Thank you for replying. I've been reading through many of the thread here and it seems like this is pretty common. In looking at the ebay policy - If I don't accept the return they will issue the refund anyway There doesn't seem to be any recourse or protection for sellers. The only thing I can do at this point is appeal. I will probably lose because ebay is clearly buyer biased but at least I can try. If anything, it prolongs the process and she won't get the refund as quickly.

Hi I’m a new member and feeling a bit unsure of how/where to post so please bear with me. I know this is long but I wanted to include everything so that readers would have the whole picture. Thank you in advance for your support. On April 2, 2013 I listed a wedding dress auction. I had indicated in the listing, this dress came as a donation item in effort to contribute to active fundraising activities. The dress description indicated that the item had the tags in place, would need to be cleaned and pressed, and had a few clasps that were coming loose. The listing gave specifications of the dress to include measurements, fabrics, and original retail price. Also included in the listing was that the dress was donated and all proceeds would be directly given to the charitable organization, in my area, I included details about the organization name and efforts. Pictures used were taken the same day as the listing was created. Upon completion of the listing, the dress was wrapped in plastic, was then placed into a box with packing papers for added protection, and made ready for shipping. The buyer contacted me on 04/08/2013 with an inquiry about the train length; she requested that a photo be taken of the dress on so that she would have more of an idea as to the length. I explained that the dress does not fit me and an attempt to photograph myself in the dress would not be a fair representation. I did not tell the buyer that I’m just five feet tall, 109 pounds and a size four, the size 22 dress is 18 sizes to large but only that I did not feel it appropriate that I model the dress. I instead sent her a photo of the train and a link to the David’s Bridal webpage so that she could get exact dress specification. She responded that what I had sent would suffice. She then sent a follow up message asking what color the dress was. I told her it was Ivory. The auction ended with her as the highest bidder. Once payment was received total amount of the funds were taken from my personal account, minus shipping and selling fees funds and donated in the original dress donator’s name. The buyer and I exchanged a few very pleasant messages; she requested a tracking number which I provided. I messaged her tracking details and expressed that I hoped she would be pleased with the dress. On April 22, 2013 the buyer contacted me to express her dissatisfaction with dress; she indicated that the train of the dress was dirty and that she believed that the tags had been replaced after it had been worn. I responded conveying my disappointment that she was not pleas with the dress, assuring her that the dress had not been worn, as well as reminding her that the listing had clearly stated that the dress would need to be cleaned. I further explained that the funds had been immediately donated to the Best Buddies organization and were no longer in my possession. She responded that “it is an insult to have a worn wedding dress on my wedding day.” At which point I remained apologetic in her disappointment but assured her that the dress had not been worn prior to her receiving it; I again reminded her that the listing clearly indicated that the dress would need to be cleaned. At which point (01:04 PM PST 04/22/2013) she exercised the “Buyer Protection” option under the classification that the item was not as described, stating that the train was dirty and that “NO BRIDE WANTS A DIRTY WEDDING DRESS ON HER SPECIAL DAY!!” Throughout that same day we, exchanged many of the same details within the dispute resolution process. I attempted multiple times to assure her that the dress had not been worn but as indicated in the listing, it did need to be cleaned. She indicated that she would send pictures of the dress and that I was untrustworthy. That same afternoon (03:54 PM PST 04/22/2013) she responded stating that she would keep the dress under the condition that I pay for cleaning. At which point I stated that she was essentially asking me to pay for something that was stated as needing being done in the first place but to go ahead and get the estimate and in the meantime I would need to find out what my rights were. The following morning (07:32 AM PST 04/23/2013 she indicated that she had taken the dress to the cleaners and that it was estimated to be $100-$150. She went on to details other areas of the dress that were of concern; stating that they were the professional opinion of the cleaners. I expressed an interest in seeing an itemized statement from the cleaner, as my own wedding dress with preservation had not been as high. I also told her that the areas of concern were not noted when the dress was in my possession. I also asked if she had taken it to more than one cleaner. She responded that she had taken the dress to two cleaners and that the second cleaner estimated that the cost of cleaning would be $100-$125. She also indicated that the cost of living in area residence was much more affordable. She knew this because she has shopped in an area that is more than four hours away and that she knew “all about the CHEAP PRICES THERE.” Moments later she responded stating that "ALSO TAGS CAN BE