Thanks for the advice. Yes I see your point about it being my 2nd offence. Based on what my union rep mentioned earlier, I need to get a letter from my GP stating that I was not fit to work given the circumstances. Would this not negate the issue of my 'threatening' language? Also, if the GP deems it to be the case, could my employer still go ahead with a disciplinary at some stage even if I had a continuous period of stress-related sickness?

Thanks for your responses. I agree that there will need to be an element of backpedalling to justify the unfortunate and off the cuff response I gave. I would argue that my stress levels were increasing throughout the day and that the GP has already made it clear I shouldn't have been in work that day due to the bereavement, and as the result of what seemed to be an anxious overreaction the words (which should have been let's talk about this privately) came out wrong, and were misinterpreted. It was witnessed and I am reliably informed that statements have been taken. I also know that I have received a fair amount of support so not everyone is in her camp. I have spoken to my union rep and he will be attending any hearings that may take place. In your experience is it likely that my management will go for the proverbial 'jugular' ie: gross misconduct? If so would they be able to dismiss me or what kind of punishment is justifiable? Thanks

Good Afternoon I am looking for some helpful advice on my situation. I am currently signed off due to stress but am expecting a disciplinary on my return to work towards the end of January. I have been with my employer almost 5 years and I am a member of a union. In Oct 2012 I was disciplined for being insubordinate and reacting unreasonably to an email request, my first offence. My punishment was a 6 month warning (expired may 13). Since then I have not had any further issues until recently. Over Christmas we had lost a family member and so I was not myself at the end of December. Without going into too much detail my job can be quite stressful and at the end of 2014 we had a skeleton workforce with makeshift management cover. The person in charge of our section that afternoon was not in a particularly cheerful mood and did not like my joke "should've gone to specsavers", replying "shut up ***". She then began to pester me for updates on various issues I was looking at, using an authoritarian and condescending tone. At first I dismissed the issues as being a storm in a tea cup and answered her politely and respectfully, however she began to raise other issues quite vocally and it became obvious that she was trying to make it clear to the senior manager sat close to her that she was the boss of the team. As she continued I made a tongue-in-cheek remark "she's being a bully again' to let the senior manager know in a polite way that I wasn't happy with her behaviour. The situation escalated over the next hour as I asked her for assistance (as she was the only other person with experience of that product), however she simply asked me to send her the details on email, which I did, and on receipt she simply replied "that's wrong". I asked her to elaborate and she was reluctant to do so, making me feel like I was foolish for not having worked it before. I explained that "I haven't done one of these *** before" and so I required further assistance. She asked me to send her a second version which I did, and again she found fault with it pointing to some "grey areas". I spoke to another member of staff on the phone who verified that the details I had included were correct, which I told her. She still disagreed an beckoned me round to her desk. I asked her "why didn't you tell me that the first time?" She replied that it was a matter of procedure to check everything, but I pointed out that "that field wasn't previously populated so how would I know?" She then accused me of being 'aggressive and bang out of order", and foolishly replied "With my family troubles? I don't think you know what aggression is. Let's take this out (of the office, in private) and I can show you what I mean". She then accused me of threatening her and told me to "sit down". I told her not to "tell me what to do" and then after speaking to the senior manager I left the room. I admit to overreacting but surely both parties are at fault here and so her formal complaint is only one side of the story, although unfortunately she was the same person involved in 2012. Please help (I welcome any constructive criticism). Thanks