grievance help - dilemma

[tina1987]

Hi all,

 

I could do with some advice because I've no idea what I'm doing.

 

Last week, I resigned from my job due to a "hostile environment" - I did so in writing giving the required 30 days notice. I also thanked them for the fantastic opportunity I'd been given at their company.

 

My problem/query is that I am leaving because of one rather toxic staff member but I haven't stated any names in my resignation. I've always been quiet and tried to avoid trouble etc. Unfortunately, I haven't got the confidence to put a grievance even though others have (I'm not the only one). To be honest, the whole thing has made me feel anxious/sick so I'd rather just leave quietly.

 

Anyway, tomorrow, an area manager is travelling down to "talk to" me. My role is not easy to replace and I know that management hate recruiting so I'm assuming she'll want to discuss why I'm leaving/give an exit interview etc.

 

My query is this:

 

What's the minimum amount of information I can get away with telling the area manager without offending her?

 

Also, if I do not "spill the beans" - can they stop my final wages? I feel so nervous.

 

I know I sound cowardly but I don't want to mention this woman's name. She's already on a last warning and I'd feel terrible if she lost her job because she would struggle financially. On the other hand, I can't take her bullying anymore either.

 

Thankyou for your time - Tina x

[Sparks_]

I would tell the area manager everything! How easy would it be to get another job for yourself? Wouyld you be able to support yourself whilst looking for work as you wont get JSA I think because you left your last job.

[renegadeimp]

Be honest and upfront. If you are concerned about talking about specific people, simply ask to speak off the record. That way they wont be officially investigated but will be closely monitored.

[Sidewinder]

Agreed. This sounds like an 'exit interview' designed to help understand why staff leave and what might be done in cases where it is due to dissatisfaction to improve the environment for those who remain. Be honest and say that you have been forced to leave due to the situation between yourself and a colleague. You do not have to name names if you don't want to, but you owe it to yourself (an to your colleagues) to state that you are unhappy to be leaving but you feel that you have no choice.

 

If the colleague concerned is indeed 'toxic' then she will ultimately bring about her own downfall. The company may already be aware of the underlying reason that you are leaving.

 

And no, your wages cannot be withheld.

[SabreSheep]

Also

 

If you have nothing to lose or gain then your evidence is more credible. It may be that the manager has heard of issues before and would like to try and get information in order to resolve the problems.

 

They may be able to resolve the situation. I would advise you give them a chance to resolve it.

[tina1987]

Hi Sparks,

 

Thankyou for your reply. It wouldn't be too hard to get another job because until now, I have finished all of my contracts with positive references. This is the only one I've actually resigned from. Previous employers contact me about every 3 months to see if I'm available for a new post. I could always contact one of those. With regards to JSA, I wouldn't be entitled because of leaving my job, but I have savings and would be ok to support my children and I financially for about 2-3 months comfortably and 4-6 months if we were skint. I also have the option to go self-employed.

 

My fundamental drawback is my nerves. If I tell the area manager everything, she'll probably get sacked and I'd feel awful. That must make me look ridiculous but I suffer with anxiety and it's hard to describe. I'm fairly certain that she'll be sacked soon anyway for how she is treating others. However, I just want to leave as quietly and I can.

 

Thanks Sparks - any feedback I'd be grateful for x

[SabreSheep]

I understand the nerves, but what about the suffering you have had to endure?

This person you said created a toxic environment that has forced you out of a job.

 

What if everyone chose to do the same? She would be able to inflict her pain on others. How would you feel knowing others who are not as fortunate as you could be put out of a job because noone decided to take a stand.

[tina1987]

Hi all,

 

Thankyou all for your help. I never even thought about speaking off the record.

 

If I do speak off the record, is there anyway they can confront her with it anyway? I've only met the area manager twice and she seems reasonable.

 

Sabre: thankyou for your reply. I've already been advised to put in a grievance by a colleague. Unfortunately, I'm not in a position physically or mentally to take a stand (I can express myself much better in text )

[*RainbowTears*]

Sounds awful Tina!

 

The way I look at your dilemma is like this;

 

You are all but being "bullied" out off your job by this toxic colleague..

