I hear what you say raydetinu – my wife took what little money we had and ran off to South Africa. I have been very accommodating so far and, after two years separation, asked her to divorce me as she gets legal aid where she is living now. She has agreed, she’s found a solicitor, but she refuses to pay the fairly minimal court costs. I was prepared to leave the policy as it is so that she could benefit, but I’m having second thoughts because of her intransigence. If I now divorce her and make this a condition, I’m not sure if she can dig her heels in and refuse to dissolve our marriage on the basis of this policy. The divorce is important to me as I am retired now and wish to get on with my life, but it seems wrong that someone who almost wrecked my life and took any money I had, should still be controlling me after more than two years. That she should now benefit from my death also is a hard pill to swallow. If I can get the policy surrendered, she will have no reason not to pay the divorce costs and she can keep the rest of the money or reinvest it.

At the moment, there has not been any settlement of assets as the divorce application is in the early stages. I would have been prepared to allow her to continue with the policy but she is being difficult and I feel less inclined to do so now. As nothing has yet been settled, is there scope to include this still or can she simply veto any suggestions? Many Thanks ...

Thanks for your help. While we were together, my wife paid the premiums by direct debit from her personal account. I am wondering if, as the policy has a surrender value, it would constitute ‘joint assets’ in a divorce as the premiums during our marriage could be considered to be joint payments. The policy was taken out many years ago and I have no information about it now. I cannot say what type of policy it is, but Skandia have identified it and it is still being paid. I have emailed FSA but they take 12 working days to reply. I cannot believe that I don’t have any rights in law in terms of influencing this policy. Surely she cannot benefit from my death if it is against my wishes. Steve

Unfortunately that does not help my situation. I am the life assured, not the policyholder. I signed my agreement to that when I was married, I want to ‘un-sign’ now we are being divorced - surely I must have some rights. I find it hard to understand how a marriage contract can so easily be dissolved, but the life policy that went with it can not. There must be someone who can contest this. Any ideas would be most welcome. Steve

I am currently seeking a divorce from my wife. At 67, I am 25 years older than she is and about ten years ago we took out a life assurance policy in her name and against my life. I now wish that policy to be surrendered by her as I do not want her to benefit from my death. She is refusing to do this - what are my options and who do I turn to? Naturally, Skandia, with whom the policy is held, cannot deal with me directly, only my wife. I have very little money and I would like to know what my rights are before seeking legal advice. Many Thanks, Steve