Briefly 2006 - property bought with partner 2008 - seperated and I moved out 2009 - she moved out to live with new partner and in moved back in 2010 - i moved out to live with new partner and my ex refused to contribute to mortgage or bills on the now empty property. Property put on market for sale. 2013 - over 2 years of paying the mortgage alone, no sale, no help from mortgage company to reduce mortgage to interest only (refusal by ex to contribute due to several different reasons over time...at one point due to needing to save for her wedding) i and my wife (though predominantly in wifes name) had racked up 25000 in credit cards to support the mortgage. We have 4 children (2 from her ex husband and 2 are ours together). Property we live in at this point is owned by wife and her ex partner and is on interest only deal. 2013 - contact ex again, explaining i have no more means to pay or access to further credit and notify her that im ceasing to pay. She continues not to pay. 2013 - estate agent contact me advisung me the sale is being handled by different company as property has been reposessed! I have no correspondance from mortgage company regards this. 2013 - i seperate from wife due to financial strain this has caused and move in with my parents 2014 - property sold by mortgage company for £40000 less than ourstanding mortgage though im not disputing sale price due to market conditions. Still no contact from ex partner despite requests or mortgage company. I wish to contact mortgage company to ascertain what is now owed and who is to pay what. I have ex partners work address, email and mobile number only. I pay child maintenance to estranged wife, rent to parents, my debts/bills and a payment each month toward the debt that my estranged wife mounted due to supporting me and my ex's property! I have little left to offer above 50 a month which i am willing to pay. I have no idea about my ex partners income, though she has a good job, as does her partner and they have no resident children. He has a child with whom he has some contact and presumably some financial obligation. Where do i stand? I have no assets or savings. I do not want to go bankcrupt. If i make an offer of payment will they also pursue her? What do i need to show them in respect of incomings/outgoings proof? I do not wish my ex to be privvy to my current position or the satisfaction that her lack of responsibility has culminated in the demise of my marriage. What info about me will mortgage company share with her?? Any advice welcome. I need to address this asap. Thank you in advance

Quick update... Received copy of a Court order sent to Claimant dated 9th July giving him a final 7 days from date of service to file/serve his directions/allocation questionnaire. It states that the case will be struck out if order not complied with. To date we have received nothing. Though whether he has filed with Court on time in accordance with the order is yet to be seen. Just waiting. The next thing (hopefully sometime soon!) will either be an order/info on mediation (if he has indeed filed AQ stating he wants to mediate) or order striking out his claim. Cant help but feel riled by this man who causes stress to others by forcing processes that he is then allowed to simply ignore once it doesn't sit well in his favour. I suspect he relied heavily on expectation that we would raise white flag to his heavy hand. On a seperate note, we raised complaint with Ebay some weeks back regards his comments when he left negative feedback. He has stated that he was sold damaged goods, that we have denied they are the wheels sent and has said that a CCJ beckons. We took issue with the mention of a CCJ as it is inflamatory and he has predetermined an outcome that had not yet been judged. Ebay have not replied to us nor asked him to remove or revise the comnents.

We did not file a counterclaim. Ive confirmed via royal mail tracking that he signed for receipt of our Allocation Questionnaire on 24/6 and MCOL have confirmed via telephone today that they have also received ours, but not as yet his. Providing its not just an administrative backlog issue they will send further order guving him further 7-9 days to submit it. If still no response they will then strike out the claim. He may well have decided not to proceed. Though why not notify the Court or us if that I'm not sure. We will just wait now and see.

Well postman been and gone...no copy served on us of Claimant's allocation questionnaire. What now? Do we wait for the Court to take proceed as they see fit and just note it down for reference, or do we notify the Court of this further breach of protocol? Can't seem to find specific guidance. May be best to ring the Court Office next week and see what they say if it's still not received.