 

Whose made you so nervous that you can't really speak out about what's gone on!

 

So your leaving, as you said "quietly".

 

BUT why should you?

 

You have done absolutely nothing wrong!

 

So A; Why should it be "you" that goes & B; Why should you use your savings to support your family!! Esp when you have a job!!

 

Do not let this toxic colleague behaviour, make you feel this way!

 

I do feel you should also be truly honest with your Area Manager & if the toxic colleague looses their job, it won't be your fault!!

 

It's 100% all on them due to their behaviour!

 

Q for you. Say the Colleague does get sacked, would you then be able/or want to continue on in your job?

 

Lastly by standing up for yourself against this Colleague, it can empower you & make you feel so much better for doing so...

 

I do hope your dilemma is resolved in a way that's good for you. Good luck!

[rebel11]

Hi Tina

 

You say others have put in a 'Grievance', you could all have put in a 'Collective/Joint Grievance', your Area Manager having received a 'Grievance' from others will have a very good idea of why you are leaving and want's confirmation, the only way to get confirmation is to speak to you. Also to talk you around to staying. You've done nothing wrong, you need to stay, be more assertive, don't worry about the 'bully', sounds like she will get sacked at some stage with out any input from you, as others have already complained.

 

The Area Manager will probably treat the matter as a 'Collective/Joint Grievance'.

 

'I haven't got the confidence to put a grievance even though others have (I'm not the only one)'

[Emmzzi]

technically you don't *have* to do an exit interview at all. But "I'm just not enjoying it" repeated over and over is an acceptable way to handle things.

 

While I don't agree with not dropping colleagues in it - their actions are their own to bear! - I support your choice which has to be what is best for your mental health at any given time.

[tina1987]

Update:

 

Thanks everyone.

 

I was called in to see the area manager who was upset that I'd resigned and had an idea of who it was because. No names were mentioned though.

 

I explained that I'd been anxious over the last few weeks due to just one staff member. I thanked her for hiring me as I loved working for them and it's really enhanced my skill-set but I'd like to leave quietly because I don't want to get anyone into trouble. She asked me to leave while she rang her boss and then called me back in again.

 

She told me that it was bullying and has basically said the same thing you've all said. She has asked me to put a formal grievance in and was reassuring me that she has an idea of who the problem is because, apparently, someone else has "spoken off the record" to her too. This someone else also doesn't want to put a grievance in.

 

She has tried to persuade me to put a grievance in on the grounds that she speaks to the "someone else" to see if they'd be willing too, now there's 2 of us. She couldn't guarantee that the problem staff member wouldn't be dismissed.

 

As a sweetener, I think, the area manager started discussing applying for promotions etc., great worker etc. and if I was normal I'd disclose, put in a grievance and accept.

 

The area manager has not "accepted" my resignation today (???) but will speak to me on Sunday after I've had a think about it. I'm not at work between now and then, and I'm going to the GP soon to discuss something to help my nerves.

 

I don't think I can do it but I don't want to upset the area manager either.

 

Thanks again everyone x

[Emmzzi]

Sounds like you have support if you decide that is what you want to do, which is great.

 

But stick with what is best for you!

 

Good luck whatever you decide

 

xx

[tina1987]

Cheers Emmzzi - thankyou for both your posts. It's not easy for me to stand up for myself even though it's the most rational thing to do - thankyou for acknowledging and appreciating that.

[rebel11]

Having a supportive Area Manager is a big plus, you enjoy your job, your good at your job, if you move to another job, you might face the same situation.

 

Cheers Emmzzi - thankyou for both your posts. It's not easy for me to stand up for myself even though it's the most rational thing to do - thankyou for acknowledging and appreciating that.

[izzitme101]

having a supportive area manager is a huge bonus imo.

I have had similar issues myself, and usually leave for the same reasons.

This time tho, i decided to speak to my shift manager first, and she is very good.

I have been at this job for 3 and a half years now, although it took a few weeks to resolve properly.

I would encourage you to work with your area manager,and let her know about your issues,

especially because she sounds supportive, which i have found very rare.

It is worth giving her a real chance to sort the issue out,and if it works out, you still have

a job you are good at, and enjoy.

Please think seriously about it