New Boyfriend wants to remortgage and add name to Deed

[Ethel Street]

Great advice as always from BankFodder, the drawdown for home improvements and the splitting of the equity/ownership are unrelated issues.

 

The drawdown doesn't require him to take a 50% stake in your house, especially as you say "he is bringing no money to the table". If it helps to explain your position think of it as protecting your daughters' interests.

 

This isn't an Agony Aunt page and I have no great qualifications to be an Agony Aunt, but I must say your comment "...the odd argument but things are relatively ok..."

 

doesn't sound to me the strongest basis for marriage to someone you've only known 6 months.

 

If I were contemplating marriage I would be looking to feel something more than just "relatively OK".

 

Do talk to friends you really trust who will be honest with you.

[Ethel Street]

I ought to say that he has also demanded access to my bank accounts - login details etc and has taken my credit cards from me.

 

First, and DO THIS IMMEDIATELY, change all online passwords to your bank accounts. Call your bank/credit card company and get all the cards cancelled. You don't have to explain everything, just tell them you have lost them. If you don't do this right now he is going to steal all your money.

 

Come back here and confirm you have done this please.

 

Right now you have lost control of your life in an abusive relationship and this is the first step to getting it back.

 

If it results in threats from him - and I'm afraid it might - do not hesitate to call the police.

[Ethel Street]

Second, Call the National Domestic Violence helpline 0808 200 0247

 

http://www.nationaldomesticviolencehelpline.org.uk/if-you-are-a-woman-experiencing-domestic-violence.aspx

 

People here will be happy to offer help but this is primarily a website for consumer/financial/legal problems. Your situation is that you are a victim of domestic abuse. Your financial problems are just examples of the abuse you are suffering, they aren't the root cause of it. You need help from trained domestic violence counsellors. That's beyond what we can help with here. If you doubt you are a victim of domestic violence, coercive control, read this please.

 

https://www.womensaid.org.uk/information-support/what-is-domestic-abuse/

 

https://www.womensaid.org.uk/information-support/what-is-domestic-abuse/financial-abuse/

 

Good luck.