Neighbour won't compromise

[karlew]

Hi all

 

First time for me on this forum. I have seen several posts regarding nuisance neighbours and was wondering if anyone had experienced mediation, which I attended with my next door neighbour today and also wondered what my options are from now on.

 

My neighbour moved in about 1 1/2 years ago. I have endured screaming from her kid on a daily basis since, made worse by the nice weather when all the windows in her property are opened, she shouts at her daughter all the time and it goes on for hours and starts about 7am even on weekends. Apparently her daughter has mental health issues although she has not yet seen any professional about it.

 

I attended mediation today where the mother stormed off twice, accused me of things that weren't true, attacked me verbally and interrupted me, (this was allowed to happen by the mediator) I wasn't given the opportunity to reply to these attacks. Eventually because she is 'suffering from depression' (again unconfirmed) the family are in no position to keep the noise down, apparently because of the mental health issues, her daughter is not able to be kept quiet, she is unable to stop shouting, the dog needs the back door open to run in and out of the house, when tackled about this they agreed the dog could be let back into the house, but said the windows need opening as they both smoke. It was suggested they go outside which the male agreed to but the female is unable to apparently due to a newly formed agoraphobia (unconfirmed). Despite this she left the meeting to go outside the venue for a fag. A vague agreement was made but it was very wishywashy as she was at the time threatening to drive off in her husband's car, and she can't drive. Therefore I don't see a proper outcome to the meeting.

 

They are risking my career which I have worked hard for, my daughter's and my own health is suffering greatly both physically and mentally and apparently there is nothing that can be done. The mediator fell for the sob story completely and said that nothing could happen anyway as the housing association will not remove a family when there are mental health issues. Is this true?!!!? My neighbour told me it's the way it is and it's going to get worse as her kids get older! Surely there is something I can do about this bully? Everyone seems to fall for her stories and feel sorry for her, but I hear her laughing all the time and talking about similar bullying behaviour towards the mothers at the school her daughter attends too.

 

I hope someone knows how I can take this forward as I really liked my home, but I hate living here now. I've invested a lot of time and money into getting it nice as it was a disaster when I first moved in and am very reluctant to move.

 

I hope someone can help, it's making me feel completely miserable

Karlew

[caro]

Hi and welcome to CAG. Have you been in touch with the housing association? Anti-social behaviour is generally high on their radar and can lead to eviction.

[SabreSheep]

Envrionmental health?

[karlew]

Hi and welcome to CAG. Have you been in touch with the housing association? Anti-social behaviour is generally high on their radar and can lead to eviction.

 

Thanks for your replies. The housing association are aware of the situation, they insisted on the mediation and arranged it, even though I knew it would be a waste of time. Someone said if I didn't turn up for mediation I'm not willing to sort things out so I did and it was horrible. I was also outnumbered by two to one which I thought wasn't allowed to happen. I don't know what the next step is, it seems that 'mental illness' trumps everything.

 

I was thinking of contacting environmental health but not sure if they would take the same view regarding her inability to stop shouting, even though the woman managed to sit in a stressful situation with me yesterday for two hours without raising her voice once.

 

K

Edited October 22, 2014 by karlew

[king12345]

She's not been diagnosed with any condition and neither has her daughter, so it's all a made up story.

Go back to the housing association and insist on an investigation.

Point out their false claims.

There are things you could do to make their life more miserable than yours, but many caggers disagree on such methods.

However, sometimes these animals that happened to be classified as humans because they share our same dna, only understand extreme measures.

I really feel sorry for you.

A few years back my next door neighbour was selling his house and we were terrified at the thought of having nasty new neighbours.

We ended up acting as estate agents and fortunately convinced our friends to purchase the property.

It costed us a lot of hard work because we promised to help them redecorating the whole house, fit a new kitchen and bathroom and help them move in.

We also stored their furniture while work was taking place.

It was worth it!

[mariner51]

At least OP achieved face to face mediation, the Mediator will be aware of both parties demeanour. Mediation outcome takes longer than 24 hrs, poss several weeks, it is not a Courtroom where the guilty can sentenced immediately.

With neighbour disputes, if no satisfactory resolution, the only option is for complainant to move, citing unacceptable neighbour behaviour.

In this case, HA would have to inform new Ts of OPs complaint against the neighbour, or vice versa if offending neighbours vacate.

[karlew]

Hi Thanks for your replies

 

Just an update. Apparently my problems are not down to anti social behaviour, they are 'lifestyle differences' between myself and my neighbour! The housing association now say they have exhausted all avenues and mediation did not work so the only alternative is for me to move. Shocking.

 

They have suggested 'direct matching' which I can only assume is them finding me a house elsewhere. They also added 'away from a family estate'. It's like I hate kids or something, it's really insulting I care for children in my job! It's my next door neighbours screaming brats and stupid mother I can't stand!

 

K

Edited November 27, 2014 by karlew

[citizenB]

Are there other neighbours who are suffering due to this ?

[karlew]

Are there other neighbours who are suffering due to this ?

 

Hiya,

 

I assume they must be affected but don't say anything, probably worried about repercussions as she is very aggressive. However, one of my neighbours apparently have made a complaint (funny enough they have young kids) also but they belong to another housing association so can't confirm this as the other HA won't talk to me about it.

 

K

[citizenB]

You could perhaps talk to the other neighbour who has made a complaint. I would think even if they belong to a different HA - the fact that the nuisance neighbour is disturbing others strengthens your case.

[caro]

Perhaps the other HA will be more proactive.

 

I'd keep complaining to HA and keep a record every time there's a problem. In your tenancy agreement I believe there should be a clause that the HA should ensure you have quiet enjoyment of your property (or words to that effect). Escalate your complaint that the HA are breaking the tenancy agreement. ASB costs HAs a lot of money in legal fees, but likewise your neighbours are breaking their TA by causing problems to neighbours.

Edited November 28, 2014 by caro