If you look at the DWP website you should find a list of eligibility to claim. I don't see any reason why you shouldn't be able to claim JSA, council tax and housing benefit though. Good luck! x

Hi there. I myself had an IUC for the exact same thing yesterday. I also convinced myself that they had some kind of "proof". They didn't. Like you, i hadn't done anything wrong and similarly was reported by my ex (haven't seen him for 4 years) after his mother, who see's our son told him i was in a relationship. Honestly, please do not worry. You know you have done nothing wrong and the chances are that if he has not registered anything to your address then they have nothing. They called me in on the basis of the phonecall! (see thread benefit fraud investigation! Help!) You are within your rights to seek legal advice, you can also have a solicitor present who can speak for you. Or you can take a friend or family member but they will not be able to speak for you. It is intimidating at first, but very quickly the lady realised that i had nothing to hide as i was honest with her. My advice to you is to go, alone. Have your wits about you and think carefully about what you say. They said to me "obviously you are in a relationship, that is why you are here!" when i told her that i wasn't, her face fell. I explained the circumstances and situation, she was fine and after the intervoew we had a friendly chat. If they ask if you know why you are there, say no. They will then have to tell you what they think you have done. I expect that they are simply taking you in on an IUC because it is the second time you have been reported. Seriously, i cannot emphasise enough that as you have done nothing wrong, you WILL be absolutely fine! You have reasons why your ex needs to be at the premises, he isn't named on any utility bills, i assume you don't recieve mail for him and at the end of the day you have a child together. You simply stayed on good terms for the sake of your child. I made the mistake of totally overthinking how bad things can look when taken from another angle. I worried myself sick and came out of the interview laughing at how ridiculous the accusations were! I hope this has to some degree put your mind at ease, if you have anymore questions i would be happy to answer them for you if i can. Keep us informed and thinking of you! x

Wow! After all that your daughter's been through your main concern is your finances? shocking. You allowed your daughter to "beat you"??????? Yes, that probably was the wrong decision. You are only teaching her that lashing out is a way to manage her anger. Never a good thing. Maybe you should have taught her how to talk through her issues and express herself in a positive way. Whichever way you choose to sugarcoat this, you are walking away from your daughter, what a message to send. You face a hurdle, you give up. You really want to do whats best for her? Then show her that she means enough to you that you will fight for her to the end. Show her that when things get tough you don't rollover, you fight for the things that you love. Show her that you will rise above anything that her mother may say about you, Explain things to her in an age appropriate way and be honest. Assure her and never judge, be there for her and give her stability. Its never going to be easy, but trust me as i speak from experience, It may take time but she will know that you did your best for her, that you loved her and never gave up on her, when she is old enough then she will realise that despite your personal battle with your condition you always thought of her first and for that she will love and respect you. You walk out on her now and you will always be the one that walked away. It won't matter why. If you still want to walk out of her life then at least be able to say you paid your way, you paid her upkeep. Regardless of what the CSA award the mum. I am a mum, i recieve no maintenence and i regularly go without so that my children can have. That is what being a parent is about. You make sacrifices, you are no longer number one. You have to face upto the fact that you don't have any control over what that mum says to your child, what she spends the money on but at least have your pride and allow yourself to say that you always put her first, that you didn't lower yourself to the level of petty bitterness and that you honestly did what you thought was best.

ah hun! i'm sure you'll be fine. If i've learnt anything from today and other people i've spoken to my advise to you would be to go to the interview, have your wits about you, and when they ask you do you know what its about... say no! that way they HAVE to tell you what they are accusing you of. If you are not comfortable to continue then say that you will seek legal advice and speak to them at a later date and leave ! The woman i had today seemed really suprised that i had attended alone, she even looked out the door after i entered the room to see if anyone was coming behind me even though she had escorted me from the seating area! I think that when i said if i went in there with a solicitor or friend i would be walking in with GUILTY tattooed on my head i was right. Its what they expect. I honestly think that you have nothing more than the repayment to worry about. Please, please be careful of the solicitor as while he may be getting paid from legal aid, he is still getting paid and in my experience of solicitors its a means to a paypacket and they will drag it out if necessary. You are obviously an intelligent woman who can express yourself well and to the point, go in there confident in your belief and think carefully about what you say and you will be fine. Bare in mind that after everything i read i thought that they must have 'something' on me. I was so wrong, they had nothing but the phonecall that tipped them off. I realise now that it was their intention to give me enough time to come up with possible explanations, to make me worry and to indimidate me in the hope that i would admit to something. Be honest. If they question you on the overpayment, state that you have already excepted this and have offered repayment, tell them that you feel that in part this was their fault and that they need to take responsibilty for their mistake. Tell them that you feel that calling you in for an IUC is overkill considering that they led you to believe the matter was dealt with and remember, yes, they can use the tape against you as evidence, but by you pointing out that it was their mistake, admitting to no more than what you have already admitted to AND that you have already offered repayment, which was, as far as you were led to believe, a satisfactory outcome they will look pretty daft going into court with that as evidence! If at any point during the interview you feel uncomfortable or unable to continue you can ask for a break, or to end the interview until you have the correct representation. I really do wish you all the best and thank you soooo much for the support you have given me, the kindness of strangers never fails to amaze me. Keep me updated, Em x

