Thanks for this. We will mull it over for a day, stand back, let him calm down, then see what to do next. I mean, good lord, if he wanted to report a bully or such like, what a risk this would have put him at. The good thing is he intends to leave soon anyway, just waiting for a new site to open locally. Then when there is a serious incident because workers are off their heads he won't have to worry about it will he? LOL - I told him, he should put the fear of god up the fat controller (sorry boss) and when he hands his notice in he ought to make mention of this and give rumblings about breach of contract, trust and such like. Not to take action necessarily, just to let them think he might! They don't have an inkling that he has this new job, so he could say that this grievance thing was the reason he was leaving.

Hi, my nephew wanted to complain about a serious matter on the building site where he works. I told him to ring up and ask for a copy of the grievance policy (as per our Stu007!), he simply asked for a copy to be posted to him and did not discuss what it was about. We wanted to work out if a grievance was the correct way to go. Even before the document arrived in the post he was approached by several people on the site asking him what his grievance was! He's livid, as it was to do with someone using drugs on site, and he wanted this to be dealt with in confidence to start with. He was really concerned about health and safety, and this person can be quite volatile, hence the need for confidentiality from the off. Now he feels he can't say anything, for fear of retaliation from the person concerned, who is already suspicious that the grievance was going to be about him. I feel now that it matters not what the grievance was about; that's not the point, the issue here surely is trust, confidence and confidentiality. Any thoughts? Would this be grounds for a grievance on its own?

They are to young for an ASBO, they can issue an ABC to their parents, but they are not mandatory and don't have to be signed I got told. Is that really what they said? Useless lot. Scenario - offending child, local police rep, parents (social housing tenants) all attend a meeting at the offices. Police. HO, will say their piece about what has been going on and why it must now stop. Offending child is asked if they wish to sign ABC, on the understanding that if they or their parents object to this agreed behaviour, then there is the Notice of Seeking Possession, all typed and ready to be served. Offenders now have a choice, behave or see their parents under threat of losing their home. Should generally work like magic, so what is their problem? I do hope this is all sorted, what a nightmare for you.

Well, I think they are being pedantic. If it were me I'd let them take me to the County Court if they felt they had a case and let the judge decide who is in the right here.

Well, it was quite stunning to see this. I know now why the twitchers do what they do! I feed the crows and jackdaws every morning with peanuts in the shells, there is always a jackdaw waiting for me as I enter the woods. By the time I've reached the regular place, there's at least a dozen of them all clamouring for their nuts! Tomorrow morning, I'll thank them for their help, but tell them they need to stay round the other side of the park with the swans for the next few weeks! I hope they stay safe, but I think the parents are first timers, and haven't realised they are far too exposed where they are. Lets hope they get to keep them.

This morning out with the dog, I was admiring 4 new cygnets with the parents from a safe distance. All lovely and grey and fluffy still, just pecking about. Bit of an exposed place, but there you go. Then comes Bernard, this buzzard that's taken a liking to me. I could see what he meant to do, he was aiming straight for the cygnets, and I nearly had a panic attack for them. But wait, straight in from either side of Bernard came two huge crows, and they knocked him straight off course, then came a seagull, a massive one, and he also joined in. They chased Bernard well away making a terrible noise about it. All the cygnets were safe and mum and dad were hissing and flapping. So, what is gong on? I know Bernard was going to take at least one of those cygnets, but why would the other birds help to protect them? I wish I had my camera this morning, slate grey sky, two huge white swans and four grey cygnets against it, then Bernard flying in like that, wings spread out with those big circles things on his wings (go on, tell me he's not a buzzard!), and the two massive black crows flying in from either side, with a giant white seagull dead ahead and joining in - what a photo opportunity! Can any bird lovers tell me what is going on here? Cheers!

Resolved. Lee received a letter this morning to say he has been returned to the support group, and the money that they docked they have now reinstated, over £700. No fit this time, he says he's getting quite used to letters like that coming through the door now! So, no appeal thank goodness. I will just let you know what the outcome is over the enhanced disability premium, when they let us know, and then I think that's that. If anyone is in a similar situation and wants to ask anything, please post up and if I can help I will, I'm no DWP expert, but I can at least share with you what we did to get the situation resolved. Thanks to all who posted on here; your tips and advice have been invaluable.

