Strange Dealings with HMRC - no. its a funny, sort of :-)

[Lula]

I started back to work almost exactly two years ago, before I went back i tried to claim Jobseekers allowance as it was then, but, as I wasnt working in the test period, I was ineligable.

 

So, this January, I received a letter from HRMC, stating that they know I have received in excess of £3k in Jobseekers Allowance and now I am going to be given the priviledge of paying the tax on it .

 

Hang on a mo, I never received a penny, so I call them to clarify.

 

Oh yes Miss Lula, we know you claimed, we just ESTIMATED how much you received.

 

YOU DID WHAT?? you have computers don't you? Surely the computer that told you that I claimed, also told you that i didn't receive a penny?

 

Err, No Miss Lula, our computers dont really talk to each other, we have to estimate.

 

Me, incredulous. So you are allowed to MAKE IT ALL UP, and I have to prove that I have received it or not?

 

That, it appears is the long and the short of it, but , my story doesnt stop there, oh no !

 

It takes them 5 weeks to respond to any letter, so, not being blessed with a great amount of patience I ring them this afternoon.

 

Firstly, it took 15 minutes to get through to a "human" voice and then, he goes through my note and confirms that, yes, they received my letter and the letter THAT I HAD TO GET, from the Benefits Agency, confirming that I had received no benefits from them.

 

So, I said to him, my tax code for 2013/14 is going to be 944L .

 

Err no, Miss Lula it will be 943L

 

For why? I ask, we have established that I owe you no money, why is my tax code stating that I owe you £1.

 

Well Miss Lula, it is the way the computer reckons it, it rounds up or down.

 

So, I say, this is the same computer that cannot talk to another computer within the great Behemoth is the Welfare State?

 

Yes, he replies.

 

No, say I. I do not owe you £1 and i would like my tax code to reflect this, i want the full 944L.

 

Errrrrr, he says, i will have to pass this on to a supervisor.

 

Thats fine by me says I , but I mean to have the proper tax coding and have it I will. I find it totally unacceptable that you can make up figures and them expect me to roll over meekly and pay it.

 

Watch this space, I expect a letter soon, i will not be expecting anything other that my 944L

 

bastards

[BazzaS]

 

So, I said to him, my tax code for 2013/14 is going to be 944L .

 

Err no, Miss Lula it will be 943L

 

For why? I ask, we have established that I owe you no money, why is my tax code stating that I owe you £1.

 

Well Miss Lula, it is the way the computer reckons it, it rounds up or down.

 

So, I say, this is the same computer that cannot talk to another computer within the great Behemoth is the Welfare State?

 

Yes, he replies.

 

No, say I. I do not owe you £1 and i would like my tax code to reflect this, i want the full 944L.

 

Errrrrr, he says, i will have to pass this on to a supervisor.

 

Thats fine by me says I , but I mean to have the proper tax coding and have it I will. I find it totally unacceptable that you can make up figures and them expect me to roll over meekly and pay it.

 

They want you to prove you didn't receive benefits?

 

You couldn't make it up, if you tried ......

 

"Paging Mr Kafka, Mr Franz Kafka".....

 

(BTW the difference between 944L and 943L codes is £10 of allowance ..... this only equates to the £1 difference in tax paid if it is at the 10% rate - the "starter rate" for income from savings, not income from salary!)

[Lula]

They want you to prove you didn't receive benefits?

 

You couldn't make it up, if you tried ......

 

"Paging Mr Kafka, Mr Franz Kafka".....

 

(BTW the difference between 944L and 943L codes is £10 of allowance ..... this only equates to the £1 difference in tax paid if it is at the 10% rate - the "starter rate" for income from savings, not income from salary!)

 

HA! whatever it is , they can whistle for it, I am happy to pay what I owe, but I am jiggered if I am going to role over and be shafted on a computers say so/:jaw:

[burlyb]

It's funny I too had a semi dealing with someone for HMRC on the 12th.....I told their BERK to walk away in jerky movements.....I hope that ended up on their recording too

[SOD'EM]

The worse thing about it is most HMRC telephone numbers are 0845 ones. So the first 15 minutes of the phone call (before you got to speak to human) has cost you in the region of £1.50. Then roughly 10p for every other minute.

 

They may have freephone numbers, but being the HMRC, I doubt it.

 

And I can't be arsed checking.

[burlyb]

The worse thing about it is most HMRC telephone numbers are 0845 ones. So the first 15 minutes of the phone call (before you got to speak to human) has cost you in the region of £1.50. Then roughly 10p for every other minute.

 

They may have freephone numbers, but being the HMRC, I doubt it.

 

And I can't be arsed checking.

Having to dial 0845 numbers quite a lot it was noted by virgin media so they called me to offer me any number of calls to 0845 numbers per month for the sum of £2.00 so I decided to go with their flow on that one and to be honest it has saved me a few squid since then due to the amount of times I have had to call HMRC DWP and other 0845 rip off numbers

[Horsen]

I had to deal with the DWP a couple of years back and kept being told the problem was down to the computer. Every time the man kept saying its the computers fault I asked if I could speak to it. He must have thought I was a lunatic because he kept saying you can't speak to it. I even asked him to tell it off for me but he just hung up on me. Funnily enough the problem soon got sorted.