Definitely has a will, no doubt about that. Definitely won't need care. No one actually knows I know the distribution of the assets has changed from what it was always going to be, it's only recently changed to include my husband, he doesn't know I know, I'm not even sure if he knows he's now getting a share. I'll know when he does though as I'll get served a divorce petition I can't act too soon as he's not passed away yet

Do you mean sell the properties and just hand him a bunch of cash which he can keep under his, oh I mean his girlfriends mattress?

Hi Eric's brother, I'm not sure what you mean by the above post? I'm sure FIL will have come up with something as like I said before for years he's been trying to figure out how to avoid the beneficeries from paying inherirence tax, to be fair he's not a great business man, just been very lucky in having a leg up early on with a win, which enabled him to start his property empire However he does it it'll have to involve a will, won't it???

Yes I will do that, to be perfectly honest it's a huge relief to know the restriction isn't going to be a problem, so for now I'll carry on plodding along enjoying my life, and not being terrified to answer the door for fear of bailiffs being there! That in itself is a win! I will keep you updated

Oh I'm sorry, he will be getting a lump sum before the death (don't know how much but our son is getting 50K so expect it to be more than that) he will inherit the rest including the shares in the properties after the death. Ex FIL is terminal, probably 1 year max. If I start proceedings now and it goes through quickly I might get some of his "to spend now so FIL can see him enjoy it" but doubt it as he'll keep it hidden in the girlfriends account or indeed in his fathers account, plus it might not be as much as it will be when he gets the rest. Sounds so callous talking about it like this, this is a person dying who was once a massive part of my life, but I highly doubt he lost any sleep over me disappearing from his life so why should I care anymore!

You're right, business like is how I need to be looking at it, there's no care for me anymore from the family so why waste my time caring about what they'll think of me. I need to wait until he's got it though before divorcing him, currently he has zero! I can at least find a good solicitor in the meantime. Thanks again everyone, I have to remember none of this was my fault, he chose to be adulterous and turn my life upside down, not me! So grateful for the advice and moral support x

I know he's giving them all a lump sum so he can see them enjoying it, obviously I won't know if it's the lions share or just a bit. I'm not sure how he's done it but obviously for over 20 years I was part of his (fil) family and it was me he always discussed his affairs with (he was hell bent on them not having to pay inheritance tax so I'm guessing he's found a way round it because giving them some before he died was never part of his plan. Getting anything from the inheritance wasn't really my point in posting, but thinking about it if I'm legally entitled to some, then why not, after all why should his 2nd other woman benefit and I don't, I was around a lot longer than she will be, not to mention if he (ex) marries her then dies, her kids get it, who were nothing to do with my in laws! I'm sure he'll (ex) file for divorce sooner rather than later in the hope it's all done and dusted before his dad passes, I'll just need to stall at every step! Thank you again everyone, it really feels like I have people fighting my financial corner

Thank you for your interest, I posted a cheque direct to the solicitors for £211, £1 for the purchase and £210 for the fees. I'm guessing now I'm a bit more with it, that the solicitors were acting for the trustee and I didn't actually have one, I think at the time I was so relieved it was a way to stop the house being taken because of the bankruptcy, and also it would stop any of his (ex) creditors in the future being able to put orders on it, I didn't think the consequences through. I was never involved in any of the meetings between my now ex husband and the trustee in his bankruptcy so was only told what he wanted me to believe I.e all charging orders/restrictions would be dissolved in the bankruptcy, he's still telling me now they were!

I'm sure you do, pretty well known in the field or should I say paddock!

The official receiver was the trustee, I was offered the chance to buy his beneficial interest for £1 plus £210 for solicitors fee's. I contacted the acting solicitors last year after the ex left and they told me they acted in the trustees interest so couldnt talk to me about it. I wasn't in a good enough place then to question them but feel I probably could now. I also contacted the creditor with the biggest restriction to tell them he didn't live here any more, I gave them his dad's address because I knew he'd have to stay in contact with them for fear of his dad finding out about the huge debt and getting a you know what from him. I haven't received any mail for him from them since, so guess they've accepted he doesn't live here. Thinking back now to the emails I sent to the creditor, explaining my fears about being left at 65 with no home, but they still allowed me to believe it was possible they'd be paid from the proceeds, now I know it's just a restriction, that seems pretty mean of them.

They wouldn't or shouldn't act for me if they're acting for any of them, just like I believe the trustee and myself should have had different ones.