Hey guys!! good news!!! Cased closed! Here's a summary..... I went in to be greeted by rather moody looking lady. She cautioned me, made me sign to say i accept the caution, explained the caution etc. Then she asked me about the benefits i recieve and if there's any change in circumatance i had failed to declare. To which i replied no. Then she asked what changes i thought i should notify them of... i felt 12 years old lol! Then she asked a whole lot of questions about my son's sperm donor (the one i believe reported me, he's just been nailed by the CSA) Did i recieve maintenance, did he have contact, do i know where he live, where he works? ER... NO! She didn't ask a single question about my daughters sperm donor..... Thanks for the confirmation!! Anyhow, she said to me "well obviously you're in a relationship as that's why you've been called in!" Me: "er... no!" Her face dropped. So i said to her that i had been in a relationship and that it had ended last year, she asked me when, i said november. Again, her face hit the floor. I realised at this point that she had obviously had the report after we had finished. so i was honest. She asked how long we had been together, how serious the relationship had been, whether we had lived together, who he was, where he worked and where he lives (i didn't know and explained about the 999 call). Then she asked about the rats lol! (i got rats for the kids on the condition he would clean them cos i couldn't stand them and when we finished i asked him to take them cos they freaked me out, he did!) That actually made me giggle because it only confirmed it was the ex's parents that had called them! she was quite amused by this also! I told her honestly that the relationship had ended badly and that i'd had the police involved, gave her the date, she didn't want the crime reference number. Then she said " ah well, i may as well stp the tape as its obvious you haven't done anything wrong" she stopped the tape, told me that normally it would be sent to a decision maker but she wasn't going to bother as she was satisfied that nothing was amiss and was closing the case. We then had a conversation about loopy ex's and she told me that her daughter had recently got out of a relationship with a nutter. I told her about the pregnancy and she told me that the best thing i could do was to cut him off as he clearly had issues and he wouldn't have a leg to stand on in court anyway given everything that had happened!!!! I then went on to say that i knew that it was my son's grandparents that had reported it, that the csa had warned me and that given that they had given no consideration to how any of this affected him i was going to cut contact with them. Her reply? "I don't blame you!" It actually felt as though she wanted me to know that it was them that had reported me, not that i doubted it for a minute anyway. The relief right now is enormous. After initially being quite serious she was actually a really lovely down to earth lady. I actually think she knew from the off that i had done nothing wrong and the fact that i offered the information about the relationship shocked her, honesty is the best policy. I am quite suprised that they interviewed me under caution given that the only thing they had was a phonecall, it seemed a bit severe. I worried myself sick for two wks and actually came out of that room laughing! she also told me that for anything like this the worst thing they will do it sanction benefits, it only ever goes to court if the fraud is severe and then it is extremely rare to get a prison sentence! This came about after i had said to her that The Grandparents clearly hadn't thought of the consequences on my children if i had been commiting fraud and was sent to prison. She told me it would never come to that, they don't work that way. I want to thank all you guys on here for your fantastic support this last few weeks, you have kept me calm and sane and a shoulder to cry on! thank you!! To anyone facing a similar situation i would say don't over think it as i did, you know whether or not you've done wrong and being honest is the best way to go, i felt that as i offered the information she could clearly see that i had nothing to hide. I attended the interview alone. I was in there 15 minutes, if that! after sitting with my stomach in my throat while i was cautioned etc was the worst of it. After that it bacame apparent that they didn't even know about the mail and i didn't offer the information as i didn't feel it was relevant given that i had explained the situation. And to be honest, once i told her we'd finished in november i think she'd made her decision. To be fair, she never tried to trip me up, she asked questions and i answered. It was nowhere near as bad as i imagined it would be! So again, thank you to all for your fantastic support. Jadeybags, i know you're going to be fine on Thurs! and to anyone else going through it, panic not! they are not the evil people that you may have been led to believe. they have a job to do and from my experience she did her's fairly! xxxxxx

thank you! will let you know for definate! xxx

Ah no, i feel for you, i really do! Everyone makes mistakes and the fact that you want to put it right speaks volumes. I think speaking to CAB on monday morning and getting their advice is the best thing you can do. I'm sorry i can't advise you any further but good luck and i really hope it all works out for you. xx

