Interview Under Caution

[alessia1989]

Hi all,

 

Im new to this so please bear with me. I have googled a few posts on here about interview under caution and found them helpful. But im still would like some advice.

 

I recieved a letter from the jobcenter yesterday calling me in for a interview under caution about my income support. They believe that i am living with someone.

 

Ok so im not.

 

Let me explain... i get DLA higher rate for care. My bf is down as my carer. He stays 3 nights a week. There have been times when he has stayed more nights this is because i am pregnant and there have been a few problems. Also i have been going thru a court case with my ex husband about my 2 year old son. He was taken away from me by my ex and it has been going thru court. This made my depression a lot worse and as i said there have been times my bf has stayed over more than 3 nights as i have been really ill and needed him. The times i get ill i wont eat,get dressed or anything. I end up wanting to kill myself (i have taken serious overdoses in the past) and cut myself. Hence why sometimes he does stay over more than 3 nights. I maybe stupid and i shouldnt of let him but i didnt think it was a problem seeing as i was quite unwell.

 

Anyway most nights he stays 3 times a week the other nights he will come over and see me and will go back to his home (he lives with his mum and dad) once i have fallen asleep to make sure i am safe.

 

Most of his post goes to his mum and dads. He pays his parents rent- which they have said they are willing to say thats the truth. He does have a few letters come here. But i didnt think that was a problem seeing as i see him most days and he stays over 3 nights? Anyway his main bank he uses and his car insurence etc is all down at his mums address.

He pays nothing towards my rent or house hold bills. I pay for everything myself.

Im just a 21 year old mum who is trying to do the best by my son and live.

 

As i said i know ive doe wrong by etting his stay longer than 3 nights and i really havnt meant it on purpose but with my depression it can get to much sometimes. I just need the support.

I know im pregnant and we have talked about living together. But we dont want this to happen now. We feel its best to wait a while.

 

Anyway im so worried about this interview. Will they arrest me? This whloe situation has made me really ill again. im just not coping well and feel like ending it all. I really didnt mean any harm.

What do u think may happen? And what should i do? I read that i should bring evendiance like my bank statments and proof that he lives with his mum and dad like bills, car insurance etc.

 

Any advice would really really help. Also do u know if they stop ur benfits while this is going on?

 

Im so annoyed. The court case with my son is stoll on going and now this...im just at breaking point!

 

please dont judge me... i really didnt mean any of this to happen

 

thank u xxx

[rebel11]

Hi alessia

 

Welcome to CAG

 

The guys will provide advise as soon as they can. The guys won't judge you, they will offer advise and support so you can deal

with the situation.

[grrrrrr]

Ok, from everything I've read on here, the 3 nights thing is a myth, so it doesn't matter how many nights he stays over - I would guess even more so if he i your carer and you get higher care DLA. Higher care DLA means you NEED help at night, so they can hardly demand that you are in a relationship with your carer, can they?

 

Anyway, I think the main thing is not the 'living together' bit (which is too woolly to define) but the AS MAN AND WIFE bit. If you are not living as if married, then you need to show them this; and show that what they think 'living together' is is actually you being cared for.

 

I would VERY STRONGLY recommend you head on down to your local Citizen's Advice or any other welfare rights advisor, and delay the interview until you have had a chance to get proper advice.

 

If you try to do it on your own, you could end up saying one wrong thing while trying to just explain the difference between 'caring' and 'living together as man and wife'.

 

If you can get his mum to write a letter to prove he pays rent there, then get it, and photocopy car insurance & any other docs at his other address.

 

I get parcels delivered to my office ... but it doesn't mean I live there!

 

Just take all the info & support you can to your advisor and try and knock it on the head in one go.

 

Get advice, don't panic, and good luck

[alessia1989]

Today 20:02

grrrrrr ... thank u for replying really helped. So bacially i need to make clear that he is my carer and that we are not living together as man and wife...is that what u mean?

 

Also i have a housing support worker who is coming with me. He has done things like this before. Do u think that will be ok?

 

thanks so much for ur help...really helped me xxx