Thanks DG I've just been reading about Babybear - didn't even know she was so ill.
I'm not very good at keeping up with things, and don't come around the Bear Garden usually, as I'm not good at generally chatting. (huge understatement!!) I'm struggling to keep up with life, wish I could hide away from it most of the time.
Irony is, I used to light a cigarette before I left the house - I suppose it always gave me confidence. Trashed my health, devastated our finances, but it was something I'd depended on for well over thirty years. We've got box files full of letters collected over the last three years - from banks/DCAs - so many I swear they've taken over our house... When I open them the smell of stale fags hits me - I was chain-smoking all the time. But even now I don't dislike cigarettes. Something about them - maybe it's an addiction you never really get over.
Visiting Mum in hospital last year, so many people standing outside the main entrance having a smoke. Part of me knows it's madness, another part thinks I'd like a fag - right NOW (as in right then, after visiting Mum), another part thinks I couldn't have sat with Mum in hospital as long as I did if I'd still been smoking.