CSA - Slightly complex question

[Neutral]

In 1996 I received several letters from the CSA to calculate what I should be paying for my Son, I completed all the forms, attached wage slips ect and waited for a response/verdict. (I was 20 then and my Son was 4)

 

At the time I was seeing my Son twice a week even though I was living in London and he lived in Whitley Bay (North of Newcastle if you are not familiar with it's location) with his mother & her parents, this arrangement was put in place through the courts which I funded at the ripe old age of 18 (my father & Grandmother died when I was 17 and I had a few ￡1000 in inheritance - well at least I did until the legal bills came in!) - anyway despite the court order my Ex Girlfriend stopped turning up at the arranged meeting place despite my 9Hr over night coach journeys (I lived in Whitley Bay too up to the age of 19 when I had to try and make something of my life as I could see it going dow the toilet just like many of my friends did, hence the move to London)

 

After several failed attempts of trying to see my Son I was told by her father (a total nut job and the reason why we split up) that she had moved away from Whitley Bay and was living in Nottingham, he then proceeded to slam the door in my face and refused to open it again.

 

1 week later I get a letter from the CSA saying that they have been requested to drop the pursuit of money and that their involvement in the matter was concluded.

 

Fast forward to 2011 and I have now found my Son on Facebook and oddly enough this week an old School friend of mine tagged me and my Son in a picture! (from his Christening).

At this point I have not contacted him but I will be sending him a message soon (once I have worked out what the hell I am going to say!).

 

So, on to my question.

Can I be asked for back dated CSA payments despite the CSA saying they did not want any money?

My Son is working and is living with his Mother and her Husband. It also appears that she has two young daughters with him too.

(To be clear I have not had any requests ect, this is more of a what if question)

 

I want to be able to provide something for my Son (University education is one option as I believe he wanted to go to Uni but could not afford it - He was 18 last December).

 

I am thankfully in a good job with a great wife and baby due in 6 weeks but I really want to see my Son but want to be prepared for the issues that contact may bring (financial or otherwise).

 

 

I have also subsequently found out that my Ex's farther was indeed a nut job and hung himself in his greenhouse, the person that found him was my Son aged 8 at the time.

I always knew he was super controlling of his daughters but one of them had a full on mental breakdown and was admitted into a mental hospital, through the therapy sessions it emerged that the father was sexually involved with at least one of the daughters, he hung himself as this was revealed and police procedures started.

 

My Ex's mother is a very bitter woman too and it would not surprise me for one second if she goaded her daughter into trying to get money out of me.

 

One other question, is there a maximum annual amount that the CSA can claim?

 

Any advice would really be appreciated.

 

Thanks

[Neutral]

Oh, one other point is that my Ex changed my Son's Surname and I knew nothing about it!

He had my Surname and I was listed as the father on the Birth Certificate, at some point (I don't know when exactly but apparently was not long after she 'moved') she changed it to her Surname. How did she manage this?

Should I not of been contacted by the place that does such things?

[Neutral]

Hi, if no one knows can anyone point me to another site that may be able to help?

Tried calling the CSA but got no where.

[Serendipity abt £]

Edited

[Honesthombre]

I hope you contacted him regardless of how much cash you might have to part with .

[afcwben]

I cannot see how they can ask for money it will only occur if the ex tries to but it would be hard to see this one stick as he is now over 19

[Janie1962]

When my OH's ex tried to claim backpayments for their child (after his ex had closed the claim herself), she was told no chance - payments can only start from when the claim was initiated. If your son in 18 and not in full-time non-advanced education, then I don't think the CSA will become involved.

 

Hope this helps a bit!

 

PS - So sorry for what your son has had to go through.......hope he's OK

[jdes26]

If your son is 18 then that's it game over

I suspect if your son has had his name changed then legally your ex oh took responsibility meaning financially your not liable

anyway the main thing is your son back in your life

good luck

 

jdes

[Neutral]

Brief update...

 

We have finally made contact and if all goes to plan I will be seeing my son and his girlfriend for the first time since 1998 on Saturday!

 

I suppose the next step will be down to how things go on Saturday. I just need to be cautious of how I explain the reasons for me being missing from his life for such a long time which is fundamentally due to his grandparents and mother – people who he assumingly has a very close relationship with.

 

I really don’t want to cause any issues between my son and his existing family as they seem to have done a respectable job of raising him. On theflipside I also need him to know the truth.

 

As things stand at the moment, his mother does not know about his planned visit to London but when she eventually finds out I'm expecting some kind of grief coming my way.

 

Regarding the CSA part, I do hope that the information above is correct as I do have a savings account for my Son and I want to do anything I can for him now that I have the chance to be part of his life again (as does his grandmother). What I don’t want to happen is for me to have a spiteful legal battle on my hands with his mother if she decides she wants to try and get some money out of me even though she prevented me from being part of my sons life(even if the actual denial actions were done by her father).

 

 

 

On a more personal front, I now have two children with my wife (girl aged 2 and a son aged 9 months).

My wife is being very supportive of the impending changes in our life but I did give her a chance to bail on me on our 3rd date when I let her know about my missing son! We both knew this day would come sometime, it’s just ashame it has not happened before now.

[jadeybags]

I think you're pretty safe where finances are concerned. But I would LOVE to know how you got on meeting up! My childrens dad (we have been split 11 yrs now) had children when we got together, the boys are in their 20's now & it was a similar story, distance, her family etc. And he has the boys on facebook now, but hasn't met them yet. It would be nice for my 2 to meet them as they are half siblings! My 2 are 18 & 16 now.

Anyway, would love to know how you got on if you ever come back to this thread.

[*Thumper]

Case concluded, so no payments to make

 

If mum, makes a new claim, it will be backdated to the date of the new claim only

 

Good luck fella !!