Any further conversation woud be appreciated - opinion counts for a lot

I don't know how to get a lump sum from my ex. He will say that he is entitled to the money from the house as it equates to his share of the equity. he agreed to sign me the house in return for the £25k. This money will be paid to him in the next couple of months. How can I justify to him that I am entited to any of that for his children?

I have lost out big time - I know this. I'm trying to make the best of a situation that I have created myself. its quite depressing at times!

I am not sure that 50/50 care is right for my children, but if I go to mediation with that as a starting point, I might be on a highway to getting somewhere near what I want, which is three weekends to him and one with me. Its so difficult arranging shared care, because I want my children myself, the thing is that I know I don't have the mental energy for two teenagers, and coping on my own is difficult. My ex husband has a duty to his children. I'm not his child minder. selfishly, I am entitled to a life, and if I am happy my children will benefit from that. at the moment, I feel very stressed as I rarely have any time to breathe

I will reply tomorrow. But I can see the points made!

He think my ex should have the children half the time. He knows I will be out of pocket as will Lose part of my cm. my ex does treat me like a baby sitter

In answer to your question I don’t know. His own ex wife refused to have anything to do with him or her children when they split up. He’s very ms manipulate at times.

My new partner is saying that my ex needs to step into ghe plate with regards to supporting the children properly and taking his fair share of the load. He’s not cling that st the moment. My partner thinks I can claim housing costs from my ex husband for the children. I worry that that isn’t the case

It’s my ex husband

No it’s not

Even though he pays maintenance?

I gotta love you guys! He pays child maintenance though. More than he should. I get 100 per week. I should minimum get 67 Can I really be entitled to money from the house? I agreed to pay him a ump sum. He already signed over the house. What would a judge say?

I agreed to the money for my ex. It was part of the deal in transferring the house. Would be unfair to go back on that. I’m fed u of trying to get my ex to man up. His gf caking the odds

I’ve got an appointment next week for Miam I just want to know where I stand. Too many situations at the sane time to deal with

hi Any guidance on my initial post will be helpful

I need some help with my questions

He does want to see the children but on his terms. he is paying 'more' than Child maintenance would award - but it is no where near the 50% of the true cost of raising these beautiful young women. I have called the police, but they will only take a log, they wont take any action at this time. I have been in touch with a mediator, who had advised not to progress a non molestation order at this time - that of mediation fails to go to court at that juncture as it would carry more weight. my current partner wants me to make a claim for all child expenses incurred since the split and up until the my daughter are of an age. I think this is pointless - and will prove to be a waste of my energy. The whole experience is just debilitating. my ex has a new wife, and its her house, and she is the one shouting the odds my ex is due a payout from the marital home, and he is making waves about that - I'm worried that the whole situation is about to cause me issues that I cannot cope with hi can anyone add to this advice please? Help

my partner is not happy about the situation. hes concerned that my ex has a hold on the house - which he doesn't.... I don't want to have to go into the detail with my partner, it was something that was between me and my ex, and I don't like having to revisit it because of a war about the childrens care. where do I stand with that? I am about to go to court to get an injunction to stop my ex and his gf from coming near me / my partner again I could do with some advice about my positon with regards to childcare and my ex obligation to provide for them Please can anyone offer any childcare / legal custody help in my case. I'm feeling very flat on my luck atm help please

ok - I will do that. The money is due to come down in the next few weeks. Once that is received I will get the document you referred to done. No he is not on the mortgage. I remortgaged last year and he agreed to sign it over to me, my ex was not interested, he wanted off the mortgage, he wanted nothing to do with it, kept threatening to put the house on the market behind my back, all he wanted to get his own house with his new wife. he is also not on the title deeds. I didn't take too much legal advice on it at the time of the divorce , my solicitor at the time explained that I could not necessarily be forced to sell the house, although my ex did have an obligation to pay a mortgage that his name was on, but he refused on the basis that he didn't live there and I didn't want any further arguments with him about it. I could afford the mortgage, and knew that once we agreed a settlement I was ok and relatively secure.

