I've been having a tough time and ended up getting so low to the point of getting bad suicidal thoughts and really in bad shape. My GP said I need to get well again so signed me off for 2 weeks and I sent off the sick note. Will this have any effect as if Ingeus tell me to do anything then will my sick note do any good? I queried this with my GP and he said no they can't make you do anything. The manager emailed me directly on Friday as I left her a letter from my GP so I don't know if she will be able to help. I can't go on any further right now do to being in very bad shape and need some time at least to recover. Either that or I just top myself.

That's good to hear then. I'll talk to the Manager on the phone when I next have to speak to my adviser. Apparently some person from their mental health team was meant to contact me this week but no sign of it. I don't have much hope of them being any good seeing as they aren't any good at advising my adviser. Also how the mental health team can give any advice without actually talking to me in the first place is mind boggling.

Can Ingeus force me to do anything work related even though I'm on ESA? I ask as I find it hard to say no to stuff yet I would like to give things a go but not to the point of having a break down. I want to say no sometimes but feel like I'm not allowed to or my benefits will be stopped. It will be a good while before I can even think about getting into work so being forced to do any kind will end up sending me the other way. Their lack of understanding plus my adviser saying to me 'what kind of girl would want you in you current situation' still effects me and makes me angry every time I hear his voice now to the point where I don't want to talk to him due to having no trust and hating him. I have worked really hard to get to this point but all this crap has sent me back so much. It doesn't help that I keep having mild suicidal thoughts which I haven't had for such a long time. My anxiety/depression has gotten bad and feel like there's no hope for the future even though I was so positive before I started with Ingeus. The manager I spoke to in December said I would be able to space my sessions out so they are monthly to start with but my adviser keeps ignoring this and calls me every 2 weeks. They have also been told that I need to keep my stress levels down due to me being on Roccutane but they don't care. I'm going to see my GP though I don't know if that will help.

I'll basically wait for his next move, tell him I did the CV stuff and be firmer with him and if need be get his manager (who I know is a nice person) to call me. Plus tell the mental health lady everything and make sure she knows what the score is. My health is way more important than that jumped up clueless idiot. Thanks Antone.

He's saying that this is what he's been advised by the mental health team as a way of me moving forward but they have not even seen me (the mental health team at Ingeus) to make any sort of assessment. I haven't emailed him the proof that I have handed in the CV's yet as he'll probably think it all went A-OK as I did it straight away even though it was tough as hell and he'll probably push me even further off the cliff. Basically anything I say, gets twisted and I'm made to feel like I'm fobbing him off with excuses. It's like he's either ticking off the boxes or he gets paid more for getting each client into work or something. Even if he sent me the MAN then that would be be illegal right? So he'd have no comeback? I think when the mental health lady calls, I will tell her everything and if she doesn't listen then I'm not sure what I'll do as my adviser is clearly a pratt. They've clearly just latched onto the Agoraphobia part and not the OCD, depression. 15 years of bad acne which I am mental scared which I am still slowing fighting and making small but positive progress. All I hear is stuff about the Agoraphobia and nothing else. I told my counselor today if I could give her name and contact details to the mental health lady so she can have a word with her if need be and I have a GP appointment next week so will ask her for help as well.

I basically handed those CV's out due to fear. He keeps making everything seem like, if I do this or that then I will end up having my benefits stopped which in turn stresses me out and makes me go the opposite way instead of moving forward. He said he's put it down as mandatory on my file or something too. I just don't know what I can do tbh as he clearly isn't listening and seems to have it in his head that I have a time limit and must rush everything. I just had another small suicidal thought and am worrying how bad I'll get. It's not to the point that I'd do anything but any type of thought like that isn't good especially because of the Ache medicine I'm on. I don't know whether the mental health lady will be any use either. It's like I'm meant to sprint before I can run let alone walk.

Hi antone, Yes I am on ESA but in the work related activity group. He only told me on the phone and said I must do it. So I basically went into 3 different places down the road which I had no interest in and gave them my CV and asked them to write their name and number as my adviser wanted proof. While doing this I was a nervous wreck but felt so pressured into doing it that I did it. He says handing the CV's is a way of practicing it which I get but it's not appropriate at this time at least. He said I have 2 weeks to do it or I'll have to go and see him in person. There has to be something I can do as I really can't live like this.

I'm back to square one with this crap! He was meant to phone on Monday but allegedly couldn't get through and kept going to voice mail even though I had many calls that day from various people and they all got through fine so he is clearly talking crap. I waited all day and he only emailed me at 5.30 when he finished work so a waste of a day. He said he'll try Thursday (6th feb). He phoned but I was in the shower so said to phone him back which I did and he was back to the whole send your CV to three different places (including proof) and he made it mandatory as I hadn't done it when he previously asked me too even though he knew that as I had seen him in person (see 2nd quote above). I'm basically a bag of nerves being forced to do this and that without being heard and I'm actually going back instead of forwards. My demotolagist and GP did tell me to keep my stress levels down as I have depression and I have had suicidal thoughts before and the Roccutane can amplify the thoughts. I haven't had any suicidal thoughts for a very long time but today I had some small thoughts and I really feel like I'm just going back and back and they probably won't take any notice till I am actually dead. My adviser said some lady from the mental heath team will call me next week though they are apparently advising him with what course of action to take so I'm not sure what good that will do. I have made an appointment with my GP as I am really just anxious, no appetite, have chest pain from all the worry/stress, can't concentrate and trying to hold it all together. Ingeus really are idiots.

