Change to the Law 2013 - Compulsary payments till the child is 18 now!

[goodatresearch]

Won't happen, its been argued many times. I agree how it is worked out should be looked out, but these fathers who pay nothing should be thoroughly investigated and brought to task.

[Ros1609]

Well I've spoken to my local MP and I'm hoping he influences the rights of fathers to have a fair amount taken off them for their children.

 

The CSA should deduct the fathers Rent, heating and food costs THEN deduct the percentage of his wage

 

Not a chance!

[somethingelseplease]

We will see

 

As long as fathers fight for justice the battle for fair treatment will continue

 

We are all treated very unfairly with the system and were making a stand

 

Think I read somewhere there's been something regarding fathers getting fair action of custody at the Scottish Courts

 

It's just the start of things to come

[Rachie1973]

We will see

 

As long as fathers fight for justice the battle for fair treatment will continue

 

We are all treated very unfairly with the system and were making a stand

 

Think I read somewhere there's been something regarding fathers getting fair action of custody at the Scottish Courts

 

It's just the start of things to come

 

I wouldn't hold your breath.

[somethingelseplease]

All I'll say is watch this space...it's coming

[Rachie1973]

All I'll say is watch this space...it's coming

 

You realise you sound like every other annoyed CSA payer since 1993 don't you?

 

The CSA has been overhauled and ended. The new system is in place, but for those, like me, the CSA will continue to oversee the case.

[goodatresearch]

History shows that there's a higher percentage of men who don't want custody and still winge about paying maintenance. Unfortunately all those innocent fathers who either want custody or are happy to pay a fair amount of maintenance are now bearing the consequences. If, in the past, most men were seen to take their responsibilities seriously, the CSA wouldn't have been created in the 1st place. It is no coinsidence that most single parents are women, and let's not argue its because its always because men can't get custody because that accounts for a small number of fathers only.

[THNX4THT]

Sorry guys, ive lost the thread i was replying to! eek lol

[THNX4THT]

You sound very bitter. As I said if your child is being neglected you can go for residency. Thousands of mothers shaking in their boots, really?????? There a plenty of women like my daughter who dont get a penny of maintenance and yes she has a social life and her children are not neglected, she's a single parent not dead.

Well said. My ex hasn't paid maintenance for many years. I presume your ex isn't reliant on only your money coming in? How can you possibly tell which part of her income including your contribution is spent on your kids? Are they wearing bin liners? I would think not. If you think there's such a need to contest her ability to look after your children", yours as in hers as well, then contact Social Services or apply for a residency order. But beware, if you give your reasoning as " she has a social life and is buying clothes for herself, you may find you'll be found out to be a resentful ex, finding empty reasons to cause trouble for her. It wont go down well in court. My ex tried to get residency when our daughter was 7. Apparently I was capable for 7 years ( now all the hard work had been done) but a week before trial date, he withdrew his application and said he just wanted to sort contact out. Courts don't take kindly to empty reasons as to why court hearings take place, especially when you consider the cost involved. Edited May 14, 2014 by THNX4THT

[THNX4THT]

We will see

 

As long as fathers fight for justice the battle for fair treatment will continue

 

We are all treated very unfairly with the system and were making a stand

 

Think I read somewhere there's been something regarding fathers getting fair action of custody at the Scottish Courts

 

It's just the start of things to come

 

surely you mean As long as single parents fight for justice...not every single parent is female! Not every parent who has contact is male......whilst there is one parent taking on the home role of two, the other has a social life and has no restrictions on what clothes they buy.

Edited May 14, 2014 by THNX4THT

[goodatresearch]

Unfortunately this poster appears to be a lost cause. Most reasonable people would believe that any caring parent with contact who thinks his/her child is being neglected would move heaven and earth to remove their child from this situation. The posters main concern, however, appears to be about the money he has to part with and his former partners social life. I could be wrong, but residency has been suggested a few times but he has remained silent on the issue.

[goodatresearch]

However, if I'm wrong, he should start a diary carefully noting all incidences of neglect, with evidence if possible. Then he should contact social services and get the ball rolling re residency.

[king12345]

It's difficult to prove that kids are neglected.

As long as they're covered, fairly clean and don't appear malnourished the social services will not intervene.

The problem is that some, and only some, mothers treat themselves to designer clothes, weekends away, beauty procedures, boozing outings and other extravagant luxury while spending the bare minimum on the kids.