If it helps, I'm in the same boat! Been on a salary replacement since 2010, and entitled to full esa support group contribution based as well, with "pension" deducting the ESA, so I don't get it twice. If I didn't have the ESA, then the "pension" would make it up. My terms with the "pension" are it will stop if i return to work. So, even if ESA said i was fit for work, I would still keep my "pension" as i would get back up from my GP and I would not be working. However, I too cannot just say I don't want the ESA. It doesn't work like that and it makes no difference that my partner works, albeit minimum wage, as I am not income based. I don;t think I ever would be income based either as I am continuing to pay full NI and Tax on a special K code. So, I had to complete the ESA50 recently. I thought surely I'll fail the medical, tell my GP I cannot face the stress of an appeal and just have my upgraded pension? I'm going to break free i thought! But then I get a letter offering me a further 6 months ESA support group without a medical. Bugger. No-one else could have that luck could they?

No,didn;t see that one. generally, I can;t watch sob stories, I'm too much of a softie where animals are concerned. I think it all started when my mother took me to see Ring of Bright Water when I was a little girl - I've been breaking my heart over animals ever since.

Stop it. This thread will turn into Rainbow Bridge next. LOL

Also, whilst on the subject of the rescues, my Taz is a rescue, he was at an "outpost" of the border collie rescue. The lady who held him was due to go on holiday and she told me he was due to be put to sleep as they couldn't find a home for him. So I took him then and there. I was in a flat for the first time, so I should have been suspicious at no home visit, and general approval. Well, its a good job it was me who saw him first and fell in love with him because I've never known a dog be so much trouble - beating up other dogs and so on. It took a long time and lots of patience to get him to turn the corner, but we got there. My point is - how irresponsible of the rescue - what if he had been set home with children, when he was a biter? And they needn't tell me they didn;t know either, he was in a rescue with many other collies, and was the only one made to live in the kennel area - alone. All of his problems were related to other dogs. They knew. I didn't complain - I felt lucky to have Taz, and no way would I have "sent him back". Just goes to show you though, outposts of the big rescues can and do operate differently according to who is running the local show. .

Yep Daniella, when the man at the pet shop suggested I returned the parrot's corpse in a box as if it were of no consequence I went mental! You're right, it will have been that throw away remark about "returning it" that caused poor Sadcafe to flip.

Oh never fret about me, I always seem to come up smelling of roses. I'm fine with bits of paper and the odd phone call, its just people I'm not overly keen on. Anyway, my issues, PTSD, are very minor compared to the very real risks Lee was facing if he didn't have our help and if we hadn't got this sorted out for him. Whenever I find things are a bit too much for me, I take time out, walk away from it, then come back to it with a fresh eye the next day. But do you know what Nystagmite? You are the only person who has showed a concern for me in all this and with the others that I have helped! So thank you XX

Well, Cats Protection League, I support your work, and although its been 7 years since I had a cat, at one time I had six all at once from you, all fine and dandy. The only reason I haven't approached you again is I believe my border collie would kill a cat. However, you surely realise how heart broken Sadcafe is, and this is why she sounded off at your staff - suggesting she returned what was now a much loved pet who needed her, as if it was something that could be exchanged like a frock from M & S. It don't work like that with people who truly care about animal welfare. I had a parrot from a pet shop some years ago, I was lied to, it broke my heart when the disease ridden parrot died on me. You can bet your bottom dollar I went into that shop, gave them a mouthful and used language I am ashamed of even today. Because I was hurting. I took legal action and I won, not that it made me feel any better about it all. The petshop deserved legal action as it turned out. Never bought a pet again, always adopted. Of course it is bad that your staff were verbally abused, it was wrong that I did it to the pet shop staff. I'm sure they have got over it. Sadcafe continues to hurt. Has anyone said "we are so sorry that you are hurting over Ebony's loss?". She genuinely thinks you don't understand how she is feeling. This is making her frustrated and that combined with the hurt is making her hit out at you. Its not difficult really is it? Anyway lets hope its out of her system and she is starting to get over it all. That's what's really important here. After all, she's obviously a very kind soul, otherwise you would have had Ebony back with you wouldn't you? During my working life it was also very wrong of my tenants to rear up on me, threaten me, swear at me, and in some cases attempt to manhandle me. And in 99% of cases it was because they were hurting in someway and hitting out. I had to understand that in my line of work, dealing with people and very emotive issues, so you have to understand it as well. Don't make it right, but it happens. To my mind, it would have been simply resolved by a meaningful apology for the whole situation, regardless of who made what errors, an acceptance that what was said on the phone was an emotional reaction to the situation, an acceptance of how hurt this lady was, and perhaps, when poor Sadcafe had enough time to feel more like herself, the offer of a couple of your kittens, in prime health. Thats how I see it anyway but nothing could ever be that simple could it?