Csa have been chasing my ex for four years and as he has continually refused to pay he has been taken to court and given a suspended sentence. About three years ago he did respond to them and only declared he was earning a third of what he actually was, then had the cheek to appeal against the award! grr! anyhow, basic rules for using the csa is to harrass them until they do something, take names of who you speak to as different people will tell you different things. I don't think that its upto you to prove her income, they have the means to do that themselves. My case has been with legal enforcement and "technically stuck" for almost a year. Its ridiculous. I get IS and the rules have changed. under old rules you were allowed £10 a wk and then everything else went to state, they increased this to £20 a couple of years ago and now i think you get every penny. Any arrears being collected will go to pay what is owed to the parent with care before the state sees a penny. I have spoken to some really helpful people and i have spoken to some total idiots. One guy told me "if he doesn't want to pay, we can't make him!" Well, what are they there for then? He hung up! Seriously if you want to see results keep ringing, if you are not happy with what you are told ask to speak to someone in authority. If all else fail the threat of complaint is generally enough to get you the answers you need. x

Soooo true! your life is just not your own anymore, when you sign those benefit forms you sign over your life for all to pick at! x

Thank you for your advice. i will definately be careful not to say more than i need to! I just wish i knew what i was facing before the event as i'm pretty sure its the fact that he's registered my address aganst my wishes with his employers but i can't say what else he may have done, and i know how things can be twisted to make me look guilty. I'm hoping that the fact that he applied for legal aid and had a letter from his landlady at the time to prove his residence will be enough, as well as the crime ref number and the fact that i've been returning post. I hope that they can check this directly with legal aid and that i'm not expected to go to him for proof of his residence elsewhere! xx

Lol! yes i am familiar with the old ebay addiction! doesn't it make you wonder though what bits of your life they're picking their way through and judging you on? Its driving me insane! trip to the doc is pointless as they won't give me anything because i'm pregnant. I have stress issues anyway as my son's autism is hard going and they won't give me anything for that! i want to vreate a little bubble and lock me and the kids in it to be honest! god if i'd know that trusting one man would lead to all this trouble!! And as for the sperm donor's parents who i strongly believe (I KNOW!!!) have reported me, well! i could seriously take some anger out on them believe me! but violence is not the answer so i am going to avoid them for a very long time! xx

Oh i know the feeling well! I'm being accused of the same, am innocent and waiting for an interview under caution! I dont see why you don't get to put your point across as your name is on those forms also, surely for them to be considered, you would have had to sign them also? x

That does make sense! i just wish i could switch my brain off!! its whirling around my head all day, just want it over with now so at least i know what i'm dealing with. Can't focus on anything else! it makes me so mad, how dare they make me feel this way, i appreciate that they're doing their jobs but why make me wait almost two weeks? would not a phonecall to ask have been more appropriate? If they don't except my explanation i will leave until i get a solicitor, and i will definately only answer their questions with the minimal babbling. I say this now, i'll be a wreck on the day lol! these hormones are pants! i cry at adverts lol! I'm sure you'll be fine, even if it does get as far as you getting a solicitor as its their mistake, you offered repayment and now they're just harrasing you! there surely must be better ways of dealing with this sort of thing? how can somebody else's actions, uncontrolable by myself make me guilty, or even suspect of fraud? its absurd! I have a good mind to tell them as much too, providing all goes well and i am right about what they "Think" they have lol! What was i supposed to do? ring them up and say "hi, in the unfortunate instance that someone happens to report me for benefit fraud, thought i should let you know that my loony ex is getting his mail sent to my address as part of his campaign of harrasment!" I had my friends two kids here for a week while she was in hospital with breast cancer and unable to care for them. should i have declared that? it makes you wonder where it all ends, i find myself looking up and down my street everytime i leave my house now incase someone is watching me! not that i have done anything wrong but what a horrible feeling! after this i'll be afraid to bloody sneeze! Fingers crossed that sense prevails for both of us! xxx

its at half eleven. yours? xx

its too bad isn't it, you can't do right for doing wrong no matter how hard you try. Fingers crossed. Let me know how you get on, i'll do the same. Hope it all works out for you xxx