I've not posted here in a long long time, hopefully someone can give me some advice. I've just been advised by Royal Mail that my post has been getting delivered to a similar address in my street but that it's my responsibility to get my mail back. Is this right? I've tried a few times to get an answer but either the flat is empty, or the person living there is away / not answering. There's some important letters that I know have been posted but have likely ended up there. Does anyone have any advice as to how to get them back?

Thanks for the info, that explains it all much better than the options I was coming up with! However, life has changed for me in that I have been offered my old job back on a slightly decreased salary but at a new office and a new position that I was overlooked for before. I have emailed my case officer, only to be told that I now have another new case officer dealing with me. The old case worker reckons that I should still return my IPA form, for the new person to decide what to do next. If I don't agree with the IPA as it stands should I still return the form? My IPA is based on me having a surplus of £70 a month, but I am approx £80 worse off by taking the new job so in effect if i sent the IPA back based on the wrong income and expenditure I'll still have to send them a new SOA and negotiate a new IPA that I can afford? Argh, if I thought my head was going to burst before it definitely will now!

I'm not sure about the 34 months either, but it's an amount I can afford to pay without ending up in debt again. Although he did say if any of my expenses went up to let them know straight away and they'd readjust, so he was a lot more helpful than I thought he'd be. Obviously with only 3 weeks left of my BR to run it's not ideal, but it's a lot better than what I was paying in trying to juggle my debts.

Well I finally got to speak to my case officer, and after much panic and tears have sorted everything out. At first I thought he sounded quite harsh, but on explaining things he became much nicer and more polite (almost human!) I explained that if I could get a job closer to home then I would, but there's nothing going. I also explained that whilst I understand that my parents' mortgage and bills etc are of no concern to me, if I was to live on my own then I would be much much worse off. He also agreed that I could have all mail from them sent to my friends address (they've been brilliant throughout this, and were the ones who offered to put me up if I needed to.) I've also agreed an IPA over the phone, at a more realistic amount than what they asked for, but I need to pay it for 34 months for some reason.

Thanks Ida, the situation now is that I cannot face lying to my parents over this anymore. They are becoming increasingly suspicious of the situation, particularly the letters coming in from AiB and have made it clear that if I'm in trouble then they can't have me living under their roof. I have some lovely friends who have offered to let me stay with them on the condition that I pay 50% of the rent and bills, and that I buy my own groceries etc. This is understandable, the way they see it, their house isn't a hotel and shouldn't be treated as such - I will also be using their gas / electricity etc whilst I'm there. This is only short term until things either calm down at home, or until I can find a flat I can afford on my own, or at least move into a shared flat somewhere. Can the AiB stop me from moving out, if it is likely to worsen my financial situation? I have already been off sick through stress of the situation at home, so for the sake of my mental health it might be a case of jump before I am pushed.

Is it possible to have a correspondence address held by the AiB rather than your actual address?

The issue I have with putting things in writing, is that my parents have now worked out where the letters are coming from, thanks to the AiB putting their address on the envelopes. Do you know if the AiB would accept an alternative address as a postal / correspondence address in the short term? Another thing I'll need to query with them is the fact that if I sign to agree the IPA, then I also agree to 6 month reviews of my IPA. I thought you just notified them of any changes as and when they happen. I'm not going through this rigmarole every 6 months if I then have to keep phoning them and checking things.

Well I phoned AiB and my case officer is on holiday until next week and no one else will talk to me about it.

I changed jobs, and notified the AiB with my updated SOA. It showed my increased salary and also my increased expenditure. My parents asked if I could pay more to the house because my mum's overtime has stopped at her work.

I don't have a money advisor, I work full time 35 miles from home and I don't think CAB or anything like that is open at weekends. Thanks to getting points on my licence a couple of months ago, my car insurance has just rocketed by over £300 a year. It's just all come at once and I can't cope with this. I'm trying to find a quiet room at work so I can phone them. The other thing is, the end date of my IPA is down as June 2014, I thought an IPA only runs for 3 years including your BR year, I've got an extra year on mine?

There is absolutely no doubt about it, that's for sure. I've never had a great relationship with them, this will just be the final nail in the coffin so to speak

It's the AiB. The way I see it, if I have to "prove" that I live at my parents' address outwith being on the Electoral Roll, then it leaves me no choice but to move out. I'll phone my case officer tomorrow and see what they say, i've done nothing but cry since I read the letters.

I now have 4 weeks until I'm discharged, and today I received an IPA for £120 a month. My SOA showed a surplus but nowhere near that, so what do I do now. The really worrying part is the other letter that's looking for 3 things: 1. All documents relating to your car including insurance documents (this was sent to them in February, surely it should be in my file?) 2. Break down of my transport costs for the month 3. Tenancy agreement (letter signed by parents to confirm you are resident in their home) I'm worried about the 3rd one as my parents absolutely cannot know about my BR, they will throw me out, no doubt about it. I really don't know what to do next, just when I thought I was moving on with my life, this comes out the blue. According to the letter I have 7 days to send them everything and I don't know what I'm going to do. Please can someone help? Thank you

That's a relief, thank you! I included an updated SOA showing my increased rent and other outgoings in my email to them. On the whole I haven't found my local CAB to be particularly helpful, so I shall do a paper copy of the SOA I emailed to them, sign it and hopefully that will be accepted by them without having to go through a telephone interview.

Thanks for that bluedogx, it's very helpful! I was allowed to keep my mobile contract in my initial application for BR, and also on my halfway SOA. By the time I have paid tax, national insurance and now the dreaded student loan payment (!) I am approximately £200 better off, but the only reason I sought a better paying job was because I was asked if there was any chance I could pay more to the house. Although I don't have a formal tenancy agreement with my parents, I do pay rent to pay towards their mortgage and bills. We all know that gas, electricity and food has gone up lately, and my mother's income has been cut almost in half - 30 hours per week down to 17.5 is sore on anyone's lifestyle, but moreso when you're on minimum wage. Will the AiB want to see proof of this? I'm not sure how I can prove this when my parents don't know I'm BR.