Do you tell people you are on ESA?

[Zarbafi]

If this is an inappropriate posting then please forgive me but I am curious,

 

do those of you on ESA as I am tell people you get this benefit?

 

Personally only my closest family and my boyfriend know because previous experiance has shown me that it can prejudice people against you these days

and as I have an invisible and fluctuationg condition people who see me on a day when I am well might think

I am playing the system especially in the current attitude to claiments of disability benefits.

 

I am curious if other people are also wary telling others that they are on ESA or the like?

[Nystagmite]

It depends who it is and why they've asked tbh.

 

In general, no. A few years ago, I was talking to a friend about something, which ended up with him asking me if I receive DLA, which I was fine with discussing; because I knew it wasn't a "I don't think you should be claiming" type question and know him well enough to have that kind of discussion with him.

[Zarbafi]

If people ask me what I am doing at the moment I say I am working from home self employed even though I am not, I used to work freelance so it is easy enough to fudge the truth for me. Its not my intention to decieve anyone but it feels to me like the fewer people who know your on benefits the better these days.

[Nystagmite]

I'm a part time student; so I say I study.

[osdset]

I no longer admit to being on ESA, on the surface I look perfectly normal it's my lungs that are giving up. It's only if I get short of breath that anyone notices anything.

I used to admit I was on ESA because I didn't see why I shouldn't, but I have found that people now can be pretty hostile, especially as I am not in a wheelchair or have an oxygen mask on, or any of the obvious signs.

[dasis16]

The people I care about know, including friends and family. But I really don't see very many people as I am essentially house-bound. My standard line if anyone happens to ask is "I'm unemployed due to a disability". People don't seem to dig past that really.

 

All of my "issues" (for want of a better term) are mental health/learning disabilities, and so not really visible at all. I do worry at some point I'll come across hostility, and so wouldn't broadcast my situation. In my opinion, there are so many people that need more education. Many seem to think you have to be in a wheelchair in order to be disabled!

[Invalidation]

Well its like telling people how much you get paid if youre working.

Benefits are a private affair

[estellyn]

I haven't said anything to family - they don't ask specifics, but probably guess. In laws are worried how we're coping financially. As I'm also mostly housebound (apart from dr's appts), I don't see anyone apart from husband, so there is no one else to tell. But I reckon I'd go with the freelance work from home line, if pushed. I'm also not in a wheelchair - though will be forced there eventually, so stubbornly refuse to use one until I absolutely have to.

[Nystagmite]

Many seem to think you have to be in a wheelchair in order to be disabled!

 

I've noticed this. I'm also young and get dirty looks from people too because I look healthy and use disabled facilities. (such as the toilet)

[antone]

Well its like telling people how much you get paid if youre working.

Benefits are a private affair

 

Agreed, but many folks who wouldn't dream of asking a working person what they earn seem to feel fine about nosing into the affairs of those they think may be on benefits.

[estellyn]

Agreed, but many folks who wouldn't dream of asking a working person what they earn seem to feel fine about nosing into the affairs of those they think may be on benefits.

 

So true.

[RaeUK]

It's not really something that comes up in conversation. Family and friends know but, then again, they also know I'm ill as it can be a bit difficult to hide. My neighbours must know as I live in a small village and it's obvious I don't work. But, again, they also see me when I'm both 'ok' and in difficulty. I've lived here for about 15 years so they've also known me when I was working - sometimes 100 hours a week - so it shouldn't be a problem. I've certainly never had much in the way of a negative experience. (Touch wood, fingers crossed etc).

[RaeUK]

I no longer admit to being on ESA, on the surface I look perfectly normal it's my lungs that are giving up. It's only if I get short of breath that anyone notices anything.

I used to admit I was on ESA because I didn't see why I shouldn't, but I have found that people now can be pretty hostile, especially as I am not in a wheelchair or have an oxygen mask on, or any of the obvious signs.

I can empathise as I'm in the same boat with my lungs. Sometimes I can't avoid mentioning it to people - for example, I may be in a shop and getting overly breathless and talking is difficult - then I find the phrase 'I'm sorry, I have a progressive lung disease' usually works wonders. Nobody has ever been hostile in response, quite the reverse. I think it's something everyone can relate to in one way or another.

A wheelchair will never be a solution for us as we have to try and remain as active as possible for as long as possible. As for oxygen, it isn't really a solution in many cases.

Best wishes with it and if you ever need a natter pm me.

[petes]

What is the problem with people asking and for others being honest and saying that you are?

 

The normal questions I get are "how do you manage now that you don't work - I'll bet it is a shock to the system?"

 

I tell them straight that I am on benefits which taking everything into account gives me a similar income as I used to get when I was working.

 

Some ask, and I tell them - "in total about £650 a week - why do you think I retired at 60!" That soon shuts them up!!

 

Personally I don't care what others think or say or even how they treat me. I've grown a thick skin in my employment which now serves me well.

 

One thing that irritates people is when I comment that I don't get out of bed before 9am anymore and plan my day to suit myself and my wife.

 

I really would like to see the first guy to try to make any comment that I consider is out of order.

[estellyn]

What is the problem with people asking and for others being honest and saying that you are?

 

The normal questions I get are "how do you manage now that you don't work - I'll bet it is a shock to the system?"

 

I tell them straight that I am on benefits which taking everything into account gives me a similar income as I used to get when I was working.

 

Some ask, and I tell them - "in total about £650 a week - why do you think I retired at 60!" That soon shuts them up!!

 

Personally I don't care what others think or say or even how they treat me. I've grown a thick skin in my employment which now serves me well.