Quick update... I received an email response from MCOL regarding not having received separate detailed particulars of claim but unfortunately it was an automated style response that did not address my questions...it advised I file an acknowledgment of service/defence...this had of course already been done. So, I rang them and confirmed with Court staff that there is no separate detailed particulars of claim filed with them and indeed no N215 (certificate of service) from the Claimant to indicate he has served one upon us. I asked what position it places us in and was told that it does not chance matters as I have already filed the defence rather than bringing it up prior to filing. This is fine. I hadn't sought to delay matters, simply wanting confirmation really for our own note should this reach hearing stage that the Claimant has again not complied or adhered to protocol. Our allocation (directions) questionnaire has been completed indicating our willingness to use the Court's Mediation facility. The order received from the Court gave us until 24th June to file this with them and to serve on the Claimant so we decided to send his copy via special delivery so that receipt is traceable. I have also filed a certificate of service with the Court to reflect that. We are yet to receive his copy allocation questionnaire, though he does have until Monday. I did note on the guidance the court sent however that it would be deemed served on the second business day after posting so unless he posted that yesterday he may be in a struggle to adhere to that protocol too...we will see. Interested to see if he is also willing to use the mediation service...though if he does not serve us with the allocation questionnaire I wonder what position that places us in. Will the Court simply send us a copy or would it be reasonable at that stage to make an application for the Court to stay or strike out the claim based on his continual refusal to follow protocol...before court and indeed now with the civil procedure rules. Not sure...just thinking out loud really...in the meantime all we can do is follow procedures, continue to document everything and remain patient.

I have email MCOL helpdesk today noting the fact that seperate particulars of claim have not been received and asking for guidance on what position this places us in. I have also received the allocation questionaire today. We must now decide whether to agree to mediation...Im inclined to say yes here, not least to demonstrate our continued willingness to resolve this without need for Court intervention.

I didn't mean 'unfixed'...should have said 'sufficed'...blooming auto correct!

Thank you for all the responses. I've just noticed a possibly anomaly and I wonder if anyone has experienced similar. On the Claim form the buyer gives an outline of particulars but states 'I will forward separate detailed particulars of claim to the defendant within 14 days of service of this claim' The claim was issued my MCOL on 7th May and deemed served on 12th. The last communication we had from the buyer was in response to our email dated 5th May whereby we reiterated out willingness to stand by Ebays decision and offer full refund upon return of the wheels. His email is dated 5th May, was via eBay account as opposed to our personal email and was headed 'without prejudice'. His opening line being 'I warned you I would initiate Court proceedings and this has been done today'. He goes on the reiterate his demands, in addition now to the court fee in order to suspend proceedings. This is also the email whereby he (presumably through typo) states he will dispose of the wheels within 7 days of his email. Now without really considering the dates or indeed the content of his email I presumed this was his 'detailed particulars of claim'. I referred to it in the defence and made point of stating that I had to make this presumption. However...this is dated prior to issue of the claim...nowhere does it formally describe it as detailed particulars and it does not have the statement of truth endorsed. So...my question is...is he now in breach of court protocol?? The claim details already on the N1 would have unfixed for issue really but does the fact he has stated his intention to serve the detailed particulars separately, and then failed to do so, count for anything?? I cannot contact MCOL until tomorrow now but I intend to do so to check whether he has filed a notice of service with them, which from what I've read he would have had to submit to the Court upon service of the detailed particulars to us. I wish I'd have considered this earlier...prior to submitting our defence...because we have now defended a claim to which we have not received the full details of the Claim as the Claimant sees it. Anyone?? Thank you

Thank you. A quick update. The last email we sent to this guy was (content as mentioned above) on the 7th day of the 7 days he gave us to respond before Court action. He responded the same day stating he had gone ahead earlier and issued a small claim via MCOL. His letter was hostile again and he slipped up stating that if we didn't comply with his requests for everything...plus now the court fee...within 7 days of his email he would dispose of the wheels! (He meant within 7 days of of the Judgment he believes will be made in his favour). We didn't respond. We have left him to hang himself with this statement (so to speak). We received the claim and acknowledged its service and have today filed our defence. Didn't realise until I copied and pasted it into the system that we were only allowed 122 lines...mine was at least double that! So, have condensed it, tried to be as consise as possible. Quoted some of his correspondance, pointed out his limited timescales, his neglect to ask questions or inspect the wheels prior to purchase (bearing in mind that legally when buying from private seller the owness is on the buyer to satisfy himself of product suitability...unless he can prove purposeful misdescription...which I can't see how he can from pur listing description), his refusal to abide by a process he instigated and ended with the point that his final contact with us (which according to his claim form was his attempt at providing us with a detailed Statement of Facts!) was not responded to due to our feeling that it was tantamount to threats and ultimatums...and we must now presume the wheels have been disposed of!! (I don't think this will be the case). Will have to ride it out and let the Court decide now.