REATTACHED!!! AS I BELIEVE IS WHAT HAPPENED HERE. CONSIDERING I USE TO WORK IN RETAIL. I HAVE HAD SEVERAL PEOPLE RETURN ITEMS WITH THE TAG ATTACHED BUT SMELLED LIKE PERFUME AND HAD BEEN WASHED. " While I did not agree with her request, for resolution purposes I agreed to pay ½ of the cost of her lowest cleaning estimate, which would have been $50. I did not hear from her again on this day. I contacted an ebay representative (07:36 PM PST 04/24/2013) in order to understand how the process works and how I might be able to submit several of the photos of the dress while it was still in my possession, as well as a written statement from the donor in regards to the dress condition and history. At the suggestion of the ebay representative I requested (08:26 PST 04/23/2013) that the buyer upload pictures of the dress so that I might be able to see her concerns. The following morning (06:04 AM PST 04/24/2013) the buyer responded, stating that she would accept $65 for the cleaning of the dress and that she would upload pictures of the dress if ebay would instruct her as to how to do it. I repeated the instructions that I was given by the ebay representative who indicated that it was allowable to use the ebay messages area to upload supportive evidence for verification purposes; stating that once an upload has been completed to then make a note in the resolution area, both platforms are monitored by ebay & will be used when making any determinations on the case. I again requested that share the images in the ebay message area and then make note of the upload within the resolution area. This request elicited a withdrawal of all previous negotiations and a cease in all communications from the buyer. Her last communication (07:40 AM PST 04/24/2013) "I CAN DO SOMETHING EVEN BETTER FOR YOU. I WILL SEND THE DRESS BACK TO YOU SO THAT YOU CAN SEE FOR YOURSELF. AND I WILL SEND A NOTE WITH THE DRESS DESCRIBING ALL THE AREAS OF THE DRESS THAT ARE DIRTY. THAT WAY YOU CAN SEE WITH YOUR OWN EYES. I WILL REQUEST A RETURN LABEL FROM EBAY TO SEND THE DRESS BACK TO YOU TODAY. THAT WAY WE CAN SOLVE THIS TODAY....I WILL NOT GO THROUGH ANOTHER DAY OF ARGUING. THIS IS WAY OUT OF CHARACTER FOR ME. I USUALLY WALK AWAY FROM ARGUMENTS. I WILL LET YOU KNOW THE TRACKING NUMBER WHEN I TAKE THE DRESS TO THE POST OFFICE. HAVE A BLESSED DAY." That evening I had not heard back and sought clarification as to where we were in the process, previously the buyer had indicated that she would share pictures and was agreeable to splitting the cleaning expenses. Based on her last communication I asked for clarification as to my understating of where we were in the process stating that my understanding “As I understand it, you do not wish to send photos & plan to move forward in the dispute process. Is this correct? " The buyer did not respond and did not supply me with pictures or a written estimate of the cleaning bill. When the time for “working it out” had passed, I contacted ebay and asked if I would be able to escalate the process. I was told no that the buyer would have to do this but at that time I would be able to submit my pictures and written statement from the original donor. The buyer escalated the case early the next morning at which point I received notification from ebay that I would be contacted within 48 hours. This morning, I received notice that ebay had made decision, stating the following: Decision: We've asked the buyer to return the item to you for full refund. Comments: The buyer has been asked to return the item to you. Once tracking shows the item has been delivered to you, the buyer will be issued a full refund. I contacted ebay again. I told the representative that I had been advised that I would be provided an opportunity to submit my own “evidence” once the case had been escalated but this had not occurred but yet a decision had been made in favor of the buyer. I was told that message may be a bit misleading. At this point the buyer was to return the dress to me and I was to inspect it and contact ebay upon receipt. At this point I would be able to file an appeal and give my “evidence” as to the condition of the dress. The rep assured me that by no means was the case closed. I’ve been a user for some 12 years, I have successfully engaged in hundreds of mostly buying and a few selling transactions. While I am disappointed in the outcome of this transaction, I have tried unsuccessfully to negotiate a fair end for both parties. As indicated, the posting clearly stated that the dress would need to be cleaned. Even though I do feel that I accurately represent the condition of the dress I still offered to share this burden of cleaning for the sake of resolution. I made no unreasonable demands, nor did I question the buyer’s integrity (though mine was continually attacked). I continued to keep respectful communications open but was met with opposition of silence. The funds from this sale were given to charity, I simply do not have the means to meet this out of pocket burden and I’m not feeling overly confident that ebay will be of any support, there is no recourse for me as a seller and there has been no opportunity to be heard. I strongly doubt that once the dress is returned and in my possession I will be given any other means of dispute and will have to shoulder this regardless. I plan on closing my ebay account once this is resolved, based on principle. I have no desire to continue contributing to any operation that is biased and partial. I do however I do need my paypal account. I’m clueless as to what to do at this point. Please any advice would be greatly valued.