with the aim of getting her well and back to work but they're not doing that they're hassling her to come back and threatening her with a formal meeting/formal warning if she doesn't go back to work next week.

 

And that is making her worse not helping her up get better.

 

Thanks for taking the time to offer advice it really helped. I'll try to get her to at least take control of when contact happens and ask for a neutral ground meeting.

[think about it]

I suppose it's worth clarifying what they mean by a 'formal meeting' if they're setting out to discipline someone at the same time as meet with them then I'm certain they'll need to specifiy this in the letter. Companies aren't marvellous at managing stress, and dependant upon what the nature of the stress is, there's an important question to ask your good lady as to whether or not she feels that the cause will be relieved by taking time off.

 

It's difficult, and I've first hand experience of it so can go some way to understand the way she might be feeling but for me I had to look at the whole picture and decide if it was just down to a time-limited set of circumstances or if, in all honesty, it was the place and people I found stressful. For me it was the latter and I decided to go back, muddle through and whilst doing so find another job. I appreciate it's not always easy to do and not always the right answer for everyone but do look into the cause of the problems, is 2 / 4 weeks off really going to solve it?

 

Good luck

[distresssed87]

It's definitely a formal warning and formal meeting with option to take a union rep, but she's not in the union.

 

I think it would be good for her to get back as soon as possible and try to find a new job elsewhere. It would boost her confidence.

 

At the moment she is low, anxious, tired and not sleeping or eating because of the stress. She's exhausted and can't snap out of her low mood. I feel like she does need to recharge from the toll it's taken on her but she also does need to get back and get out.

 

The would more time off help is a good question. I'll ask her to have a think about how each route would affect her honestly.

 

Some businesses are not very good at this at all. Her boss doesn't believe that stress is an illness and dismissed her every time she reached out to him. It's no point staying there you're right. She needs a positive plan. Thanks again.

[ericsbrother]

the formal meeting may be about capability rather than the absence so in her position I would be very keen to have someone there who knows about such matters and that would be a union rep if there is representation in the workplace. It is in their interests to ensure that things are done properly and fairly, even wher the person isnt a member.

[distresssed87]

I didn't realise that you could still ask for representation of you weren't a member - thank you. I'll let her know - hopefully she can be well enough to go back before she has to have a meeting. She was very capable of her job and the best in her team by far until they forced unnecessary changes on her she wasn't trained for. I really feel bad for her. Thank you

[altobelli]

Hi, what's the route cause of the stress, is it bullying, overwork, etc.?

 

 

Your girlfriend's manager needs some training in order to do his job properly.

[distresssed87]

Hi, what's the route cause of the stress, is it bullying, overwork, etc.?

 

 

Your girlfriend's manager needs some training in order to do his job properly.

 

 

She has always felt a healthy (ish) amount of stress because it's a very stressful environment but for over two years managed ok bar the odd natural coming home grumpy. She even excelled and was the best in her team but she was always overlooked for promotions whilst someone newish got the job. So things started to build up but she performed well.

 

Then they pushed new responsibilities on her and let's say they tried to train her in skill c when she didn't have the necessary knowledge of skill a and b and was left floundering. She voiced her concerns but was still pushed up so this and she started to get stressed as she mused targets etc because she wasn't properly trained.

 

Then she was forced into a new team for random reshuffle reasons and this new manager was so unsupportive she spiralled quickly. He's not a bully but his poor management is the thing that tipped her over the edge.

 

So overwork, poor training, too much unnecessary change and lack of support I guess (I've been listening to her talk it out a lot and this is as much as I know)

[altobelli]

She has always felt a healthy (ish) amount of stress because it's a very stressful environment but for over two years managed ok bar the odd natural coming home grumpy. She even excelled and was the best in her team but she was always overlooked for promotions whilst someone newish got the job. So things started to build up but she performed well.

 

Then they pushed new responsibilities on her and let's say they tried to train her in skill c when she didn't have the necessary knowledge of skill a and b and was left floundering. She voiced her concerns but was still pushed up so this and she started to get stressed as she mused targets etc because she wasn't properly trained.

 

Then she was forced into a new team for random reshuffle reasons and this new manager was so unsupportive she spiralled quickly. He's not a bully but his poor management is the thing that tipped her over the edge.

 

So overwork, poor training, too much unnecessary change and lack of support I guess (I've been listening to her talk it out a lot and this is as much as I know)

 

 

Thanks for your reply.

 

 

I would recommend finding out exactly what the meeting will involve and who will be there. Ask in writing if you can have an outline of what will be discussed.

 

 

For your girlfriend, I would say to make a note of everything she wants to discuss at the meeting - if she can remember dates where she's raised concerns about stress previously, try and jot these down (you don't necessarily have to rhyme off a list of dates at the meeting, but it will help to prepare previously, so that she can see how many times the issue has been raised and what the manager's reaction was). The manager may be the type who will try and deny that he knew there was a problem, or to downplay any previous discussions. Also, mention the points from your last post relating to the cause of your girlfriend's stress - the main causes look to be lack of training and empowerment and a lack of management skills. She should mention her previous good performance in the other team, and how she wants to succeed and believes that she can with the right training and support. Would a move back to the previous team be an option? You can say that your girlfriend doesn't feel the manager is a bully, but that the problem is more due to his approach to managing stress and lack of recognition of the problem. Its not necessarily bad on him if someone suffers from stress as long as he does something about it, but a lot of managers are wary of acknowledging that someone they're responsible suffers from stress, hence his 'stress doesn't exist' type argument. Also be sure to mention that she feels badgered by the calls about when she'll return to work and that these are adding to her stress and hampering her recovery - maybe suggest at the meeting that she calls weekly to give an update. Beware of HR if they're involved, there are some good people working in HR, but mostly they'll try and cover for management. You might want to think about whether there's a more senior manager your girlfriend can speak to depending on the outcome of the meeting. A good doctor should be able to help with advice on what reasonable adjustments the company could make to help with your girlfriend's recovery, maybe ask your GP if they can advise.

 

 

So, I would say your girlfriend should go to the meeting, but go prepared. If anything unexpected comes up, e.g. she is accused of not being capable of doing the job or her manager lies, advise her to say that she was not expecting this and ask for an adjournment. Decide on the next step after the meeting, but hopefully the meeting will be an opportunity for your girlfriend to ask for the situation to improve and for some adjustments to be made.

 

 

What sort of size is the company - is it a large employer? And what is the broad nature of your girlfriend's work?

 

 

Longer term, your girlfriend should think what is best for her in the long run. If the situation doesn't improve, one approach would be to advise her to find another job and then leave. This is an option which might be for the best, but it needs to be weighed against the stress which might be felt later from the feeling of being forced out of a job by bad management. This is a difficult decision to make, and is really down to what your girlfriend feels will be best for her in the long run, but its difficult to decide without the benefit of hindsight, she might leave and move to a better/worse job, or stay and things get better/worse. But this is something to consider after the meeting, depends on the outcome to an extent and how much your girlfriend likes working for this company.

[Alfie29]

Her health is FAR more important then her job so maybe she should look for a less stressful job? Hope she's ok? :/