Hi, So I went today with my dad. We had to park quite far as there was no parking near the actual Ingeus place so that was tough having to walk all that way but I did it. I got there and I asked to see someone in charge but ended up seeing the adviser who I had the issue with. The Secretary wasn't a barrel of laughs and quite moody/uninterested even though I was told 'everyone is friendly here' during my appointment with the Manager last December but oh well I didn't pay too much attention to it and sat down. The wait for really hard as he did come see me before our actual meeting though I didn't shake his hand due to bad eczema I have though I did mention it at the end just so that he knew I wasn't being rude. The meeting started and I asked to change adviser but apparently it's not possible as they change every six months so I'll have a new guy in June anyway. I was very firm though I did say the 'BS' word once though I apologised as I was very, very angry inside and trying to contain it while being firm. I was actually shaking at one point. I mentioned the thing about no girl being interested in me and all that and it came down to him basically approaching me in the wrong way. I am Indian as well as he is and he is a year younger so what he did was use his own experiences of being Indian and applied them to me. In out culture parents can be pushy and all that about marriage. I made sure that he knew that was over the line and has nothing to do with me and this work related course I'm on and it was personal stuff that shouldn't even be discussed unless the client brings it up. Also I said about being pushed to do things I am not ready to and feel like I am not being listened to and what it basically came down to was that his approach to me was wrong from day one. I said you should of treated me as an individual and not compared me to himself as everyone is different and without actually meeting me he can't just guess what my character is like. I explained that things will be very slow and I can't be rushed which he took note of and I feel things will be a lot better. I have learnt to speak my mind now and tell him when I am not comfortable as there is no point trying to please him if I myself am not happy. I may have left some stuff out as I am still recovering from all this but he will be calling me on the 30th and I will make sure if we can space the calls/appointments out. One good thing did happen was that I went with my dad into Sainsbury (I haven't been there in over 10 years) after my appointment so that's one small step forward. I want to thank you all for your support and I am glad I have somewhere I can speak to people without being judged.

I've printed the guidance out and will take it with me and refer to it if they are awkward. Thank you so much for the support guys.

Antone, Thank you for that, my dad said he'll come for support as I feel incredibly nervous and stressed out and I will see them tomorrow. I will make sure I see someone in charge as well as the adviser clearly has no social skills. I will let you know how it goes.

hi ep1987. I am on ESA as well and have done everything as you have so far except the appealing bit. The guy basically has no interest in what I say and the whole thing about 'no girl wanting me in my current situation' really was over the line. I froze at the time and it only hit me today and I really feel like I was treated very badly. He's there to help with work related stuff not my personal life. I am going to ask to see him on Friday and tell him all my issues and problems with him and ask to change adviser as there is no way I can talk to him after that rude behavior. I will also try to see someone in charge and talk to them too. I can't sleep or do anything as my anxiety has gone through the roof!

Hi, first time post here but I wasn't sure where else to talk about my problem. I am 31, suffer from Depression, OCD, Agoraphobia and have been getting counseling and I am making small steps forward. Also I'm on Roccutane for acne and have various side effects from that. In December iirc I had an appointment at the Job Center with a nice lady from Ingeus who had a good talk with me and my problems and was very understanding. She said I will be contacted on the 8th January from an adviser. Last week I had my first call from Ingeus with said adviser and he seemed OK and he asked me to create a CV and a covering letter which I did and that went well. This week he called me and expects me to suddenly go around handing in my CV to various places I might be interested in. Now I understand that his job is to get the client to do something towards getting a job but I am not even at that stage yet. I questioned this and was made to feel like I was saying 'NO I DON'T WANT TO, I DON'T WANT TO WORK' when in fact I would love to but at the moment it isn't doable. He then bought up stuff about the future and my age which I do admit is getting on a bit but he went as far as to say 'would a girl want to be with this version of you right now?' to which I replied 'no of course not' and felt like I was being forced to say the right things. I have very low self confidence and at the time of the call I lost all ability to defend myself and went along with everything he said and even said I'll try a few places and hand my CV in even though I am not comfortable yet to do anything close to that. So today everything that was said in the call hit me and I feel incredibly upset and keep panicking and have lost all appetite and feel lonely. It doesn't help that he clearly has no idea about any of the conditions I have as he just thinks right do this, this and this and you'll be fine. I have yet to meet him in person as I have only had two telephone calls yet but it is starting to send me back down even though I've been mading slow but steady progress. I've never had any support from the job center and now this guy is doing the same. How can someone with problems go forward if know one listens.