Thanks Mr P, I'm led to believe that we should leave the marriage equal, but he'll find a way around it he always does, who else do you know that's been trading for 10 years plus and hasn't submitted a tax return! I'd be happy to walk away with nothing if the tax man took it from him. In all honesty I'm happy to learn that the equity there is in the house, or will be in 10 years (hopefully) will be mine and not his creditors, anything on top is a bonus. I never had anything the whole time I was with him, so won't miss what I've never had. He does have a pension which was frozen about 3 years after we got together, don't think it was massively profitable, but he can take 25% tax free (his whole entire income has been tax free!) so maybe he'll offer me that at least now he won't need it. So grateful to you for bothering to post, means so much to have unbiased advice Maddie

Thanks King, all this positive talk is doing me wonders, I've had a real rough time of it since he left, everything else I've managed to deal with but the real terrifying thought was that I'd loose my home because of his mid life crisis! You should see how he acts around me, it's quite pathetic, acting like he's Brad Pitt but actually looks more like Peter Stringfellow ha ha! thank you so much, I will definitely seek legal advice and keep you kind people posted.

I can guarentee he will be unreasonable, he'll plead poverty, he started that the second he moved out, the fact that he was in a £900 a month rented flat with other woman number 1 (living with number 2 now in less than two years) taking several holidays a year and buying new work vans indicated he was lying, but that's just normal for him, he actually believes his own lies. The man turned into a monster, no idea why, it was his choice to leave, I tried all I could to get him back so not sure why he has so much hatred for me. My thinking is, it'll be him who wants the divorce not me so Im hoping if I agree to it he'll pay the costs as he knows I don't have any money to pay for solicitors etc. Thanks again, I wish CAG had a divorce forum

OMG thank you so much! I'm so relieved, I will make an appointment with a solicitor to get ready, he's not inherited it yet, but it would be nice to be prepared, who knows he might just make me an offer without the need for solicitors.....and another pig just flown by! Fantastic news about the restriction, thank you all so much, might sleep tonight now! Maddie

That's great to hear. I'm wondering now though if the debt will go into the marital pot, I can guarentee his inheritance won't though, that'll be well hidden! I assume then if I do sell, the debt will revert back to being unsecured and they'll then go after him, hope so anyway! Sorry to sound bitter, but Iam Thank you for the reply, much appreciated

I am seperated and live in the former matrimonial home (no young children) there are two restrictions on the property in my ex husbands sole name. I bought the ex's beneficial interest from the trustee in 2009 when he (the ex) was declared bankrupt, for a nominal fee using the same solicitor as the trustee. I was unaware at that time that they were not dissolved in the bankruptcy. I only discovered that they remained 6 years later when he left me. I have recently learnt that he (the ex) will be inheriting 50% shares in two properties and will be getting a lump sum. This of course sticks in my throat a little given that throughout our entire marriage I lived under threat from debt collectors, bailiffs and HMRC because he never submitted tax returns or paid anything he could get away with. Only a few days ago he told me and I quote 'that house has nothing to do with me' So he swans off with the new love of his life leaving me with a huge interest only mortgage that will end in 10 years (I will be 64 then) and any equity I may have had will pay off his debt whilst he lives mortgage free! My questions are: 1) Would I have any grounds for potentially suing the solicitors for not acting in my best interest in the purchase of the beneficial interest, because I feel if it wasn't the same solicitors acting for both the trustee and myself they would probably advised me of the consequences. 2) Can the creditors with the restrictions try to collect it from him direct if they knew he had money/other properties with equity, or can they only collect it from the sale of my home now they have restrictions. 3) When we divorce and it comes to the financial side of things, would a judge expect him to pay off his debt as he's going to be financially secure and I'm not. I know he'll have to stay on the mortgage and I will be ordered to use my best endeavours to get him removed, but that's not going to happen on my income, that shouldnt affect his ability to buy himself somewhere to live because he'll have enough not to need a mortgage anyway. I cannot afford a solicitor, I have paid off over £3,000 in mortgage arrears accrued before he left, and am only now two years later just about getting back on my feet emotionally and financially. Any advice would be massively appreciated on the subjects of divorce and the restrictions as its worrying me immensely Thank you for reading my sob story

No I haven't, but I think she probably deduced that herself, I'm pretty sure she wasn't approached about the issue in the most friendliest of manners. I'm not worried about what people may or may not think about me staying where Iam, those who knew about the offer, knew I was really excited about the new challenge, so it's obvious it wasn't my choice. You did make an interesting point though, not something I thought about until you mentioned it. Thanks for your opinion, really appreciate your views Maddie

