I am 'not' failing my family

[emmaf01]

Have you got a full list of the charges or do you need to get a SAR to find out the full amount?

 

Sorry everything has been so stressful for you. Did you sort out something with the bailiffs? I think the doctors is a good idea if your sleep is being affected.

 

You are a strong case for financial hardship- can you also see the local council welfare rights adviser to see if you are entitled to anymore money to help you get by?

[joemay]

Hi Milly,

Good to see you are taking control, it's not admiting defeat.

 

I have had problems with Natwest 2 o/d in excess of £20k. Welfare rights advise had contacted them over several months and natwest never acknowledged any of the letters. IMO they probably either binned the letters or just filed them.

 

I think you should SAR them, that way you'll see if they have just ignored your requests for help, and that could be useful for you further down the line. Also you will be able to identify all the charges for your reclaim. This bank makes me sick there big advertising campaign "Helpful Banking" is a loud of old tosh.

 

Remember o/d are not a priority debt. You need to deal with your priority debts first. If you haven't already, contact CAB/Welfare rights advisory service who will be able advise and assist you, writing letters to your creditors etc.

 

I'm sure there will be other people along soon to assist you dealing with your debt and reclaiming charges.

 

Take care:)

[angel_1]

hey milly

 

nice to see you back, i agree see your doc and get some help pls, it will help i promise you,

 

also i know others have said get info from cab, etc ,,i personally found the link in my signature helpeful and also nationaldebtline site - i think its a personal choice what you feel comfortable with

 

but remember you have identified what you must try and achieve, the first steps are being taken, just little steps and we will all try and guide you

 

what about getting a folder and writing on a piece of paper everything that is worrying you, you feel you need to achieve, what you feel you need to do to get to the next stage, where you want to be in 3, 6, 9 months and 1 years time, goals will invigorate you

 

anyway its kind of helping me focus of what i have to do today, tomorrow and next week, if that makes sense

 

just my mad ramblings, but hey the meds sure help me in "the method of my madness" of doing things,,,a lot more people are stressed nowadays, the thing that life throws at you wont faze a kindly doctor

 

shout if you need any other help or have other questions

 

have a sunny day laters angel x

[marie6666red]

hi milly how old is your little girl.......i have a grandaughter aged two whith a ridiculous amount of un needed clothes.

[millystar]

Hi guys,

chickened out with the doctors - just can't face telling them that I need medical help because I can't pay my bills - seems stupid when I say it out loud.

I have two banks, one personal and one 'joint' I've set the balls in motion asking for a full refund in my personal account of all charges that have been taken out of my child benefits etc. I have set up a parachute bank account with co-op. Luckily I've been with them since I was 8 so they seem to look after me. Once I've got my money refunded I'm going to pay everything into my co-op account and shut down my natwest account. then i'm going to start claiming the charges in the joint account back.

with the outstanding council tax I think i've got it sorted - i've paid the baliffs off in full and have sent a council to the letter asking them how much i now owe and how i could pay it off - and also asking for the forms for council tax/housing benefits.

with regards to my overpaid wages, the woman dealing with it is completely ignoring my attempts to contact her so I can't really do much else about it.

In the meantime our wonderful daughter is coming on leaps and bounds, she's just had a massive growth spurt and we're trying to potty train her (saves on nappies, cos they're so expensive!!)

Thanks for keeping us strong guys xx

[caro]

Good positives moves millystar. Well done.

[miss trollope]

Milly well done for not going to the doctor, I went last year and got some ADs, luckily a friend of mine who had been addicted to them for many years gave me short shrift and I stopped taking them before I got hooked. I got 5HTP from the health shop and it helps your body produce seratonin naturally (I suffer from SAD too) rather than prozac and the like which give it to you artificially so when you stop taking them your body isn't producing it any more.

 

I know how you feel about the family I feel so guilty about not giving my kids stuff, I even had to default on the mortgage this month so they could go on trips and have music lessons. But whatever happens they come first and as another poster said freecycle is wonderful, you get and give loads of great stuff on there.

 

I love this forum and it is great the help that people give and I hope to be able to give some back. I did the same as you with my banks, it's the only way - don't be bullied by them, they can't do anything anyway if you stick up for yourself.

 

xxxxx

[Tawnyowl]

Supporting and thinking of you Millystar.Whatever help you need you will find here.I have had tremendous help here.Be strong.Youre amongst friends.

[millystar]

I'm sorry to revisit this, but I could really do with your support.

 

My boiler's broken, I've got bailiffs round for unpaid debts, every day brings a new threat and I can no longer answer the phone for fear of "YOU OWE US MONEY." I don't have a landline and I'm typing now on a dongle internet, which hasn't been paid and is due to be cut off any day now.

