accused of threatening behaviour, formal complaint against me

[Stitchedup75]

Good Afternoon

 

 

I am looking for some helpful advice on my situation. I am currently signed off due to stress but am expecting a disciplinary on my return to work towards the end of January.

 

 

I have been with my employer almost 5 years and I am a member of a union. In Oct 2012 I was disciplined for being insubordinate and reacting unreasonably to an email request, my first offence. My punishment was a 6 month warning (expired may 13). Since then I have not had any further issues until recently. Over Christmas we had lost a family member and so I was not myself at the end of December.

 

 

Without going into too much detail my job can be quite stressful and at the end of 2014 we had a skeleton workforce with makeshift management cover. The person in charge of our section that afternoon was not in a particularly cheerful mood and did not like my joke "should've gone to specsavers", replying "shut up ***". She then began to pester me for updates on various issues I was looking at, using an authoritarian and condescending tone.

 

 

At first I dismissed the issues as being a storm in a tea cup and answered her politely and respectfully, however she began to raise other issues quite vocally and it became obvious that she was trying to make it clear to the senior manager sat close to her that she was the boss of the team. As she continued I made a tongue-in-cheek remark "she's being a bully again' to let the senior manager know in a polite way that I wasn't happy with her behaviour.

 

The situation escalated over the next hour as I asked her for assistance (as she was the only other person with experience of that product), however she simply asked me to send her the details on email, which I did, and on receipt she simply replied "that's wrong". I asked her to elaborate and she was reluctant to do so, making me feel like I was foolish for not having worked it before. I explained that "I haven't done one of these *** before" and so I required further assistance. She asked me to send her a second version which I did, and again she found fault with it pointing to some "grey areas". I spoke to another member of staff on the phone who verified that the details I had included were correct, which I told her. She still disagreed an beckoned me round to her desk.

 

 

I asked her "why didn't you tell me that the first time?" She replied that it was a matter of procedure to check everything, but I pointed out that "that field wasn't previously populated so how would I know?" She then accused me of being 'aggressive and bang out of order", and foolishly replied "With my family troubles? I don't think you know what aggression is. Let's take this out (of the office, in private) and I can show you what I mean".

 

She then accused me of threatening her and told me to "sit down". I told her not to "tell me what to do" and then after speaking to the senior manager I left the room.

 

 

I admit to overreacting but surely both parties are at fault here and so her formal complaint is only one side of the story, although unfortunately she was the same person involved in 2012. Please help (I welcome any constructive criticism).

 

 

Thanks

Edited January 9, 2015 by citizenB
formatting for easier reading

[billathome65]

Was this incident witnessed by others if so call them as witnesses and leave it to the investigation at least you will know if you where backed up if it wasn't witnessed by others then it's one word against the other. Either way get a rep sorted irrespective of if you felt goaded if you where heard instructing a colleague to accompany you outside this may not be a good outcome.

[Bandit127]

She then accused me of being 'aggressive and bang out of order", and foolishly replied "With my family troubles? I don't think you know what aggression is. Let's take this out (of the office, in private) and I can show you what I mean".

That looks like you were inviting her out for a scrap. You may need to backpedal your position to where you also see those words as exactly that. You will almost certainly see those words in a written statement.

 

Until you can defend or mitigate those words, you will not be able to talk about a 50/50 responsibility here.

[Stitchedup75]

Thanks for your responses.

 

 

I agree that there will need to be an element of backpedalling to justify the unfortunate and off the cuff response I gave. I would argue that my stress levels were increasing throughout the day and that the GP has already made it clear I shouldn't have been in work that day due to the bereavement, and as the result of what seemed to be an anxious overreaction the words (which should have been let's talk about this privately) came out wrong, and were misinterpreted.

 

 

It was witnessed and I am reliably informed that statements have been taken. I also know that I have received a fair amount of support so not everyone is in her camp.

 

 

I have spoken to my union rep and he will be attending any hearings that may take place.

 

 

In your experience is it likely that my management will go for the proverbial 'jugular' ie: gross misconduct? If so would they be able to dismiss me or what kind of punishment is justifiable?

 

 

Thanks

[Emmzzi]

if you had an unblemished record, maybe you'd get a warning/mediation/trainig. Maybe.

 

Even though it has expired the reality is that people will know you have "previous" again for being insubordinate. I would plan for the worst.

[Stitchedup75]

Thanks for the advice. Yes I see your point about it being my 2nd offence.

 

 

Based on what my union rep mentioned earlier, I need to get a letter from my GP stating that I was not fit to work given the circumstances. Would this not negate the issue of my 'threatening' language?

 

 

Also, if the GP deems it to be the case, could my employer still go ahead with a disciplinary at some stage even if I had a continuous period of stress-related sickness?

[Emmzzi]

your GP advised you to stay off work and you chose to ignore that advice - mitigation through illness is therefore a stretch. Not impossible, but a stretch.

 

are you planning to fake a stress related illness? (I am not sure how else you could plan it!)

 

I don't advise on that, the NHS is short enough on resources.

[stevemLS]

Yes, your employer can discipline you, stress absence is not the "get out of jail free" card that many would like it to be.

[shywazz]

just to give some input, I myself was verbally abused and threatened during the busy period of DEC. I wont go into details as this incident has been reported to the police and is been treated as a hate crime ( still on goings with police ), However the person whom made the remark and threats, has been disciplined by the company, and although this was the persons third time in 11 years to have such out bursts, the guy has managed to keep his job, he has been transferred to another department/shift... So I guess with some good advice from your union rep and covering note from your gp you might have a chance to keep your employment, maybe you could express you are prepared to change shifts so that your path doesn't cross with the other person, taking into account the difficult challenges you are facing with family and so forth, the company will take all things in account in making they decision. Although such behaviour can not be tolerated in the work place, companies have a strict policy to follow, failing to follow they policy will throw any disciplinary out the window, so make sure your REP checks all paper work then double checks...... Good luck............. Although I have been a victim of such abuse and threats, I can look at things in the abusers position/circumstance... Remember the company has a DUTY OF CARE TO ALL EMPLOYEES under the health and safety act..... which verbal and threatening abuse also comes under....

[Pusillanimous]

It comes across that you cannot accept this person as your manager and you have no respect for her. Your demand she step outside with you will of course have mortified her. She is your manager. If she is of a diffferent gender, race or religion or whatever, it could be perceived to be on those grounds.

 

Your hostility towards her is clear and you need to work out why you are resistant to her position in relation to you.

 

If it is based on resentment of protected personal characteristics you are on thin ice.

 

If not, then you need to take chip off your shoulder and try apologising to her sincerely about your conduct.