Oh, and normally I get a reply to securely-sent messages from within my online bank account but, on this occasion, I have yet to have any reply whatsoever. Maybe they're chewing this one over. I can but hope, albeit I doubt very much that my email is going to incite an outbreak of morally-responsible behaviour.

Here's a slightly edited copy of the Victor Meldrew-esque email I sent to FD yesterday. I didn't for one minute think they'd acquiesce and pay up, but a bit of humour is good for the soul when facing only a tenner of your disability benefits being left in the account after they've creamed off the rest of it... A tenner for the next two weeks... Is it any wonder we get radicalised by their greed? Anyway, here's the email. Enjoy! Dear Sir or Madam, Unfortunately you’ve had a merry old time of late, once again taking the majority of my disability benefits in extortionate charges for failed direct debits, and payments made to third parties going out late and taking me over the overdraft you’ve allocated to me. This has to stop. I have previously taken you nearly all the way to the county court to get a substantial figure in recovered charges back from you, and was successful in getting the vast majority of monies back when you reached agreement with me at the eleventh hour. I will do it all again if I have to, confident that the current situation with the banks will soon be resolved in favour of the customers and not the banks. I am aware that for the time being new claims against banks are on hold, but that will not prevent me from starting proceedings all over again, as I fully expect to be able to complete those proceedings successfully once the court has delivered its verdict on penalty charges. Furthermore, you are well aware, being a large financial institution of some standing, that the government pays benefits into bank accounts with the intention that those monies go to the people who are lawfully due them, and not to top up the banks’ not inconsiderable funds. I believe there are grounds to argue that the retention of benefits by the bank is unlawful, and that should the bank wish to pursue monies it should do so by other means – a negotiated settlement, perhaps, and most certainly not by creating a situation whereby a disabled person finds the monies paid to them by the DSS are repeatedly snatched away when the purpose in the government providing them is to ensure I have something to eat. Before you try to put to me the now very old argument that this situation is somehow my fault, allow me to explain a basic fact of life which the bank seems willing to ignore in its quest to make money from its lowest-income customers: by taking huge sums of money from people for going into unauthorised overdraft, or for bouncing direct debits, it does nothing to improve the customer’s financial standing and does everything it can to ensure it can continue to cream money off the benefits of the customer on a regular basis, because the bank’s actions ensure such customers remain with little room for financial manoeuvre. Were the bank to charge reasonable costs, which I believe have been estimated by third parties at around a few pounds, things would be very different. But, as with my previous claim against you, you continue to refuse to provide me with any evidence of exactly how and why bouncing a direct debit can incur reasonable charges, relating to administrative expenses, of between £25 and £50, or how going a few pence or pounds beyond an agreed overdraft limit can possibly cost the bank upwards of £15, and more often anything between that and £75. I am writing to you because I want my money back. I am prepared to pay reasonable charges of a few pounds for every time I go into unauthorised overdraft or have a direct debit bounced. I will never be prepared, under any circumstance, to accept you taking my disability benefits as you have done for many, many months now. So, in conclusion, I ask for you to urgently review how the bank treats me as a disabled customer, and ask yourselves how you can possibly argue that it is right, moral and appropriate, to repeatedly take large sums of money from those who need it the most. If the bank is willing to return the monies it has taken from me since the settlement of our last dispute immediately prior to entering the courtroom, I am willing to ensure that some of those monies remain in my account as a buffer against future charges ever being set against me. Or, I am happy to close my account as and when settlement is reached in full. I will then take the money you stole from me and place it elsewhere. I am thinking it might be safer under the mattress until such time as the banks learn to exercise some sense of moral obligation and duty. If the bank decides, however, that it wishes to travel the exact same path as the last time we clashed over this, then I would like you to know right now that it is my determined intention to take you to court once again. I am now fully cogniscent of what will be involved, having done it all before. Please advise on when I can expect to see the charges refunded; otherwise, please send copies of all statements, in printed form, dated from the conclusion of our last settlement, to my home address as soon as possible. This is so that I may begin the process of formally writing to you to ask for the monies to be returned, and, failing your agreement, to start proceedings with the County Court for a second time. I look forward to your response. Yours sincerely, [full name]

