My mother post stroke

[queenjayne]

I'm starting this thread though my original comment was elsewhere. I mentioned that my mother had a severe stroke two weeks ago and was coming up for assessment very soon at the hospital where she currently is.

 

BANKOFF WROTE:

 

QUOTE:

From my own experience, it may take some time for them to rehabilitate your mother, so you don't have to worry just yet.

 

It will depend on your circumstances, there are a lot of angles on this. How well your mother does with the rehabilitation etc.

 

When they get to the point where they are asking you to find her somewhere to go, then be prepared to give them the run around. Don't agree to anything until you know what the implications are.

 

The are full of sh***t about rehabilitating and sending people home to cope, with their "so called" help with personal care at home.

 

They expected 1 person to put my mother to bed in 15 minutes, well if you have any experience of Dementia then you know that that is not achievable.

 

Good luck

UNQUOTE

[queenjayne]

I was wrong; it was three weeks ago, not two. I lose track, partly because I became ill around a week later myself, with something akin to 'flu.

 

It was a shock, as a stroke always is I suppose. In this case, I became alarmed that my mum wasn't answering the phone. As I live nearly an hour's drive away, I phoned 999 before jumping in the car myself. When I got there, they had broken in and found her on the floor. We estimate that she must have been there two days and one night. She arrived at hospital with a temperature of just 32 (severe hypothermia) and serious dehydration. Being over 80, she wasn't expected to survive.

 

One of the questions I was asked was: does she own her own home? Strange, now I think about it.

 

These events are partly what led to my finding this site as I have been trying to prevent excessive overdue fees mounting up on her accounts.

 

My mother is now still in the acute stroke assessment ward. The consultant in charge will not be drawn on the prognosis except to say that she may well be able to go home with an extensive care package but it's too early to tell.

 

Her going home does not seem a truly viable option to me, nor to friends who visit and happen to be doctors themselves. After three weeks, she has reached a mental level where she does not appear to recognise anyone. She thinks various nurses are me. She thinks all sorts of people are regularly visiting her. She doesn't seem to know she's in hospital but accepts the help of the nurses. She hallucinates most of the time. She has lost a large portion of her vocabulary. She has daily physiotherapy but is bedridden, and it still takes two nurses just to help her sit up enough to eat.

 

They have indeed said that rehabilitation, after finishing her current assessment phase, will take up to 7 weeks. But with such severe cognitive impairment, a patient can't benefit much from rehabilitation because she can't remember what they are teaching her.

 

If the NHS do pick up the whole bill for her nursing/care home, they would take over her pension and leave a little pocket money for her. This means there would be no money to pay utility bills or maintainance on her house so it will have to be sold in any event.

 

Does anyone know how to start the ball rolling for getting power of attorney? Any way of limiting solicitors' and courts' fees? There is no EPA in place and I've heard that this makes the whole thing very expensive. Any advice gratefully received.

[BankFodder]

Is your mother still lucid? There could be difficulties anout her capacity to sign. However, you need to hurry and you are looking for an "enduring power of attorney". Try Google but here is a link which appears to have a form which you can buy.

You might find that in a good stationers you could by a form as well

 

http://www.clickdocs.co.uk/enduring-power-of-attorney.htm

[Seminole]

Have a look at some of the leaflets at http://www.guardianship.gov.uk/formsdocuments/publications.htm

[bankoff]

I had to do this, but it was some time ago now, you need to read the booklet thoroughly, then you need to get someone who knows you and your mother very well to sign the POA form for you.

 

I expect that all the forms can be obtained from the internet now.

 

It may cost £250 to register it, but think this can be wiaved if you are in any financial hardship.

 

If you don't do it, Social Services will.

[queenjayne]

Bankfodder, I already have links to free EPA forms - enduring power of attorney, through the guardianship.gov site.

 

I had been trying to get my mum to move into sheltered accommodation nearer me for past year. She was not interested and when, a few months ago, she started having periods of delusion and confusion, I started looking into the EPA route, fearing that her mental state might worsen. She was also getting more frail and careless - not noticing that the house was filling with gas when a burner on the hob went out, for instance, and eating food way past its sell-by date.

 

A consultant psychiatrist friend (friend of my mum's, more than me) assured me that this could not be Alzheimer's disease, by the way, as you just do not get to the final stages (paranoid delusions and hallucinations) without going through increasing forgetfullness, etc. My mother was still lucid enough to, for example, arrange and pay for a taxi to take her to a friend's house in another town, be ready at the agreed time, give the driver the correct address, etc. She was still capable of withdrawing the right amount of cash each week to pay the milkman and the gardener, and go food shopping.

 

However, I presumed (wrongly, I now realise) that it was too late to get her to sign an EPA, even if she would agree, because she was already no longer of sound mind. Note to anyone for future cases: The Mental Health Act states that all adults are capable of making decisions about their lives, even when mentally handicapped or suffering dementia, unless expressly diagnosed as unfit to do so.

 

So, even though my mother was seeing hordes of visitors being led through her bedroom at night by tour guides who then took them through a hole in the wall to visit the Roman ruins just discovered under her house, and pixies dancing along the sofa while I was sitting there talking to her, - even though she was complaining about my boyfriend wandering around her house naked - she could still have been considered to be of sufficiently sound mind.