 

I haven't been able to find a job since graduating uni in July and am sick of attending three interviews per job application to be told i'm over qualified or don't have enough experience.

 

I'm seriously considering taking my daughter to my mums house tonight and just walking away. I love her too much to be in this situation any more. She is 4 and knows that we keep quiet if the door knocks because the bad men will take her toys. I feed her and clothe her, and that's all I can afford.

 

My husband is at college and doesn't work. He hasn't worked for 3 years due to depression, and as stupid as it sounds it's made me fall out of love with him.

 

I've go no money, no friends, and no food. I'm tired but can't sleep. I have simply run out.

[Tawnyowl]

I'm sorry to revisit this, but I could really do with your support.

Hi Millystar,support is allways here for you.What a tough time you are going through.

My boiler's broken, I've got bailiffs round for unpaid debts, every day brings a new threat and I can no longer answer the phone for fear of "YOU OWE US MONEY." I don't have a landline and I'm typing now on a dongle internet, which hasn't been paid and is due to be cut off any day now.

I understand the baliff problem is council tax which is being dealt with in the baliff forum.I understand the phone problem.Maybe just say ,i will only deal with you by letter and put the phone down.I know easier said than done.The boiler is broken,what does the owner of the house say about this.

I haven't been able to find a job since graduating uni in July and am sick of attending three interviews per job application to be told i'm over qualified or don't have enough experience.I understand you are starting a job in a couple of weeks so maybe the problems will ease a touch,once you start receiving your wages.I hope so.

 

I'm seriously considering taking my daughter to my mums house tonight and just walking away. I love her too much to be in this situation any more. She is 4 and knows that we keep quiet if the door knocks because the bad men will take her toys. I feed her and clothe her, and that's all I can afford.

Maybe a couple of days at your mums will be best for you all,a haven of peace and quiet and a chance to have a talk with your husband,as it sounds as if these problems have got to him as well.

My husband is at college and doesn't work. He hasn't worked for 3 years due to depression, and as stupid as it sounds it's made me fall out of love with him.Sometimes debt, and depression in someones partner can create these feelings,but once the problems fade the feelings you had before return.I hope so.Have you had any councilling from anyone about depression.Has anyone talked to you about your husbands depression.Maybe my post has not helped you much but i am just showing my support and friendship to all your family in these hard times.

 

I've go no money, no friends, and no food. I'm tired but can't sleep. I have simply run out.

Maybe a check up at the doctors is needed.Have a chat to him or her,maybe in someway they can help you.Best wishes Tawnyowl.

[newstarter]

Hi Milly sorry to hear of your situation Tawnyowl is right you have had and are having a rough time of late,i could go on all night about about how awful your situation is but that isn,t going to sort out your problems and get you out of this mess.I notice your last post was around 20 months ago,you need if possible to stay in touch and be on this thread much more so you can get the help you need from other caggers,theres always people here that can help and give you all the advice you need but its no good if you dont come on line to get it.If your phone contract gets cancelled go to an internet cafe or your local library to get on the forum,ifr there is someone you know that has a laptop or a pc ask if you can use theirs,but above all you need to keep in contact so you can get the support that you clearly need at this time.

 

Right,firstly i think you are looking at the full picture much to often,you need to break this all down into smaller manageable peices,that way the problems dont swallow you up and second,much easier to tackle one debt and one problem at a time .

[newstarter]

The first thing to do is get down to that doctors and tell him you are suffering from depression brought about by various events in your life and not feel foolish or ashamed,this to me is a must because once you have done that you can then build up the strengh to tackle your debts.You must speak to your doctor,you know you have this problem and as i said earlier there,s nothing to be ashamed of,once you have made that first visit you will have started on the road to recovery.You mentioned your partner is also suffering from depression so why not go together to support each other and both of you spill your problems out together to your doctor,at the moment your both drifting apart and thats the last thing you need at this moment,work as a team together,supporting each other,you have already admittede you and your partner have depression problems,talk to each,go to your doctor as a couple and start the road to recovery as a couple,that way you can tackle your debts as a team and support each other.

[newstarter]

As for your debts it would be a good idea to post up (in detail)what outstanding debts you have,

 

debt you have paid

 

debts that you cannot meet at the moment

 

benefits you are getting

 

lets have a good look at that monthly income,and this problem you have with Natwest and outstanding council tax and any other utility bills you may be having problems with.

[newstarter]

P.S many of your problems can be solved by support from caggers and some effort from you and your partner,whatever the case we can and will help.

[millystar]

Here's the thread regarding the Natwest saga

 

I'm currently recieving JSA

 

XX

[millystar]

had several calls today on the home phone from triton. not answered it, but intend to get my SAR off to them this week. Does anyone have a reliable address this can be forwarded to?

 

thank you xx

[citizenB]

Milly, is it Triton or Natwest you are SARing ?