 

One thing that irritates people is when I comment that I don't get out of bed before 9am anymore and plan my day to suit myself and my wife.

 

I really would like to see the first guy to try to make any comment that I consider is out of order.

 

There's much more acceptance of 'retiring' even if a little early, and being on benefits, than being of working age and being sick or disabled and on benefits, especially if it is a condition that isn't visually obvious. Those of us who are younger do suffer anything from unkind remarks to outright abuse by those who define us 'scroungers'.

[Guest]

Yes that's very true estellyn, I have had experience of that. I keep myself to myself pretty much so its only family that know my business, but am sure neighbours etc have noticed I don't appear to work. Having Bipolar, I tend to go out when I am ok or well but on the bad days I don't leave the flat unless its for a GP appointment. Same when my Fibromyalgia flares up and I am in a lot of pain or chronic fatigue. So when people see me ...I look ok I guess. They don't see me on the bad days. The bad days can go on for weeks/months. Come to think of it maybe when they don't see me they assume I am at work....

[Zarbafi]

Thanks for all the replies, its very interesting. I agree that when you are younger and of normal working age you are more likely to experiance negative comments about being on ESA. I have no idea what my neigbours think but like you Ruby they only really see me when I am well and up and about and they may assume I am working freelance again. I guess my postman knows as he delivers my letters from the DWP and ATOS but he isn't local so I doubt he tells people.

 

Perhaps it would be braver to just admit it as Pete does, perhaps it would help the people around you to understand just how badly your illness or disability effects you and also help to counteract some of the stereotypes of claiments shown in the media, but the climate is just so hostile at present I prefer to keep this private.

[Nystagmite]

Perhaps it would be braver to just admit it as Pete does, perhaps it would help the people around you to understand just how badly your illness or disability effects you and also help to counteract some of the stereotypes of claiments shown in the media, but the climate is just so hostile at present I prefer to keep this private.

 

I made the mistake of doing this one time and was told I shouldn't be receiving benefits because apparently, there's nothing wrong with me. Or am I the only one who keeps many of their disabilities private because of the nature of them and /or because of peoples' reactions?

[pitcher]

If this is an inappropriate posting then please forgive me but I am curious,

 

do those of you on ESA as I am tell people you get this benefit?

 

Personally only my closest family and my boyfriend know because previous experiance has shown me that it can prejudice people against you these days

and as I have an invisible and fluctuationg condition people who see me on a day when I am well might think

I am playing the system especially in the current attitude to claiments of disability benefits.

 

I am curious if other people are also wary telling others that they are on ESA or the like?

Hi all,

Going right back to the start of this thread. Why should any one be afraid to say, I'm ill or I'm disabled?

Well, if you read the right-wing press then you are not striving and therefore YOU are a burden on all good and decent, working people.

This is, of course, utter nonsense but from my own experiences, I know, a lot of people hold this view.

The government, with their friends in the press, have done a good job of putting the low paid against the sick and disabled.

I'm lucky, I don't claim ESA but if I had to, I would be very careful about who I trusted with this information.

It's not fair, It's not right but that's how it is.

My best,

pitcher.

Edited April 23, 2013 by pitcher

[osdset]

What is the problem with people asking and for others being honest and saying that you are?

 

The normal questions I get are "how do you manage now that you don't work - I'll bet it is a shock to the system?"

 

I tell them straight that I am on benefits which taking everything into account gives me a similar income as I used to get when I was working.

 

Some ask, and I tell them - "in total about £650 a week - why do you think I retired at 60!" That soon shuts them up!!

 

Personally I don't care what others think or say or even how they treat me. I've grown a thick skin in my employment which now serves me well.

 

One thing that irritates people is when I comment that I don't get out of bed before 9am anymore and plan my day to suit myself and my wife.

 

I really would like to see the first guy to try to make any comment that I consider is out of order.

 

Looks like the dog has dug his bone up again and is running from forum to forum with it.

[RaeUK]

Well, that thought had crossed my mind ... #trollfindergeneral

[abc123def]

I mistakenly mentioned to a neighbour that I had depression, didn't mention benefits but she knows I don't work. Then her 17yo daughter facebook messaged my dd (they aren't fb friends) and said that I was a benefit scrounger and the country couldn't afford people like me, that I had nothing to be depressed about and should get off my fat backside and get a job. Then I heard from another neighbour that emails about me were being sent to other neighbours from that family too. I made a mistake tbh in mentioning anything and now my business is my business and I don't mention anything at all. In fact I wave and try and look friendly but move on by without talking to anyone.

[reallymadwoman]

I was recently at my local pharmacy to pick up a prescription. There was quite a queue all of whom could clearly see me approach the little desk and fill in the back of the form. One woman commented to her companion, loud enough for the whole shop to hear 'Another one on benefits! Shame we can't all get them'.

 

Personally I'd have ignored it - any sort of conflict stresses me out - but my daughter was with me. She snatched the form from my hand, shoved it in the woman's face, and said

 

"Actually, it says medical exemption, which you only get if you need the pills to keep you alive you ignorant cow. Still want to swap places?'

 

The rest of the queue applauded.

 

I am very obviously disabled (and on IB and DLA), but clearly some people think no one should have benefits.

[Nystagmite]

I had to fill in a housing application form with my "support worker" and she asked how much I receive in benefits per week. I told her. She then decided last week that I receive plenty and therefore, should be able to afford £7.50 a week for the next 6 weeks on something. I may supposedly get a lot of money; but like many disabled people, I have extra costs. She decided to discuss this with me in front of a group of people.