The house did not form part of the Divorce settlement, there was no financial arrangements / agreements made. he stopped paying anything the day he moved out. We wanted it done quickly and without fuss. We were amicable at the time, and there were no issues. My ex wanted nothing to do with the house. He signed it to me with an agreement that I would pay him a lump sum. I have monies about to come to me which I will forward to him as agreed in settlement of the house . If I sold the house at the time he would have been entitled to c.£12k, I offered him £25k which he accepted and is about to be transferred to him. NOT IDEAL I KNOW - but it was what we agreed. No, there is nothing in writing - it was a verbal agreement that was made between us.

They are 14 and 15. One has said 50/50 time and the other is going because of me and that I asked her too. I am going to court tomorrow to apply for a non molestation order to stop my ex and his gf coming near me and to stop the abuse and aggressiveness Is my Partner correct in saying that I am entitled to claim housing costs for the girls? he said that I am entitled to a refund of loss of money expended on the girls over and above the money that my ex has contributed. I didn't think that was the case? I My understanding is that my ex is legally obliged to pay towards their costs, but not 50%. Child maintenance say that it is approx. 16% of income before tax and pension contributions - which is some way short of 50%. The rest of their expenditure has been covered by me. I'm feeling like my head is in a vice really - as my ex is being difficult and my partner is pushing me to make claims for money etc that he says I am entitled to. My partner is also saying that my ex would be entitled to equity from the house if he was paying towards the mortgage in order to house his children.. .. am I wrong in thinking that it completely wrong?

Hi All This is my first time in posting about this topic. I am a divorced mom with two teenagers. Up until recently my children were going to their fathers pretty much every weekend. He is now starting to complain about having them on weekends, and is demanding to change the schedule this is alongside his gf who is shouting the odds about the fact they live together and its her house and they go their because of her goodwill. I am standing fast and saying no, but this is being met with resistance. There is a constant request to change nights, and I get no support with my children's teenage behaviours and moods, which can be very stressful at times. He tells me to sod off and deal with it myself. I am now living with my new partner (we jointly own our home t - albeit it is the ex-marital home), and the pressure of not agreeing the child care formally at divorce stage - including the maintenance is now coming back to haunt me. My ex and I never had anything in writing when it comes to the children, and he is now resisting, I am at the point of requesting joint care as I can take no more. He is aggressive and abusive towards me and so is his partner. I have had vm's left for me and visits to my house, with his gf ranting and shouting the odds. My partner is telling me to calculate what the actual costs of the children have been since the split, including a portion of the mortgage costs (we were joint mortgagees until I bought him out). His view was that he didn't live there so wasn't paying it! I am not at the point where I think I need mediation or something! please can someone offer me some advice?

thank you for your comment. However, there is more to this than what you might think. What I am actually wanting is to ascertain what my financial position is with regards to my house and equity. the property transfer is part of the problem. As I said, thank you for your reply, but maybe suggest reading the posts again to get a real understanding of my situation

the advising solicitor has advised me that in situations such as this where the receiving party brings no equity there would normally be a note of advice to the current owner setting out the 'risks' if you like. Apparently a kind of tick box exercise. Anyway, the papers for the house are with the conveyancing solicitor, they wont release them to me without his permission or the permission of my lender for fear that I might pass the on. that makes me wonder if indeed they are concerned that they did not act in my best interests.

UPDATE So, I have spoken to a solicitor, and this is the update: In order to take legal advice I need the papers from the equity transfer. STOP... I need his permission to get those (as we were joint clients - even though the house was mine!!), apparently he should have had his own solicitor, but my solicitor acted jointly - they are claimng there was no conflict of interest, EVEN though he brought no equity to the table. So, as its unlikely that I will get his permission to pass on the conveyancing papers to another solicitor I am stuck. I am in a position of limbo. My solicitor has told me that REGARDLESS of the current financial position, I signed the TR1, I knew he brought no equity. 50% of the equity is his. The best I can hope for is negligence from the conveyancing solicitor as they did not provide any advice to me regarding protecting my equity. I need to give some serious thought as to whether a negligence claim is worth perusing.