Paying csa when child is working

[luckybird00]

I have contacted them and have heard nothing! I have seen his facebook statuses saying that he has worked a 72 hour week and his mum congratulating him on it!

[Zed2820]

There could be different reasons for the facebook post. Firstly, he may have been bragging and his mum, knowing you are on his FB could be winding you up knowing it will annoy you. (This is what my ex does....he loves a bit of trouble!) OR he may have been working extra hours on top of his approved training which has led to him working "overtime"....72 hours does sound an awful lot to me, my 16 year old managed about 10!!! An approved training such as an apprenticeship can be up to 40 hours a week. that scenario could leave, for example all weekend to do two 16 hour shifts somewhere. (unlikely but possible) Its just my opinion but it sounds like some exaggaerating is going on here on your sons behalf...my son does that too!

As for the CB office....just keep pestering them. In my experience, sadly, you simply do not get anywhere with these agencies and departments with out being extremely persistent. Always be polite and try to explain your predicament calmly, and ask for names and what you would like them to do for you. Always ask for a time frame in which you can expect things to be done too.

As for your own peace of mind...try to think of things this way...Your son may be earning his own money and it may turn out you are paying support unecessarily, in which case you should seek a repayal, but (I learned this with my older daughter who is twenty and is independent now), children seem to need our financial support for a long time after we think they are financially independent, so maybe you could consider this period extra support for your young adult who is just starting to make his way in the world. You dont mention if you have contact with him. Would you be able to contact him perhaps and see what hes up to in his life? It might give you a clearer picture of how hes handling his finances and also his training/education. You pay money to your ex, but it IS for your son. Maybe there is a different way you could support him?

As far as to what is really going on....do you know mutual friends/relatives who could inform you as to what is happening? This could be used as evidence fopr the CB office. Its the sense of being deceived which irks the most i suspect....i hate that too...and frustration that noone will do anything about it. Put your emotions to one side and contact the CB office again to reconfirm your suspicions. send any eveidence you can. Good luck!

[The Quen of Darkness]

Hi,

 

We were in the same position a couple of years ago with my husband's daughter & ex - the daughter's facebook posts made it clear she was working full time & not at college as her mother told the CSA. Unfortunately, the CSA always sides with the PWC & believe everything they say without checking.

 

The only way we got the situation resolved was to report the mother for benefit fraud for continiuing to claim child benefit - some weeks after this we got a letter from the CSA informing my husband that he no longer had to pay anything.

 

A word of warning however - NEVER ask for a refund from the CSA, as although you are entitled to all monies back that have been fraudulently claimed from you, they will make up some arrears from previous years.

 

Hope this helps

[luckybird00]

I have no relationship with my son what so ever and they am not aware I can see the facebook statuses.

My ex is telling my son i am not paying a penny to him and making him contribute to household bills etc as he is earning.

[Zed2820]

What a shame. In honesty it is all up to the Child Benefit office to sort this out- your ex is comitting fraud. There may be other benefits she is fraudulantly claiming too, so it is their interests to get this sorted. I still think you should persue this through them. If you dont mind me asking, how can you see their FB status without them knowing? Do you perhaps share a common friend who could provide more information? There is an actual benefit fraud hotline which you could maybe try to see if there is a different result? How long ago did you report this to the CBO? It may take some time to check out the validity of her claim.

 

I understand The quen of darkness reticence (see post before yours) in asking for a repayment because of her experience, but in fact, if you are up to date with your payments and always have been, I would definately try.

 

I myself am currently going through a battle with the CSA, and I will be the first to admit it IS a very hard and infuriating process. But I genuinely believe I am owed money and will go down every avenue to have it repaid to me. In the end I have to for my child.

Could you do a little detective work of your own? It sounds a bit sneaky and would probably take up some of your time, but maybe you could try to establish where your son works? Perhaps a private detective could help? Its more money I know, but if it saved you money in the long run? Maybe you could ask a solicitors advice- you get a free hours consultation.

As for your son not knowing that you are supporting him all i can say is the truth will out in the end. it is very sad that his mother has chosen to lie like this, because it harms her sons self esteem as well as his respect towards you. However, there will come a day when he finds out the truth, and he wont thank her for it. Dont give up hope...try the benefits route first and if you have no luck I would get a bit more sneaky about the whole thing!

[luckybird00]

Thanks for the guidance... i have a friend whose son who is friends with mine who saw it on facebook.

i also now have a 16 month old son who i am struggling to support as i am paying almost 500 pound through the csa.

[Zed2820]

Good grief! Thats a hell of alot of support to be paying! I dont think the CSA recognise that sometimes one child suffers because of the amount of money another is supposed to receive in support. I had this problem too as my son didnt live with me until three years ago, but I have two daughters whos father I am with, and we struggled so much to live whilst i paid support for my son. Also, it became quite problematic seeing my son and having him to stay every weekend and holidays, because we had no money to feed him or fetch him or do anything! We soldiered on through it and made the best of things but i remember feeling pretty miserable about it all at the time.

 

Could your sons friend find out where he works? I know theyre pretty cagey about talking to adults about their mates at that age, but if you could find his employer you could pass that info on to the child benefit office for them to investigate. That would be my plan. Take some action, because you have nothing to lose, and you WILL find out something to help this situation, especially if you are persistant. Its worth it.

[luckybird00]

Im just glad its only for a few more years! I wouldnt care if the money was going to my son but its not and now i am struggling to support my 16 month old! Its so frustrating!

[*Thumper]

You should have declared the 16 month old, when the baby was born

your payments will reduce, considerably

 

Have you informed the benefits office, about the child working fulltime.

 

I thought we now lived in a country run by Daily Mail readers,

and looked down on benefits fraudsters