Yeah, but Lee does struggle with these things, and he has been bombarded with letters - he says he feels like standing by the letterbox and pushing it all back out again! And with all this money keep going in, and the letters arriving after the event, that don't help. And if he brings it all to me on a day when I have a head like a box of frogs, it makes me feel like keeling over! But we are bobbing along nicely with everything one step at a time. Well, it'll all become clear in the long run I expect! By the way I picked up a shiny penny on the pavement today so hopefully that'll counteract the smashed mirror.

Stranger and stranger - Lee checked his bank account last night and it appears (but lets calm down now, I smashed a mirror last night, our luck could be about to run out!) that two weeks ESA at full support group rate have been paid in. No letters. He's going to get a paper statement today as he can;t see who the payments are from on his mini-banking, just the amounts. LOL - the stupid thing is he is too afraid of DWP to ring them up, and me who should know better, can't do it either! So we all have to wait in suspense until something comes through Lee's letterbox. A few thoughts - it is dreadful that anyone should actually be afraid to contact DWP, I hope they are thoroughly proud of themselves as I'm sure Lee is not the only one actually now frightened of them. This paperwork, these letters, do they use crystal clear English? They are confusing me, so how on earth is someone a little less bright (not being rude) supposed to cope? Considering all the support services and legal aid that has been pulled? I think I'm going to write to our MP on Lee's behalf to highlight what he has been put through. Although its Robert Syms so i doubt he'll know what we are talking about, but we'll give it a go anyway. Will keep you posted, very worried about that mirror!

Incontinence is ignored is it? Ok, well roll on appeal then, see if they ignore it when its in their face. There is every possibility Lee will have a series of little fits at all the stress of this on the day. Thank you all for your help, and we'll keep you updated at each stage of the humiliation process.

Ah well now, the water rates. Since Lee has now become solvent again, he's decided to just let it be and pay it. But we are going to have a meter installed shortly as we know this will cut down the bill a bit more. The change in Lee is amazing since he got this DLA - he says i can tell you - he gets fits if he is depressed, but he can get them if he is over excited, a major problem as a child! When he got the letter to say he had been awarded DLA and had been back paid he had a fit and went over backwards, cut his head open on the table, and had to have 6 stitches. I told him, thats one stitch for every week of back pay you got, there's a price to pay for everything in this life! So, just the appeal now. You'd think, wouldn;t you, since it is the ESA side that has to pay the severe disablement thing, that they would see that he cannot work and stop all this nonsense, or is that too simple?

LOL - I thought there would be a hurdle - no we don't get carer's allowance, didn;t really understand who got it, was just looking into it. So we'll leave him with his SDP if he is successful, and an ESA appeal! And DLA. Its all a**e about bluetit if you ask me - ATOS cured him, and cut his money, but DLA say he is seriously at risk and throw shed loads of money at him.

Letter from Tribunal Service to confirm whether he wants to go ahead with his appeal, yes of course he does, reply going back recorded today. LOL at the same time I am posting back the form for the severe disablement premium he has been invited to apply for! Looking into carers allowance now, don't know much about that, but if there's a way I shall find it! I am absolutely determined that Lee will win his appeal. I'll show that idiot IDS and his cronies! Don't get mad - get even - every time. I'll keep the thread updated.

I get ESA Support group for PTSD. I understand everything you are saying, and actually, you are ringing all the alarm bells for PTSD. Lets see - after the event or chain of events which set you off, I expect you were depressed as hell, but angry too. That's caused the reactive depressive part of the illness, and if this isn't spotted quickly and treated we then move on to full blown PTSD. Which wasn't spotted with me, and I am stuck with the condition now. Have you had a diagnosis? This is what needs to happen (did happen in my case hence I get the appropriate treatment). It is your Community Mental Health Team that need to see you. They should then arrange for you to be seen by a high intensity practitioner, firstly a psychiatrist. (Find out which GP at your surgery has interest in mental health and book an appt to see them, they are the key to the mental health services). Once you get on the right meds, and start very intensive CBT (you WILL HAVE to talk about what has happened no two ways about it) you'll find things get a lot better. They teach you how to control the condition, rather than it controlling you. You made mention of Regulation 29 (and 35?) I believe these are the exemption from medical rules. I think they should apply, and in fact I am just about to go through the mill myself, having just sent off the dreaded ESA 50. My practitioner has warned them that I should be exempt because of the possibility of violence if I am pushed by them. They have been warned - it is thier choiuce if they choose to ignore this advice. You mentioned anger. I understand that all too well, all part and parcel of it, nothing you can do about it when you off on one. You need to get that CBT to teach you how to control this, because it will only end up getting you into trouble, as I can say from experience! Post up any questions you want to ask me, I don't care what it is, all dignity goes out the window in cases like this don't it! Anyway, quite often I amuse people on here, so lets see if we can at least get a smile out of you some time today! You gotta learn to laugh at yourself when you find yourself in a state like this. Out for a while but back later this evening.