I successfully won a large figure settlement last time round: http://www.consumeractiongroup.co.uk/forum/hsbc-fd-hfc-successes/61472-fox-mulder-first-direct.html But since the settlement I've been having my disability benefits regularly raided, for the usual reasons given blah blah blah. And I've had enough, so I've written to the bank a spectacularly sarcastic and (most friends say) very amusing email through its secure messaging system when logged into my account, demanding FD pays up all the money it has taken since our last battle which took us almost to the steps of the courtroom. I've said if FD doesn't pay up, I expect the bank to send me ALL statements since the period covered by our last settlement as I am fully prepared to go through everything a second time. What's more, I'm a bit more confident now. I know new claims aren't being processed by the Courts until the judgement on all bank charges is decided upon, but that's okay - I can wait, so long as there's at least some hope I can win a second time.

I'm opening a new Fox Mulder vs First Direct today. Yep, that's right, it's Round Two - claiming back all the money they've taken from me since this last battle was settled with them paying up!

Keep an eye on developments. You may yet be able to fight the stay, which is very unjust on consumers and already saving the banks huge amounts of money.

They've not only put it in writing but they've paid the money off my balance, which is absolutely fine! I'm going to let the mods know this one is settled...

They've offered to settle at, remarkably, almost the amount I was claiming. Given the uncertainties following the non-consumer-protecting love-in between the government bodies and the banks, meaning many claims won't be heard for over a year, I'm giving serious thought to accepting the settlement offer. I don't want to be waiting a year just to get my case heard in court, more to the point, I can't afford - which is why the new arrangement is so unfair on consumers. The banks, of course, will save millions this year... By comparison, Capital One is monstrous to deal with: rude, unyielding, horrible.

Absolutely! The money has now come through, I've notified the court and am about to notify the CAG mods. Settled! Hurrah!

And the response? These people are beyond nasty - a confirmation that the calls will continue because they are justified in their view, and no increase in the derisory amount offered. I'm filing my claim this week.

Hahaha! I emailed an MS Word document containing my scanned-in acceptance letter, and a PDF, to Rachel Tomlinson, and got this back: I will be out of the office starting 27/07/2007 and will not return until 28/03/2070. I have now left the Bank. Please contact Jason Newbold or Casey Byrne if you require urgent assistance. So I assumed the email format would be the same - fullname@hsbc.com, and sent the attachments to jasonnewbold@hsbc.com and caseybyrne@hsbc.com - so far, no bounce-back, so that's good! But this Tomlinson woman is still listed on the letters from DG, which is just bizarre... especially as her auto-reply suggests she was very glad to leave...

Thanks CM! That's incredibly quick, and incredibly nice of you to reply so fast! I've added to your reputation (the scales thingie) by way of an additional thanks!

Thanks CM! Do you have an email address for them for this purpose, please? I can't find one on their letters...

I got a letter from DG yesterday offering settlement of my claim with eight per cent interest plus court fees. Yay! Also, the form they want me to sign has been changed... It now says if I sign I agree not to further pursue the specific claim after settlement, which covers between two dates, the final one being the date the claim was filed with the court. I can sign that, as it doesn't stop me pursuing any future charges placed against the account since the claim was filed. I won't ask the mods to mark this thread settled until the money is in the bank, but it's good news indeed.

Please if you can let us know how long it takes for the money to get to you. Did you sign one of those horrible 'won't talk won't claim again' contract sheets DG send out with almost every letter? Or sign and cross bits out?

I'm really pleased for you. I hope you winning such a sizeable claim on this basis bodes well for my own claim, which is for much less--and I'm keen to see how DG responds to my last letter switching to claiming 8 per cent after CI was busted wide open. I'm fingers crossed they acquiesce this time as I can't go lower. If they don't accept, there's no more room for haggling--it will be Court bundles and beyond.