Hi all, not been on here for a while, I have been living a fairly simple life, albeit still struggling financially but just about managing with a bit of juggling. Anyone who knows me will know I was in a bit of a mess last year after husband walked out after 22 years of marriage, I had no Job, no money, a house that was falling apart, a medical scare and a broken heart. I feel I have made progress since then in all areas and am doing well at work.. I'm really just after opinions, I'm not intending to rock the boat at work but would be interested in what others think about something that happened recently. About 4 weeks ago a new lady joined the company I work for in a managerial role (different dept) quite by chance we got chatting and the conversation ended up with her offering me (and confirming via email) a position with her team. The days suited me better than my current role (I work every weekend) and it would be a permenant role, not seasonal as my current one is. As you can imagine, being on my own this was fantastic news as I really cannot afford to be without an income out of season, and there was more scope for overtime at the weekends whereas at the moment I never have that opportunity. I knew my current manager wasn't going to like it, but I was shocked at just how angry she was at the news, I had hoped that although she'd be sad to loose me, she would at least have appreciated the fact that it was more to do with financial security than anything else. She told me to go away, then promptly spoke with the new manager, coming back to me later telling me I had got it wrong and there was no role there, and certainly not permenant, (my email says otherwise though, 'I can create a role to match your hours') I'm in no doubt the role is there, having had that confirmed by the people on her team who the new manager had previously told I would be joining, and pleased I was. My current manager kind of emotionally blackmailed me into agreeing to stay in her dept,, I was very upset and felt guilty for betraying her, with all thoughts about how I'll manage in winter without an income went out of the window. I emailed the new manager that evening telling her I still want to accept the role, but understand if she feels she doesn't want me now bad feelings have been created. I have had no response. I feel like I've been treated unfairly by both managers, and if Im honest I don't trust my current manager, she does have the ability to make me feel useless and has done on many ocassions. Now suddenly she's only looking out for me! I appreciate Im fairly new to the company, but there really is no one else ahead of the queue for that role as my manager abruptly pointed out to me, it is a new role being created to sort out the mess in that department the previous manager left behind, if I'm honest I was perfect for it, as I'm probably the only one with both the manual and administration skills needed for the role. Feel so disappointed. What are your views?

It didn't matter Bazza, it was just my thought at the time, it would have explained how it occurred that's all, nothing more.

Went to the police station tonight, they were really helpful and nice to me as I was still pretty distressed. The officer who interviewed me said he would recommend to whoever it is that I do a course, not the normal driving awareness course but some other kind, ultimately the decision isn't his, but said they usually go with his recommendation. He seemed happy that I wasn't using my phone when the accident happened. Insurance company contacted and the claim is underway. I shall take this as a very big warning to concentrate on nothing but driving in future and not allow my mind to wander. Thanks for all your support Maddiemay

I did tell the police I sent the first text whilst sat in traffic and started typing out second one before moving on, I'm not intending on changing that. I did expect to see more than two cars involved, only realised it was my fault when I went to check the driver and she hadn't hit the car in front. Thanks for advising me on the solicitor thing, probably won't bother with one. Thanks again for the advice.

Hi all Not my usual reason for posting, thankfully all my debts are now under control. Tonight I went into the back of the car in front, no issue there, automatically my fault I accept that, but I had replied to a text to my brother whilst sat in traffic at a stop/go sign about 10 minutes earlier, at the same time whilst still stationary (I know it s wrong but I genuinely was stopped) I started typing out another message to the person I was picking up, however it didn't get sent because the stop sign changed to go, and I was on my way so no need to tell the person as I would be there shortly, said person sent a text at some point between me starting off again and stopping after the accident, saying 'everything okay' as I was obviously late,. When I hit the car in front I got out, apologised to the driver in front, and asked if I should call the police and an ambulance, which I did. When the police arrived, they asked for my phone number, and as I couldn't see it a) because I was now crying and b) because I can't see close up without my glasses on, I accidentally scrolled to messages looking for my own number and the policeman saw the unsent message, and wrongly assumed I was replying to the 'everything okay' text with 'traffic bad' one, and that being the cause of the accident. The police seized my phone and will get the phone records, not sure what they hope to get that they can't see on the phone. I have to go tomorrow evening to be interviewed, I was cautioned and told I could take legal representation with me or ask for a duty solicitor. My questions are, I'm on a low wage, and on my own (my dear husband of 22 years left me earlier this year for someone else) will I have to pay for the duty solicitor, is the offence that serious that I need one, if it wasn't for the fact he'd accidentally seen this unsent text it would have been a simple not stopping when the car in front did. I'm so terrified about being interviewed, never had any accidents in the whole 33 years I've been driving. Sorry it's so long, Any help would be really appreciated Maddie

Finally got to court yesterday,. Their solicitor used the Carey V HSBC case as being allowed to use a redacted CCA, despite the fact the previous judge ordered the original to be at the hearing, DJ had no clue about CCA law, but chose to believe everything their man said, even though he was completely twisting everything to confuse her, in the end I couldn't be bothered to argue, I was just wasting my time. Thankfully this is the last debt I have, and I can now relax and forget about it all. Payment amount was set at £10 per month. Just glad it's over. Thanks for the advise over the last 18 months or so that this has been going on.

The only original reference to terms and conditions I have is a document the actually credit card came attached to. The many pages of T&C the claimant has sent, have conflicting information, such as interest rates.