All funded by the powerless father who knows about this imbalance but cannot do anything about it.

Not all mothers do this and I'm sure that the largest majority looks after the kids properly, but some seem not to care about the kids and use the maintenance check mainly to fund their luxurious lifestyle.

[goodatresearch]

I agree it isn't ready to prove neglect, but an attempt should be made.

 

I personally dont know any single parent mothers who has a luxurious lifestyle, although theres probably some who are out there.

 

I do however know many male parents who are able to contribute to their children's upbringing but don't. My daughters ex actually states that she works and gets WTC and manages a social life, so why should he pay. He mean while spends every weekend in the pub, buys expensive clothes, has a petrol guzzling car and alternates between living with mummy who doesn't charge him board and his present girlfriend.

 

I feel very sorry for male parents who receive a raw deal. This doesn't alter the fact that on the whole its single parent mothers that are coping alone without any financial help from the fathers of their children

[king12345]

Strange that all of this wasn't happening 20 or 30 years ago.

The "empowering" of women made some mothers think that a father is just an unnecessary accessory to the life of their kids.

50% of marriage fails nowadays for a simple reason: very few couples understand the importance and seriousness of marriage.

They're together for a few months and get married or worst, have children.

They then realise they want a life and the partner is not as nice as they thought.

They separate and the true victims are the kids.

In the old days people were more tolerant towards their partner and worked things out, while now at the first obstacle they go separate ways and leave the kids to be bounced back and forth between them.

And imo it's all due to the media promoting a celebrity lifestyle for all.

In today's society if you are normal you are a loser.

You're a married man with kids, bills to pay and no time to go out?

You're a loser.

You're a married woman juggling work and kids with no time for social life?

You're a loser.

If you are a single parent than you're a hero!

How did we get to this point?!?!

How can society consider someone a hero when they had kids with someone they barely met and then splitting up leaving the kids in a limbo?!?!

Irresponsible, selfish losers if you ask me!

Of course there are a few cases of misfortune when for example the father becomes a violent drunk.

But a longer relationship before having kids could highlight faults from either parties and maybe kids won't even have to be born to couples destined to separate.

Irresponsible is what they are.

I'm so sorry for the kids.

[THNX4THT]

Strange that all of this wasn't happening 20 or 30 years ago.

The "empowering" of women made some mothers think that a father is just an unnecessary accessory to the life of their kids.

50% of marriage fails nowadays for a simple reason: very few couples understand the importance and seriousness of marriage.

They're together for a few months and get married or worst, have children.

They then realise they want a life and the partner is not as nice as they thought.

They separate and the true victims are the kids.

In the old days people were more tolerant towards their partner and worked things out, while now at the first obstacle they go separate ways and leave the kids to be bounced back and forth between them.

And imo it's all due to the media promoting a celebrity lifestyle for all.

In today's society if you are normal you are a loser.

You're a married man with kids, bills to pay and no time to go out?

You're a loser.

You're a married woman juggling work and kids with no time for social life?

You're a loser.

If you are a single parent than you're a hero!

How did we get to this point?!?!

How can society consider someone a hero when they had kids with someone they barely met and then splitting up leaving the kids in a limbo?!?!

Irresponsible, selfish losers if you ask me!

Of course there are a few cases of misfortune when for example the father becomes a violent drunk.

But a longer relationship before having kids could highlight faults from either parties and maybe kids won't even have to be born to couples destined to separate.

Irresponsible is what they are.

I'm so sorry for the kids.

How much time is long enough to wait before deciding to have children? I was with my sons father a long time. I didn't want children at the time but he did and after long discussions we agreed, but when I got pregnant, he said " you got pregnant too quickly, I didn't want children that soon".....there's not a lot you can say to that. I think you've made a bit of a generalisation there, about most couples getting together and after a short time they start a family. Yes it happens, we see that in shows like JK, but there are long marriages that break up. And I think single parents ARE hero's, because whilst there's one single parent, there's another parent floating around with not a care in the world, socialising, working, buying items they really like, whilst the other parent is looking after their child, clothing, feeding and making sure the child feels loved and safe and secure......and saving the tax payers a huuuuuuuge amount of money from having to find children foster homes. Yes, I have been a single parent, I wouldn't personally call myself a hero, I just love all my children and just want the best for them, as would most parents. Domestic violence isn't just about being drunk, there's sooooo many other situations that fall under that blanket, having lived in one with my children, it's something I know a lot about.

