home repossession and effects on health

[oldgirl]

Hi Richard, first of all I have to say that you have got some wonderful friends on this site, they all sound lovely and so very supportive, i wish that we'd had such support when we were having our 'problems'.

I've been where you are Richard, we lost our home in 1997ish, also we had other debts and of course we were hotly pursued by the usual bunch of lowlife who call making the lives of others a misery, a job, I dreaded answering the door or the phone, hated the postie coming, daren't have friends round in case we had a visit from debt collectors or baliffs. Life was awful and opting out seemed like a good idea but we had our sons and other family and couldn't bear the thought of the hurt they would feel if we took that road, threats from debt collectors were the worst really scary and the thought of them coming to the door terrified me, of course then we had no idea that we had rights and a forum such as this would have been a huge help, even just for the support of other people who knew what we were going through.

Of course since then I have learned that debt collectors have no powers at all and aren't allowed to visit you at home without invitation, Lillibelle is right it is a long, scary horrible road but you will reach the end of it, the building society (Halifax) sold our home for peanuts and have been pursuing us via debt collectors and solicitors since 1999 for a shortfall of sometimes £18,700 and sometimes £17,000???. We have had letters from so many different solicitors and debt collectors over the years that I have lost count, we have never entered into any correspondence with them despite them sending us expenditure forms and various threats to visit us at home which have never happened. The last one we had was April this year, maybe we will get another from someone else maybe not but it's past the 12 year mark now and in all that time we received no Money Judgement Order from the Halifax via the courts, no information on how they had marketed our home, absolutely no official paperwork at all. All we have had is threats from bully boys, they haven't been constant sometimes as much as a year has passed then we'll get a flurry of letters from threats to telling us how much they understand our situation and how much they want to help us (HA!!), I hasten to say that we have paid all our other debts off but our home was worth much more and we have no intention of lining the pockets of the Halifax, which is why we have ignored the threats, i know that possibly some of you may not agree with what we have done.

Anyway Richard please try not to worry (easier said than done I know) you have wonderful support on here and seem to have formed a lovely little circle of friends, good morning to you all, Richard things will get better I promise I've been there.

[oldgirl]

Hiya Lillibelle, thanks for the welcome, a good day today the postie has been and no obscene letters so maybe we are going to get peace at last, although I don't count on it as we usually get letters on a weekend or at Xmas, mind you i don't worry as much now i suppose i've grown hardened to it all lol. You have a good day Lillibelle and I hope that all goes well for you

[oldgirl]

Good morning everyone, Girly, yes I like that Lillibelle thank you. Richard there is a saying 'the darkest hour is just before dawn' and believe me it's true, any worries or negative feelings are magnified during the wee small hours and the feeling of being alone is truly awful, I've been there endless times and saw no light at the end of the tunnel. Things will change Richard, you are obviously an articulate, intelligent man who despite the way you are feeling now will make something of his life, like Lillibelle I no longer had the option of going and living with my parents, you are so lucky to have them Richard and I'm sure they love and support you.

What Lillibelle says is true, depression is an illness and an awful one, I know because our eldest son suffers from it and was on medication for many years, the past year he has been off the meds and hopefully he will be able to manage without them. We are all here for you Richard, please try not to feel bad about yourself, you are a lovely person, remember the only way is up now and you will get to the top of that big hill truly you will. As for all those mate who 'appear' to be doing so well, I had a 'mate' like that once, holidays twice a year, big house it transpired that it was all funded by credit cards and loans so stop beating yourself up

[oldgirl]

Goodnight everyone, Richard I hope that tomorrow is a better day for you, as you can see we are all thinking of you, Rohanna I agree with all that you say about Richard, and Richard i hope you join us tomorrow.

[oldgirl]

Hi Richard, really lovely to see you on here today, glad you did some of the things that you enjoy yesterday, i too record things to watch later usually when i am alone as hubby works away all week, Janie is right Richard, eventually the good days become more numerous than the bad ones. Life has a funny old way of balancing out the good and the bad and soon the scales will tip in your favour, I do know what you are going through where losing your home is concerned, I loved our cottage, we had done so much to it, but the past is gone and we have to look forward to the good times which WILL come back for you. We live in a rented bungalow now (cos we is getting old lol) and regularly dream of a lottery win or a distant relative leaving us a fortune but we have a roof over our heads and a smashing landlord, so we count our blessings.

Thank you Janie i am good today thanks and hope that you are also, weather is dry here in Wales but very chilly which is better for dog walking, now have one exhausted terrier boy who is out for the count on his bed, hubby was late home last night so he has gone for a kip and i am going outside to attack some brambles which keep coming back.

Lillibelle so sorry that you have so much on your plate at the moment, i admire you for your lack of hypocricy and your generosity of spirit, you seem to be a very strong woman, hope that life is being kind to you today love.

Well best get out to those pesky brambles cos they wont clear themselves and hubby loves to see a nice garden but hates making it happen, we do only have a smallish garden though so it's not too bad.

Richard i hope that you are having a good day, wouldn't it be lovely if we could all have coffee (or something) together.

Take care now xx

[oldgirl]

Way to go Lillibelle, does that make you a 'sugar mummy'