Thank you to you all for your replies. We have decided to reply to this man stating that we are prepared, despite ebays closure of the matter pending his non response, to remain faithful to the direction given by the ebay resolution process and on receipt of the wheels he can still have full refund. Its obviously a more long winded and carefully written piece than that but in a nutshell...no return, no refund. Will just have to sit back and see what happens. Can feel my ears burning already! Thanks again for giving us the faith and confidence not to be held ramdsom to bullying tactics.

Sorry, submitted prior to finnishing that! Just so we no longer have to be bombarded with this mans aggression and threats. I do feel we should just say that refund will be given on return on goods but nothing more but then if he goes ahead and issues a small claim we could be looking at that plus his fees plus losses etc if Court ruled in his favour. I feel sure the Court would not accept his unwillingness at any negotiation or mediation but its a risk, so is it just cutting our noses off to spite our face?

Thank you for all the replies. Its terrible to be held randsom so someones aggresssion and feel like loosing money just so that we no longer

Sorry I was a bit unclear there. There is only one courier. It is one he arranged privately. I simply meant that in the initial listing courier delivery was offered if not collecting in person. Had he of done this rather than arranging privately maybe this would also have been covered for him by Ebay ruling? The fees he wants reimbursing are the ones he paid to his courier for collection. Of course he also wants us to pay for their return/disposal. Not sure whether the fact we could arrange return means he is confident of the cracks he claims are on the wheels or whether he is banking on us saying forget it heres your money, keep the wheels. We spent ages carefully wrapping these in accordance with this guys specific instructions on how the courier would accept them too. He claims 2 of the 4 wheels are cracked. He has submitted photos to support this. How do we know these were not cracked in mishandled transit? How do I know he hasnt simply changed his mind, done the damage in hope of returning them?! Sounds dramatic I know but these wheels came off our own car, where washed and photographed (unfotunately only to front where the chips/damage etc where on the alloys), I cant help but think we would have noticed cracks to our wheels! In his photo he has elaborately strewn all the packaging to emphasise his disgust at the content. Its crazy.

Sorry biggeorge I didn't see your response initially. Yes, though he initially won his claim through Ebay and a hold was placed on the paypal funds, it has now been closed due to non contact from buyer and the hold has been released on the money. Bit of a mess really insomuch as he clearly states in his most recent email that his claim would be won in court based on fact Ebay ruled in his favour. Not sure what legal bearing it has that he then did not comply with their request. I presume he is unhappy that Ebay did not instruct us to refund his courier fee. We offered to arrange courier as it happens and this may have then been covered for him as it would again have been payed via paypal. Our intention is not to keep someones money if they are unhappy that it is not as described but without the items being returned I cannot even verify that this is the case and have to wonder if he is banking on this by not returning them then making threats of court action. It was he who escalated it immediately to Ebay investigation without any initial contact expressing his concern and frankly reading the emails back that were sent/received prior to dispatch I do wonder if it was premeditated. He is a classic car business of some sort. But of course now does not have the full resolution he was seeking from Ebay so seeks this elsewhere.

Thank you. I guess the main issue is that despite going over the wheels with a toothcomb, cleaning them to photograph any faults and including these in description is that he claims there are cracks and therefore not as described. Whilst we feel sure we would have noticed these he has submitted photos. Our photos are of front of wheels, his are of the back, so it is difficult to tell if they are the same wheels. If we have missed it we are happy to issue refund, which is why we fully complied honestly and openly with Ebay investigation. This man is very aggressive. He wants not only the refund, but us to reimburse his own courier fee (arranged privately by himself so I guess not covered by Ebay decision) AND wants us to arrange their collection. His threat of Court is causing us some worry so the temptation is to refund him, including his courier fee but to then pay a courier fee on top to get them back is too much. I fear that if we issue refund plus his courier fee (and put it down to experience) that he will then ho ahead and issue a small claim for his costs of disposal. Seems far fetched I know but honestly if you could read this mans communications you would understand my concern.