[goodatresearch]

Well said. Must say I had a laugh at the derogatory comment with regards women's empowerment. Perhaps we should go back a few years when couples stayed together although unhappy, domestic violence was tolerated as OK, women had few or no rights and if the husband walked out the women was on the streets.An unhappy marriage does not make happy children and gives them a warped view of what is a normal relationship. That's what's irresponsible.

 

By the way, I married my husband and had chidren after knowing him a short period of time and we've been together 30 years, so you cannot generalise. However if he acted 10% of the way my daughters ex acts, he would have been out on is ear years ago for the sake of our children.

[king12345]

Statistics don't lie.

The key word in my post is 'many', that doesn't mean 'all'.

The 'derogatory' word empowering refers to those women who think they can have children and husband and still act like single teenagers.

I use to go places and clubbing 7 days a week, but once kids came along I knew that lifestyle was over and so did my wife.

What I find disgraceful is mother and fathers thinking they can carry on acting like teenagers after having kids or even a childless stable relationship.

Some single mothers are truly outstanding human beings, but the misconception is that all, including the Jeremy Kyle type, are heroes.

They're not!

They made that mess themselves.

Again, not all of them, but MANY.

[goodatresearch]

You'll find the word empowering means political, economic and legal equality.

 

What statistics are you talking about? Iv seen no statistics showing parents going clubbing 7 days a week.

 

Are you saying parents, single or otherwise, shouldnt have a social life. Pass me my pipe and slippers, my life is over, and all you single mothers, get back to the sink your only for child bearing and rearing.

[king12345]

You're right about the meaning of 'empowering', but many misunderstand that concept and think that they must do what they want regardless of responsibilities to be empowered.

Nearly 50% of marriages breaking down, that's the statistic.

 

http://www.ons.gov.uk/ons/rel/vsob1/divorces-in-england-and-wales/2011/stb-divorces-2011.html

 

You can still have a life without going clubbing every weekend and down the pub every night until closing time leaving the kids with grandparents, other half or worst, with strangers.

[goodatresearch]

Or leave them with no one at all. Just like that one couple who appear to have achieved virtual sainthood. Not naming names if course, but if it had been a single parent on benefits the authorities would have come down on him/her like a tonne of bricks.

 

Must say though, 50% marriage breakdown might not always be caused because they want to relive their misspent youth. There are many reasons for divorce. and the statistics can't show that as its to complex an issue.

[king12345]

Or leave them with no one at all. Just like that one couple who appear to have achieved virtual sainthood. Not naming names if course, but if it had been a single parent on benefits the authorities would have come down on him/her like a tonne of bricks.

 

Must say though, 50% marriage breakdown might not always be caused because they want to relive their misspent youth. There are many reasons for divorce. and the statistics can't show that as its to complex an issue.

Well said, the social class of that couple exonerated them from prosecution.

A working class couple leaving their kids alone while on the bender would have been jailed.

Instead they're heroes and paid off their mortgage with the donations.

Scary!

[THNX4THT]

Well said, the social class of that couple exonerated them from prosecution.

A working class couple leaving their kids alone while on the bender would have been jailed.

Instead they're heroes and paid off their mortgage with the donations.

Scary!

and their other children taken into care. I can't even begin to think what they were thinking of, when they thought the babysitting service was enough....clearly it wasn't.

[goodatresearch]

Soon after this happened, a single parent with 2 jobs left her children with a 16 year old to go away for the weekend and was prosecuted for it. Judge said she was lucky to escape jail. I'm not condoning what she did but you have to ask why a professional couple got away with leaving 3 small children completely alone and a working class single women was prosecuted although her children were not alone. Plus the UK if full of 16 year old single mothers who the the authorities are happy to leave alone to bring up their children without supervision. Smacks of double standards.

[THNX4THT]

Soon after this happened, a single parent with 2 jobs left her children with a 16 year old to go away for the weekend and was prosecuted for it. Judge said she was lucky to escape jail. I'm not condoning what she did but you have to ask why a professional couple got away with leaving 3 small children completely alone and a working class single women was prosecuted although her children were not alone. Plus the UK if full of 16 year old single mothers who the the authorities are happy to leave alone to bring up their children without supervision. Smacks of double standards.

What a wonderful equal world with live in and I find myself using a quote for the second time this week, although in completely different settings. George Orwell, Animal Farm : " All animals are equal, but some animals are more equal than others"

Edited May 16, 2014 by THNX4THT