I always carry a block of lard in my pocket when out and about. Should I get my head stuck between railings then I would just need to simply put my hand in my pocket and grease the bars to release me. I'm always prepared.

Hello Why are you having a Xmas knees-up in November? I currently live in Reading as my wife has left me. Are any single ladies going? Or married ones who cheat?

My wife and I had a lovely, happy home but she left me for a young man.

Hello members! Thought I'd share some money saving ideas with you during these lean times. Try them out! 1 Have a 'number two' in work rather than at home. You save on toilet paper and you have the added bonus of getting paid for taking one too. 2 Give your dirty shirts to Oxfam to save on laundry. They will wash and iron them and then you can buy them back for 50p. 3 Stop bread from getting stale and dry by putting it in a bucket of water. Like to share your frugal gems?

Thank you for taking the time to consider my troubles. Unfortunately the local constabulary suggested I write my wife a letter to request my belongs back but she has ignored this. They also said I should seek advice from a lawyer. I don't want to rock the boat but I'm damned if I am going to be treated like a doormat.

Hello members, here's one for you! I have had the same sweeping brush for the last 26 years and it is as good today as when I first bought it. In all that time it has only needed four new poles and three new brush heads. I wonder if any member can beat that!

My wife has left me and taken all my chattels too. To compound my misery, on a night out, I bumped into my wife and her new beau and he was wearing my suit, shoes and tie. What can I do?