 

In fact, the consultant at the hospital now says I still shouldn't rule it out.

 

However: an EPA needs to be registered with the Court of Protection at such time as the attorney (me) has reasonable evidence that the donor (Mum) is no longer able to manage her affairs. If an EPA is signed by the donor and then registered immediately, isn't that a bit suspicious? I mean, if she's no longer able to manage her affairs, then she was also not qualified to sign the EPA. She can't really hold a pen at the moment, either.

 

I suppose it's still worth trying.

 

About cost: websites tell me that it costs around £500 to register an EPA, plus around £300 for something else (I forget at this moment what), plus another couple of hundred a year after that. This is usually paid out of the donor's estate. Everywhere I look, it says that having to get a POA (when no EPA is in place) is much more expensive.

Bankoff, you say that it costs around £250 to register a POA. I have had no luck finding out about the procedures for this, could you enlighten me with a link or two, or where to find leaflets?

[bankoff]

Hi

 

My mother was seeing things, etc like yours, but she also had some very lucid moments when she knew exactly who she was and what was happening, and it is during one of these we pursuaded her to sign the form.

 

However, I had already been looking after her affairs, ie paying all her bills (she used to forget) and getting rid of the Readers Digest and their contiuous "you have won a fortune" etc, various book-clubs, nuisance through the post etc etc.

 

I got the POA signed in 2001 and eventually registered it in 2005. I really don't think it will matter too much if you register it right away.

 

The Forms you require are EP2 (Enduring Power of Attorney) and EP1 which is a form of notice which you must serve on any other siblings (your brothers or sisters) informing them of your intention to Register the POA. I did not use a solicitor there is no need.

 

The fee in 2005 was £250, but as I have already said, they may waive it or it could be cheaper depending on your circumstances.

 

The contact number the EPA Helpline is 0845 330 2963, I found them very helpful when I had any questions about filling out the form, or getting the forms and booklets sent to you.

 

The forms and booklets are very difficult to download, they take ages and sometime they jam up the computer. I have a pretty powerful machine with broadband and I still have difficulty doing this.

 

Their email address is custserv@guardianship.gov.uk

[Seminole]

I am currently reading the National Audit Office report on the Public Guardianship Office (don't ask why) and it says that the registration fee for the EPA is £120. Apparently it came down on 1 April 2005.

[bankoff]

Right, I'm on the phone now asking for a refund!

[queenjayne]

Wow, thanks all!

 

Bankoff, I'm sorry. I thought you were talking about a Power of Attorney as something distinct from an Enduring Power of Attorney; that's what I was asking you about: the POA that is necessary if there is no EPA in place.

 

I can find lots of info on the procedures for an EPA but precious little about a POA.

 

Good to know that the fees have come down.

[bankoff]

Queenjayne

 

Sorry I could not help you, I was ready for all this at the time when mother became worse.

 

Have telephoned the Guardianship Office, they were quite polite, but when you send in the form you pay the money, never mind when it gets registered.

 

I have of course complained to their customer services team. Sent the letter just now via the net.

[mechs]

Hi

The Forms you require are EP2 (Enduring Power of Attorney) and EP1 which is a form of notice which you must serve on any other siblings (your brothers or sisters) informing them of your intention to Register the POA. I did not use a solicitor there is no need.

 

My Sister made herself power of attorney to my mother although she told me verbally that she was going to do it she never gave me any form EP1, my mother was living with me and she was living in her marital home nearby

What are the implications here does anyone know? my mother btw died two years ago

[bankoff]

Hi mechs

 

Unless you have some reason to object to anything financial that your sister has done, I am wondering why you ask.

 

Should there be a problem you can contact the Public Guardianship Office

 

at Archway Tower, 2 Junction Road, London N19 5SZ

 

or go to http://www.guardianship.gov.uk

[mechs]

Hi Bank,

We have had a major row and just enquiring really as to the legal side of things, as it was a we are going to do this attitude,

 

And sorry mods I know I should have started my own thread lol

[Yyates2]

My father had a stroke in November of last year, he's 75. He is due to come out of hospital some time next month. In the beginning he was starting a sentence in English and then speaking the rest in Spanish and no one could understand him. that took about 5 weeks to sort it self out. Also his temperature control had gone AWOL so he was feeling mad hot when he was cold added to that he caught a bad chest infection through being on-the floor for 12 hours. His stroke paralysed him down his left side, couldn't walk at all or do anything with his left arm. After intensive physio and help for the OT's and speech therapy he can now talk fine, he still slurs his words a bit but is understandable, he is walking with the aid of a delta which is similar to a frame with wheels, he has also been given an electric wheelchair. As for his left arm its still not doing anything but the arm is always the last part of the body to kick in. It's still early days for my farther as the brain carries on healing after a stroke for up to 5 years. If it is only 3 weeks since your mother had her stoke, forgive me if i have the time wrong, then there is still time for some kind of improvement, stroke units don't write people off they try as hard as they can to get them back to as near normal life as possible. allot of the questins about owning your own home are so they can help your mother with helping aids in the home such as stair lifts and special beds if needed but also so they can sort out the correct benefits for her.

[Columbia]

I don't know if you've got all the information you need yet, but Age Concern do some really good factsheets about financial affairs, and they are written in plain English. They cover all the issues that affect older people and can be posted to you or you can download them from here.

[queenjayne]

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