A very quick update - we were unable to get the DM to overturn the decision that Lee is fit for work so that is going to full tribunal and i am working on it now. I applied for DLA for him, and sent the form of registered post so it arrived by 23-4-2013. They sent him a letter yesterday, DLA granted at high rate care and low rate mobility until May 2015. Back dated 6 weeks. Now we can carry on and get a landline installed and lifeline. So, IDS, Lee is now on more money than he was before you cut his ESA, and I haven't finished yet, because we will win the trubunal and that will cost you even more. Take heart chaps, don't give up, get even.

And good god Honeybee if I even mentioned social worker to my mother she'd be at the front door with a shot gun ready to pick them off one by one! No, they'll be no help to her as she will not allow them to be. She nursed in this order throughout her life - elderly aunt in flat downstairs, her own mother who lived with us, then dad who developed gawd knows what in his 40's, then the elderly uncle from downstairs! All died peacefully at home as she refused to let them be taken away into care. She calls social services the troublemakers!

Thanks chaps.. Yes, if ever we have something like this again I will call 999 - can be very difficult when you have an "old school" mother pleading for the ambulance not to be called because of the neighbours and what they might think. Mum has been in hospital once in 73 years - to have me! The very idea of being shoved into an ambulance and whisked away on a blue light caused her even more distress. I popped into our surgery yesterday (GP) to collect some prescriptions and the receptionist told me that mum's GP was arranging to visit mum in hospital (I don;t know if this is the norm) as she was very concerned about what has gone wrong here. It was a clinic at the hospital that mum was advised to go to if she was no better, and it was this clinic that made her believe she had no right to go there until she had seen her GP again on the Monday, so any complaint is going to be to the NHS Trust and not our GP who is the bees knees of GP's and we are lucky to have her. I think we will fire off a complaint letter and go through the process slowly, SAR for notes etc and see what comes back.

Mum is 73, recently bereaved, a little under the weather. but was hanging on in there. Until Thursday, 18th April. She woke up with a sore throat. Friday morning - woke up and couldn't swallow without pain, talk, breathe properly etc, and her neck and head were swollen. No messing about Gp called, did a home visit, diagnosed a quincy throat and prescribed erythimicin (spelt wrong, never mind). Told mum if no better by Saturday she was to contact the clinic that would be open at the general hospital, and they would have her in to drain the quincy. Sat morning, mum now being violently sick, making everything worse, now looking like the honey monster. Only bright red, not yellow. We rang the hospital, they told her just to try and cope until she could go back to the GP on Monday. Sat afternoon mum slept, in the evening rang hospital again, much worse now. Same advice, see GP on Monday. Sun morning and I think mum was dying. On the phone to the clinic and informed them we were on our way in. Shortly after arrival she was admitted. Put on women's surgical ward. (No problems whatsoever with care she has received whilst in the hospital - we must have a gem in our general). Monday and Tuesday were spent trying to cope with the infection with antibiotics, (not the first one as we now know she was allergic to that one) which didn't work. Finally, at about 11pm on the Tues she gets emergency surgery, to remove tonsils through throat, to get at quincy and drain it. And I mean cut her throat open to deal with this- very nasty and apparently a life threatening operation. We were warned she was dangerously ill, and this was serious. Had the op, got through it, and has been on Critical Care Unit ever since. She's still very ill, but slowly slowly turning the corner. Now she can actually speak again, mum is feeling very disgruntled at being told "to cope" by the hospital when she rang for help. Three times they told her this, even though they were told how bad she was. My poor old mum was just getting used to being on her own, doing her shopping, going out and about, doing her garden and now she is lying in a hospital bed on the CCUu, and is likely to be in for a long time, and then will need to be rehabbed. And will now likely struggle in her own home. Then lets look at the cost of all this! How do we go about making a complaint? And actually chaps, is this level of treatment the norm now, do you think we should be complaining about this? Would be interested to hear your thoughts.